A Rose By Any Other Name

Day 21
What names would you NEVER name a child or pet? Shakespeare said "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." I know the Bard had a finger on human emotions and motivation but I beg to differ with him on this idea. Marty, Joey, and Gabriel are all perfectly wonderful names for my boys in my book. And, I love the names (even the goofy ones) that all our pets have. While there are many other names I considered when choosing names for my children, there was one name I told Vic we could never, ever use if we had a boy. I could NEVER name a boy Ralph. Why is the name Ralph taboo in my house? I bet you'll be surprised by the reason. It actually has nothing to do with the fact that ralph is slang for puking (although that would have moved the name way down the list). No, the name Ralph was stricken from my list because of a book. I was in 6th grade when I read Judy Blume's book Forever. Forever is the coming of age story of Katherine and includes her relationship with Michael, the boy she lost her virginity to. Michael has a name for his penis and that name just happens to be Ralph. Since then, I have never been able to hear that name without thinking of the book and the connotations therein.

What name do you wish you had been named? Honestly, I have never wished to have a different name.I love my first name and my middle name is the same as my aunt Kathy's middle name.

Do you like the name of your blog? Way back in the beginning of 2009, I gave my blog a makeover. It gained a new look and a new name but kept the same url. The more geeky of you might have noticed that my blog url is very different from the name. The url stems from the original name of my blog, The Fertile Infertile. When I first started my blog, we were in the hell of secondary infertility and repeat pregnancy loss. Even after we finally had Gabe, I left the blog name alone. Part of that was because I wasn't blogging that often and part of it was I just didn't have a better idea. By early 2009, I had been back to actively blogging for about 6 months and I knew it was time for a change. You can read a little bit about what the name change meant here and here (question 2).

Weigh in with your thoughts on these questions and join the fun of Calliope's Bloggity Summer Camp.

Lifted Up With Kindness

Welcome back to the coolest summer camp around, Calliope's Blogging Summer Camp. Today, Head Counselor Calliope posed the following question for Day 20 – What is the kindest thing anyone has ever done for you? Did you repay the kindness? Did you blog about it?

This is a really hard question for me to answer because I have had some really phenomenal things done for me during my life. When we were in the depths of infertility hell, the fabulous ladies of the Cross Stitch Crazy board made me a quilt in memory of all my lost little ones. I had two wonderful, lovely friends who dropped their lives, packed up their kids, and came to take care of me during that same time frame. I have had other people do wonderful, helpful things that I simply can't discuss here. When I haven't been able to repay the person directly for the amazing kindnesses they've done me, I have always made sure I paid it forward.

Day 13
Tell us about the best job you ever had, and the worst. Do you ever quote or reference blogs while at work? Other than being a mom, the very best job I've ever had was when I volunteered as a paramedic. I think at some level, I'm an adrenaline junkie and, oh man, did being a paramedic give me that fix. I got to see the weird of the weird and I got to help people who really needed it. I have stories to last a lifetime and, if the hours were more family friendly, I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

The worst job I had was working as a weekend residential counselor at a group home. Here in NC, the type of group home I worked at was known as a Willie M home and was for emotionally disturbed children with violent tendencies. I know the kids were emotionally disturbed. I could have dealt with it better if I had a decent boss but our boss was a raving bitch who never supported her staff and was more than willing to throw us under the bus if she thought it would advance her position. She didn't back me up when I had a financial claim because of the damage the kids did to my car. It was truly a job from hell.

Do you ever blog or read blogs while at work? Considering my current job is being a stay at home wife and mother, that's the only time I have to blog and read blogs.

Day 14
How do you typically dress to run errands? Do you think bloggers dress better or worse than “regular people”? I dress very casually most days...some might even say a bit sloppily at times. I adore beautiful clothes and would LOVE to be able to afford nicer clothes but our budget is limited and most of it goes to the kids. Such is life. I think bloggers have the same variations of stylish vs casual or sloppy dressers that the rest of society has.

So, tell me about a kindness done for you or your best/worst job or maybe your style of dress. I wanna know all about you!

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Don't forget to stop by my Summer Block Party and enter to win.

Day In And Day Out

Hey y'all. It's me, the slacker camper here. Still trying to catch up with my Blogging Summer Camp schedule...but, I'm beginning to think it's hopeless..well, maybe not hopeless but it's taking a hell of a lot longer than I thought it would.

