"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Laws That Make Sense

Thank you Meari for originally posting this.

Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last and they are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over while those in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and who stay to the bitter end of the performance and beyond. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.


becomingwhole said...

Ha! I love these! Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy seems to especially apply to me and lipsticks...

Sunny said...

My DH always teases me about the Commercial Marketing Strategy one... whenever I find a product I love, or have a favorite meal at a restaurant, etc., it always gets discontinued. He does his best NEVER to like anything I like, that way he knows it will always be available!

Another Dreamer said...

Ha! So true :)

Busted Tube said...

Hehe! These are the kinds of things that rule my life!
Thanks for your comment on my blog- I'll definitely be checking out your Book Challenge!

Clare said...

I think we should throw out the physics textbooks and teach these instead! The law of Commercial Marketing strategy definitely applies to me with every beauty/hair product I've ever used. P.S Love the Harry Potter ticker!

WiseGuy said...

Love it! Too Funny! That Wilson's Law applies to me...I started loving a pattern of footwear and well the Bata store stopped stocking it!

And the Law of Close Encounters...let's just say that I am Masters at it!

battynurse said...

Oh how true this all is.

niobe said...

Sigh. Sad, but all too true.

Sheliza said...

ha ha! So true! Especially the last one. Always, always happens!

Meari said...

LOL... aren't these great? I recently ran into the Marketing Strategy and lipstick! Sooooo annoying....

Beautiful Mess said...

HA! This is a GREAT list. I was nodding my head at every single one!