"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Sunday, November 14, 2010

A terrible, horrible, no good , very bad day

Last night, Saturday night, while we all slept peacefully, our sweet, wonderful, weird kitty Max died. Max was actually Joey's kitty and all the kids are devastated. Hell, I'm pretty damned torn up over it too. Even now, almost a day later, I can't type this or look at his picture without starting to cry. I know it may seem weird to some of you that I'm getting this upset over a kitty's death but my animals are all part of my family and an unexpected death hurts. I was a little concerned about Max on Saturday night because he was walking weird but I thought he had just injured his leg. Now, despite his young age, I think maybe he had a stroke. When I got up this morning, I found Max lying on the floor right in front of the food and water bowls. When I saw him so still, I knew immediately he was gone. See, Max was never still. He was full of energy and even when he snuggled up for some petting and love, there was an ear twitching or you could hear him purring. I knew without considering it that Joey would just be crushed and I didn't want him to see Max sprawled out there. I also knew I couldn't hide Max away from him. So, I found a box and a towel and put him in there like he was sleeping. It was so very hard to go in and tell Joey what had happened. Seeing Joey's pain was just as hard as knowing a loved pet was gone. Since Max died peacefully, I asked the kids if they wanted to see him. Marty wanted to see him but couldn't handle being to close. Joey and Gabe both did. In fact, Joey wanted one last chance to hold and pet Max and to say goodbye. He was so torn apart by losing his kitty but it was so important to him to be able to say goodbye and to take care of Max one last time. And Gabe, poor Gabe was a mess.  I know he was aware of things when my FIL passed away 2 years ago but, for the first time, Gabe fully grasped what death means and it was so hard.


There were very few things I was glad about this morning but, there were a few. I was and am eternally thankful that Gabe and Joey did not get out of bed before me as they frequently do on weekends. I would not have wanted Joey to find his kitty. I was also very thankful that today was Joey's family party. It gave Joey something to look forward to despite him tearfully saying "I just don't feel like it's right to be happy or have fun today." The party also meant my parents were coming up and, that gave me an opportunity to help distract Joey from his grieving. See, Max came from my parents house (his mom was a stray that got dropped there) and there just happened to be a few kittens at their house currently who needed a home. Joey desperately wanted another cat immediately, not to replace Max but to give him a warm, fuzzy, kitty to love and pet. So, my parents brought Butterball up with them when they came for Joey's party...
So, although the tears still come and we all wish Max was still here with us, this cute little fuzzy guy is helping to distract us.

And, to add insult to an already shitty day, my BIL's father died this morning too. Due to a convoluted and screwed up family history, my sister Keri's husband John only found his father 3 years ago. Very recently, John's dad became extremely ill and John had flown out to California  to arrange for his dad to come back home with him. Sadly, John's dad died before he could ever make the trip east.  My heart is just breaking for Keri, John and their girls.

19 comments:

Stacie said...

Oh Kristin, I am so sorry for all of the loss. I can totally understand why Max's death would upset your entire family, too. My kitties are part of the family, also. I would be devastated if lost them. Hugs.

Sending love to your sister and her husband's family today, as well.

Mrs. Gamgee said...

Losing a pet is so very hard. I'm so sorry. Sending hugs and much love to your family. It's good that you guys went ahead with Joey's party... if only to have something else to focus on for the rest of the day.

Also sending prayers for your sis and her dh.

Vee said...

I am sorry for your losses.
I too lost my kitty last year and I still miss him terribly, he had a wonderful character and was part of the family.

I am glad you had all those wonderful distractions.

Alex said...

I'm so very sorry for your losses. I completely agree - losing a pet is losing a family member. I think you handles Max's death very well with the children. It's important that they are a part of this. I'm so very sorry.

April said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of Max. I understand how it hurts as we lost a dog 3 years ago and it hurts us still as well. I'm sending lots of hugs to you and you family.

I'm also sending hugs to your sister and husban's family as well.

Sheliza said...

Aww Kristin so sorry to hear of all this sadness ((hugs))

Tillie said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Max...it was hard on us when our sweet Kelly passed.

Sending lots of prayers y'alls way {as well as for your sister and her hubby}

*hugs*

Once A Mother said...

oh Kristin. So much heartbreak to deal with, I am so so sorry. I know how heartbreaking it is when a pet leaves, and think that you handled it the right way from beginning to end. What a loving momma you are to put the kitty in a box and make him look asleep and then give your kids a chance to say goodbye. I can only imagine how hard it was to be so strong through that for them. I think both of those distractions sound really wonderful.


I am also so sorry to hear of the loss of your BIL's father. :(
Your family is in my thoughts.

Calliope said...

I am so so sorry for your loss. Losing a kitty is so upsetting and I will be thinking of all of you.

Lavender Luz said...

Awww....Kristin and family. I'm sorry for your loss.

Abiding also with your sister and her family.

XO

Suzy, Not a Fertile Myrtle said...

Oh I am so sorry for your loss. Max sounds like he was quite the character and will be missed.

Pets are a part of our family. We miss them just as we miss family members who pass on.

((hugs))

Admin said...

Oh no! I'm so sorry :( hope things get better...

Kakunaa said...

I cannot imagine what a rough day you must have had. I am so sorry.

Barb said...

I'm so sorry Kristen. :(

battynurse said...

I'm so sorry about Max and all the other loss as well. Hugs to you and your entire family.

JJ said...

I am so, so sorry :( Its tough loosing a beloved pet--a true member of the family.

Meari said...

Awww, I'm sad for you all. :(

AnnaMarie said...

Oh that was a very bad day! I'm so sorry to hear about little Max and your BIL's father.

Quiet Dreams said...

I'm so sorry for your family's loss. Many hugs to all of you.