Camp Counselor Calliope posed this question for Day 19...How do you (and your partner if applicable) feel about PDA? Does your husband/wife/partner know that you blog and, if so, are they involved? I'm not a big fan of PDAs. Hugs, little pecks, walking arm in arm, all those things are ok but I find it extremely distasteful when people go at it in public...totally without class. My husband does know I blog and reads off and on. In fact, I got him blogging (sporadically) at The Warped Musings of My Inner Self.

Day 11
How are you different from your parents? How are you the same? Well, except for my curly hair, I look very much like my mother. I am a little shorter and probably (sadly) a bit heavier than my mother. I got my skin coloring and lack of height from my dad's family. My sense of humor is a lot like my mom's and sometimes it drives my dad off the deep end (he doesn't appreciate our risque humor). Politically, I seem to fall in between them. My mom still thinks she's a raging liberal democrat but, when you can get her to talk issues and not parties, she isn't quite as liberal as she thinks she is. My dad is a dyed in the wool Republican. The joke in our family is that the only time he voted for a Democrat for president was when JFK ran and he only got my dad's vote because he was Catholic. I definitely consider myself a Libertarian which means I'm stuck being registered as an Independent.

Do your parents and/or family know that you write on-line? Even though they all know I blog now and probably all have the link, it didn't start out that way.

Day 9
What is the most important lesson you learned from your own mother (or other primary caretaker)? I have learned more than I could ever begin to explain in one post. I learned compassion and I learned how to help others in any way possible. I learned that a woman can be the strong one when it's needed. I learned from my parents that "For Better or For Worse" means exactly that and you don't cut and run when you run into trouble. I learned that giving of my time is just as important if not more important than giving of my money. I was truly blessed to have the parents and family that I have.

What do you imagine the name of your Grandmother’s blog would be and what would she write about? I think my maternal Grandma's blog would be called The Military Wife and she would talk about the experiences she had being married to a career military man and volunteering with the Red Cross during war time. I think my paternal Grandma's blog would be called The Butcher, The Baker, and the Newspaper Taker. During their life together, she and my Grandpa had a small butcher shop, she baked for her family, and they delivered newspapers to the entire community. I think she would write a little bit about everything.

Day 8
If you had to teach something, what would you teach? (If you DO teach, when did you discover your love for teaching/the subject?) I think if I ever went into teaching, I would love to teach a hands on art class and maybe venture into sewing, quilting, crocheting, and cross stitch. It would be so much fun.

Do you think blogs can play a role in education? I definitely think blogs can play a role in education as long as kids are taught to question and research everything they read. Blogs can also be a great place to practice writing skills.

Soooooo, to wrap it up, PDAs - thumbs up or thumbs down? Similarities and differences from your parents? Lessons learned and Grandmother's blog names? And, finally, tell me about teaching? Pick something and spill it!

Catch Me If You Can

I have been a bad, bad summer camper. My attendance has been haphazard and I'm going to try and do a little catch up today. I hope head counselor Calliope will forgive me.

Day 18
Our question today is How do you feel about astrology? What’s your sign, baby, and do you think it matches your personality? I don't take astrology seriously but I do have fun with it. I'm a Sagittarius and, baby, I'll claim all the good qualities of a Sag...

"Sagittarians have a positive outlook on life, are full of enterprise, energy, versatility, adventurousness and eagerness to extend experience beyond the physically familiar. They enjoy traveling and exploration, the more so because their minds are constantly open to new dimensions of thought. They are basically ambitious and optimistic, and continue to be so even when their hopes are dashed. Their strongly idealistic natures can also suffer many disappointments without being affected. They are honorable, honest, trustworthy, truthful, generous and sincere, with a passion for justice. They are usually on the side of the underdog in society they will fight for any cause they believe to be just, and are prepared to be rebellious. They balance loyalty with independence."

and I'll just avoid the bad vibes given off by the negative qualities. Definitely don't want to harsh my mellow.

Day 17
What is your favorite thing about the weekend? Do you take a break from blogs or is this when you catch up? I love getting to sleep in. I love that, on weekends, we usually don't have a set schedule and we just get to go with the flow. Sadly, with my husband's work schedule, the weekend is not a guarantee of us having more time together. As for blogging on weekends, I don't necessarily take a break then but I guess that I'm a bit more likely to take a break on the weekend.

