I'm not talking about Munchausen by Internet or emotional fraud on the internet. I'm talking about being fooled about what a person is really like in your daily life. I'm sure each one of us has been fooled by people we know casually. I'm also equally sure most of us like to think we are a pretty good judge of people we consider our friends. I know I like to think that. But, I just found out yesterday, for the second time in 2 1/2 years, that I was completely wrong about someone.
About 2 1/2 years ago, I found out that a man both Vic and I knew and considered a friend, got hauled in on spousal abuse charges. It would have been a big enough shock to hear that about anyone I was friends with but hearing it about this individual was a huge shock because I had seen him help someone escape from an abusive relationship by providing the financial resources she needed to do so. I had also seen the disdain this individual had for abusers whenever we encountered an abuse situation while running calls for the rescue squad. It totally blew my mind that he would ever lay a hand on his wife let alone that he did it regualarly.
Then, yesterday I found out someone both Vic and I were extremely close to, someone we broke bread with and considered a family member, had not only resorted to cheating on and then leaving his wife and kids but he also had spent their last few years together emotionally abusing her. And, after he left them, he didn't pay and support payments until the courts threatened to have him thrown into jail. I am simply stunned that I was so very wrong about him.
I guess if I've only been that wrong about 2 people in my life over the almost 40 years I've been around, those aren't bad odds. But, I am still very shaken by this latest revelation. I am so glad I am happily married and have been for almsot 15 years or my faith in marriage might be rocked too.
Have you ever been completely wrong about someone? And, if you were, how did you handle it?