"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Monday, January 05, 2009

My New Year's Meditations

I've been thinking a lot about what I want in this upcoming year. Most of what I want is quite simple. Some of what I want are things I can work on, things I can strive for. Some of what I want are things I will have to pray for but they aren't things I can control.

I hope and pray my extended family have good health during the New Year. To that end, we will do our part. We will try to plan, eat, and prepare healthy meals and exercise regularly (at least getting out and walking). There will also be a fair amount of pray involved in this wish. My BIL is struggling against Muscular Dystrophy. He was blessed to have an extremely long time between diagnosis and this level of complications (he has reached the point where he needs to use a scooter although he ignores that fact) but no one wants to see someone they love suffer. And, my husband is struggling against Type 2 diabetes. Before he was diagnosed, Vic had lost bout 80 lbs. He was feeling good and looking good. Then he was diagnosed. UGH. Many of the drugs used to treat Type 2 diabetes have the side effect of causing weight gain (WTF?!?!?!) and, while many people never have the side effects hit them, Vic has experienced all the side effects of the meds and the diabetes. What is frustrating to both him and his doctor is that one week, his blood sugar is under control and the next it has gone all haywire. Nothing, not even diet, will have changed between the two weeks but that doesn't seem to matter. We are hoping there is a solution in sight soon.

I also want to make sure there isn't a single day during the New Year when a friend or family member has to wonder about how I feel about them. Losing my father-in-law this last fall really drove home just how precious our time with each other is and I don't want to waste any of it. To this end, I pray that God will help me be able to overlook or get past any petty differences there may have been in the past and help me see solutions for future problems that satisfy both parties without comprimising individual ethics.

I hope I can strike the right balance between enforcing rules with my kids and being a fun, supportive parent. I want to enjoy my time with my kids...to appreciate the miracle of who they are and the wonder of what they are becoming. I also want my boys to be well-mannered, honorable, self-confident young men. For them to develop into the type of people I want them to be, I know I have to teach them about following rules, enforce household routines and rules, and help/enforce them exploring their spirituality. It is soemtimes very difficult to strike a balance between all the roles a parent must fill and I pray to find the wisdom and strength to do it all.

I am also hoping the New Year will bring us at least a pregnancy if not a new baby. Yeah, we have to do our part (woohooo!!!) but there is still a fair amount of luck and miracle involved. I will certainly survive if we don't achieve this goal. I have a wonderful husband and 3 incredible boys. However, soemthing deep within me craves a 4th baby.

I also hope to find the time and energy to complete all the projects I want to complete this year. I have many charity projects I want to do in tandem with all the personal projects and I frequently wonder where I will find the time to get it all done. Do you think a prayer of "Please God can I have an extra day each week would work?"

May all of you be blessed during the New Year.


Lori said...

Blessing of a new child is always exciting. I enjoyed reading your list of hopes and dreams for the new year. And you are right we each have to do our part.

Happy New Year.

Days like These! said...

This was refreshing to read. I really hope your husband finds the comfort he needs during this time of transition with his meds and his body accepting the healing process.

Your BIL sounds feisty. I can see him now just doing his own thing telling people to get out of his way. I love that he's a go getter and won't let it stop him.

As far as your list of goals, sounds like you have a plan and you know you can achieve them.

The baby part, OH YES!!!!!!!!! how exciting! I'm rooting for your family.

Blessings abundantly to your family!

Margaret said...

What a great post. And a double blessing for me. I got to read this AND got a card from you today.

Thank you, my friend.

MiPa said...

Praying for the things you want my friend. How I understand the need of that balance between rule enforcer and fun parent! Praying for Vic as he struggles with his diabetes. And definitely praying that there will be a need for a new baby quilt soon. ((hugs))

NHStitcher said...

I hope things brighten up and go your way!
I can totaly relate on the diabetes thing!


MrsSpock said...

Has your husband tried the Byetta injection? It is supposed to help a lot with glycemic control. Most insurance will cover it if he is already on an oral medication like Metformin. Might be worth bringing up with the doc...

Martha said...

Blessings to you in the New Year, thank you for sharing your dreams.