Day 15
What was your college experience like? Were you involved in any clubs, groups, etc? If you did not go to college what was your experience like after high school? College was a really incredible experience for me. I think I finally came into my own during college and really gained a lot of self-confidence. Since I was willing to talk about anything and everything, I somehow ended up giving sexual advice to the people on my floor. I ended up gaining a reputation as the Dr. Ruth of my freshmen dorm. I also helped re-establish the Duke Democrats (I'm an avowed Libertarian now) with a dear friend...who I get to see in San Diego when I''m there for BlogHer (Hi Mike!). I also hung out with my friend Mike and his fraternity brothers. I got to go to most of their semi-formals which was incredible. I was vice-president of the Duke Equestrian team and spent one year as the treasurer for my dorm. I also was a member of the Lambda Nu chapter of Alpha Phi Omega - a co-ed service fraternity. And, speaking of dorms, I lived in the coolest dorm on campus. I guess the "popular" groups might have considered us a group of weirdos but we always had fun. We hosted a yearly "Come As You Aren't" party. We were a bunch of sci-fi geeks and Duke basketball fanatics. We hosted High Tea & Croquet on The Lawn. It was a fucking AWESOME place to live. And, OMG, DUKE BASKETBALL...getting to go to games in Cameron Indoor Stadium, camping out in Krzyzewskiville, face painting, and screaming ourselves hoarse.  Can you tell I loved my college years?

Sigh, I was going to try and catch up all the way but I have truly been a slack ass camper. I guess I'll have to do a few more multi day posts.

So, thoughts on astrology, tell me about your weekends, and what was college like for you? Spill it y'all. Inquiring minds want to know.

Confessions of a Social Media Junkie

If you had talked to me 10+ years ago, I never ever would have imagined the world of social media as it is. I never would have imagined being as immersed in it the way I am. I blog. I tweet. I'm on Facebook. I probably spend far more time online than I should really admit. I have to admit I'm more than a bit addicted to it all. I get antsy if I don't have access to blogging and I feel the compulsive need to read everything and catch up if I separated from my precious online connection. Hell, 10 years ago I wouldn't have called myself a writer and now I find myself so addicted to writing that I can't imagine going more than a couple of days without writing.

The question posed on Day 16 of Calliope's blogging summer camp is...

"How many friends of yours blog/tweet/actively facebook? Has social media helped or hurt your friendships?"

Honestly, since I don't differentiate between friends I've made online and friends I've met in my everyday life, I would have to to say that a majority of my friends are involved in social media. Now, if you talk about the people I physically interact with on a daily basis, I would guess it's a much smaller percentage.  But, I feel that social media has overall helped my friendships. I have friends who don't blog who read my blog regularly and it has allowed them to get to know me a lot better.  And, my involvement with social media and all forms of online interaction has brought a bunch of people to my life, people I probably wouldn't have met otherwise, and these are people whose friendship I treasure. I've also reconnected with friends from my past, people I lost touch with when we moved on to college or moved on due to our significant others. Some of these people from my past will probably pass in and out again but I've become closer to a large number of them and feel we'll stay good friends.

Sure, I waste some time with the apps and games available on facebook. I've spent more time than I care to admit playing Farmville...placing little fake animals on little fake farms...but I never let those games or apps keep me away from the things that really matter,

If you're reading this, you are already involved at least a little with social media. My only question is just how involved are you? Do you tweet, blog, or facebook? Do you do all three?

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Don't forget to stop by my Summer Block Party and enter to win.

When was your first time?

When was your first time? My first time was during the fall semester of my freshman year in college. I had just started at Duke on an Army ROTC scholarship. A few of the guys in my platoon just happened to be members of the DKE fraternity and they invited all of us to their first kegger of the year. That's where it happened. That was my first time. No, not THAT first time. It was my first time having too much to drink. Honestly, there wasn't much

special about the party except for some awesome swing dancing with my ROTC buddy. There was lots and lots of beer and a few quarters games going on. I found out I had an aptitude for quarters as long as I was aloud to launch them off my nose. Sadly. although I had an aptitude for quarters, I had no tolerance for beer. Boy, oh boy did I pay for it the next day.

©1996 Jim Wallace/Duke

The next day, every single ROTC member had to be at the Duke Chapel at 2pm in FULL dress uniform (can we say tight collars much) for the Veteran's Day service.I made it there on time...barely And, I managed to stay upright...barely. But, Kristin was NOT a happy camper. Trying to appear compose and polished when the room is spinning and you feel like your head is going to fall off is NOT a good thing. Tight collars combined with the gag reflex a hangover induces is also NOT a good thing.

Like most college students, the drunken revelry was not a one time thing but it is definitely a thing left to the past While I enjoy a drink now and then and a good party can really rock, I'm too damned old to party like that anymore.

When was your first time? Spill it in the comments or, if you participated in Day 12 of Calliope's blogging summer camp, leave me a link to your post.

Tasty Tuesday: Roasted Fresh Veggies

Welcome to both  Day 10 of Calliope's blogging summer camp and the latest edition of Tasty Tuesday.

One of the things I LOVE about summer time is the wonderful selection of fresh veggies available. And, one of my favorite ways to prepare them is also one of the easiest.

Roasted Fresh Veggies

Ingredients
This can be made with any type of fresh veggies...sweet potatoes and potatoes are also good options.
3 zucchini
3 yellow squash
2 large onions
1 cup baby carrots
4 cloves of garlic
olive oil
soy sauce
a little salt

1)Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2) Cut veggies into large chunks. I quartered the squash and zucchini lengthwise. Then, I cut them into chunks about 1 inch thick.
3) Put all the veggies into large baking dish
4) Mince the garlic and mix it with the veggies
5) Drizzle the veggies with olive oil and soy sauce
6) Mix it up thoroughly and lightly salt
7) Roast veggies for about 35 - 40 minutes

I love to eat these veggies either on their own or over rice.

What's new?

Welcome to Days 6 and 7 of Calliope's blogging summer camp. The thunderstorms are still hanging around my part of North Carolina and my head is still causing me to call it dirty names. Migraines suck and vicodin is my friend.

For Day 6, Calliope asked "When was the last time you tried something new? What was it and what was the result? Have you ever done something just so that you could blog about it?" Hmmmm, the last time I tried something new...

• I helped Marty try a brand new crock pot recipe tonight. He did a pretty good job and it was nice not having to make dinner.
• I'm deconstructing (a first) a dress and think I'm making it into a skirt I can take to BlogHer.
• I've decided on a little twist to my purple hair color...definitely new...can't wait.
• I played a most excellent new game (a big thanks to Mel aka Lollipop Goldstein) called What's Gnu? It's a super cool spelling game for kids.
• I don't think I've ever done something JUST so I could blog about it but I frequently think "Hmmm, that would be a hell of a lot of fun and it would make a good story."

Today, on Day 7, Calliope asked "What’s your favorite thing to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner? Do you read food blogs or would you ever consider writing one?"

• If time and effort weren't an issue, I would love an omelet with bell peppers, onions, mushrooms, sausage and cheese...heavy on the veggies...for breakfast.
• I can't say I really have a favorite lunch. Wraps with lettuce, tomatoes, some kind of meat, maybe a little spicy mustard, and a little cheese are good. Some days I like cottage cheese and mandarin oranges does the trick.
• Dinner is also something that I don't have a clear favorite food for. Time and, sadly, money influence dinner selections a lot. I love experimenting in the kitchen and I also love cooking some of the classics every now and then.
• As for food blogs, I have a few I read. One of my all time favorites is She's Becoming DoughMessTic. She's funny, seriously talented, and a really sweet person on top of it all. I don't know that I have it in me to write a food blog all the time but it might be cool to contribute to a group food blog.

So, tell me all about you...what new things have you tried and what are your favorite foods?

Celebrate with Me

Welcome to Day 5 of Calliope's blogging summer camp. I just squeaked in under the wire...another few minutes and it would have been Day 6. Sorry about being so late but I got shanghaied into teaching at Vacation Bible School at the last minute. Between staying up late on the 4th and teaching at vbs today, I've been dead to the world.

Our assignment today is to talk about what we prefer to do on our birthday. Around le casa de Cruz, what I'd prefer and what I usually get to do are two vastly different things. See, November and December are major family celebration months here. In a 21 day period, we have 3 birthdays, our anniversary, and Thanksgiving. In my fantasy world, I'd get to sleep in as late as I wanted and there would be no squabbling to wake me up. I'd wake up to a clean house (I'd say spotless but that ain't gonna happen even in my fantasies) and a lovely champagne brunch in bed. I would be free to read or create or shop all day long and my husband and I would get to wrap it up with a romantic dinner for two. Presents are nice but that isn't the big deal for me.

In reality, I usually get a lovely little family celebration sometimes in tandem with a kid party and occasionally alone. My mom or my family always makes sure I have a cake and I usually get a few nice gifts. On the really lucky years, my mom and dad entertain the kids so Vic and I can get a night out together. Honestly, I love my birthdays just the way they are and my fantasy birthday would be so foreign that it would probably seem a little cold to me. The chaos and noise and love of my family is the perfect birthday celebration for me.

Surprises In Life

Welcome to Day 4 of Calliope's blogging summer camp. Our assignment today is to talk about what has most surprised us about being an adult? What have we learned about ourselves through blogging?

When you are little, you have a very skewed view of what it's like to be an adult. I know I use to think being an adult meant you could do whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted...and, as we've all found out, that is so far from the truth. So, I guess you could say that was the first surprise I had about being an adult...that all this extra responsibility came along with all the freedom.

I was also surprised to find out how much like my mom I turned out to be. I will never forget the day I turned to a kid and I could hear my mother's words coming out of my mouth. It stunned me. Not that what I was saying was anything horrible...but, I just never thought I'd pick up the same phrases and responses the way I did.

I was also very surprised by what I ended up doing with my life. When I was younger, I was convinced I would have some kind of high powered career and just knew I would never, ever want to be a stay at home mom. Here I am, 41 years old, and not only am I not in a high powered career but I'm a stay at home mom and I love my life. I love being able to volunteer in schools. I love my kids knowing I will always be available for them. I can't imagine living my life any other way.

Another thing I've been surprised by is something I learned about myself through blogging. When I was younger, I never thought of myself as a writer. Now, not only do I acknowledge that I am a writer but I also have come to realize I am pretty good at it.

What has surprised you about life as an adult? Do you identify with any of the things I mentioned?

My Guilty Pleasures

Welcome to Day 3 of Calliope's blogging summer camp. Today, we're talking about our guilty pleasures. I'm not really sure if I can claim to have guilty pleasures because I don't feel bad or guilty about liking any of these things. However, there are things I absolutely love...

• I adore good chocolate...sinfully rich, absolutely decadent chocolate.
•  I love to read and can lose myself in books. I read everything from romances to biographies to history. If it's good, I read it.
• Give me a really good bottle of champagne and I'm a happy camper...pair it with some of those decadent chocolates from number 1 and I'm in heaven.
• I truly love to sleep in. The feeling you get when you gently wake up without kids yelling or alarms blaring is amazing. It's too bad it happens so infrequently.
• I LOVE shoes. I love flats and sandals and boots and sky high heels. If space and money weren't an issue, I would gladly have a walk in closet filled with with nothing but shoes.
• I really love high thread count sheets. They feel soooooo good on my freshly shaved legs.

What are some of your not so guilty pleasures?

High School Me

Calliope's Day 2 of blogging summer camp is the perfect topic for me. With my oldest son starting high school in the fall, it's had me thinking a lot about what I was like back in high school. I was much more reserved and kind of quiet in new situations. With groups I felt comfortable in, my louder, wilder side came out but most of the time I came across as the good girl.

I was involved in a ton of things. I was in Girl Scouts through high school. I earned the highest award in Girl Scouts, the gold award, part of the way through high school and was an assistant leader to a Brownie troop during my junior and senior years. In addition to Girl Scouts, I was involved in a bunch of school activities. I was part of the drama club. Drama  club was kind of a big step for me because I wasn't very comfortable getting up in front of people. I was far to concerned about what people would think of me to ever be a good actor at that age. I know I wasn't very good but I had a great time with it and one of our members is still acting today. I was also on the Flag Girl squad for two years which was a lot of fun. I rounded out my activities with being on the yearbook staff for two years and was the assistant editor my senior year. The really funny thing is that despite being able to write a kick ass paper for English class and despite being on the yearbook staff, I never thought of myself as being a writer. In fact, until recently, I never thought of myself as being a writer.

Even though I was involved in a million things during high school, the only times I ever really felt like I belonged was when I went away to summer camps. It's taken a number of years for me to truly become comfortable in my own skin but I really like who I've  become.

What were you like in high school? What groups did you participate in?

My Blogging Space

Welcome to 31 Days of Blog Juice courtesy of Calliope at Creating Motherhood. She says "Think of this as summer camp in the blogosphere. We’ve all been dropped off at a month-long camp with fantastic cabins and great wifi. Each night we gather at a looooooooong table over a yummy meal. And as the fireflies dance outside someone puts on some sweet sounding Bessie Smith and we talk about something. We get to know each other better."


Like all summer camps, this one has a schedule. Today's assignment is to show a photo, sketch, or dramatic rendering of the space where you normally blog. Here's mine in all it's messy glory...

This is also the chair I sit in when I'm crocheting, cross stitching, knitting, or repairing things. So, I have yarn and patterns and clothes waiting to be fixed and a stuffed animal with a hole all waiting for me to get to it. Even when the rest of the room gets cleaned, my chair and my corner rarely get neater than this.

If you want to join in on the fun, head on over to Calliope's and check out The Big List of Campers and add your name.