"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Friday, January 09, 2009

Dodging the Close One: a King Street Players Production

Joey as SWA (Sir Whines Alot)
Kristin as EM (in this case - not so Evil Mom)
with an occasional mention of Vic as PD (Psycho Dad)

Evil Mom and Psycho Dad run a household that believes in using real names for body parts and answering all reasonable questions kids have without giving too much information for their age. However, like all parents we dread having to answer the BIG questions before an age we deem appropriate.

SWA: Hey mom, you said you were going to go through Gabe's old toys and maybe give someof them away, right?
EM: Yes, I did.
SWA: Are you giving away the exersaucer too?
EM wondering where this is going: I probably will. Even if we have another baby, that will give Grandma Karin something to buy.
SWA: Who are you going to give it to?
EM: One of the ladies who works for daddy just became a Grandma. Her daughter is a single mom. So, we thought we would help out by passing on some of the overload of stuff we have.
SWA: How did that happen? How did she become a single mom?
EM: It just did. She mad some bad decisions, got pregnant, and never got married. That makes her a single mom.
SWA: Well how did she get pregnant?
EM thinks Oh fuck...he's only 8. How do I give him a good answer without giving the whole talk?
EM: That's something that happens when a man and a woman think they love each other. The have a relationship and sometimes a baby is made.
SWA: You mean with medicine or something?
EM thinks SWA has heard more of her infertility conversations than she realized.
EM: No, not with medicine. Women make something called aggs and men make something called sperm. When an egg and sperm come together, a baby is made.
EM think Oh please God, don't let him ask how they come together.
SWA: Ok. What happens if the egg splits in two?
EM breathes a sigh of relief: That is when identical twins are created.
SWA: Cool

What away to start the day. After having this wonderful conversation with SWA...educational without being too educational...EM lived up to her name by reducing SWA to tears by insisting he wear a heavy coat because it was only 32 degrees outside. That gave EM two things to celebrate instead of just one.

***Dear SMCs...the bad choice comment isn't a blanket statement. I just think 8 yrs old is a little young to understand the differences in this girls situation and yours. (Thanks princessoftides for pointing out my oversight).


~Tammy said...

That is funny. Oh, how I used to dread those conversations with the girls.

Cara said...

I'm still dreading! For a loooooong while. Mostly becuase you KNOW the Comedian will shrug it off (disconcerting) and Bear will need a visual diagram (exponentially more disconcerting!)

ha! You got of easy!

princessoftides said...

Oh, don't you love kids?! Kudos, Kristin, for your bravery in not turning to the cabbage patch or stork!! I hope I'm as courageous when the time comes :)

As a side point, though, at some point you might want to explain to him that some people can become single moms without making bad decisions. Unless of course you disagree, which is OK. Assuming you don't disagree, it would help take a little bit of heat off children of SMCs if their mommies aren't automatically assumed to have done something bad or wrong. (Sorry, just a little sensitive on that count ;)

Days like These! said...

I love it.

Whew, dodged a bullet this time and I know you're preparing yourself for another one. He's only 8. He's still growing and his mind is maturing daily! You know it's coming. Gotta love his curiosity.

Hi you dern? :)

Another Dreamer said...

Nice job dodging the bullet!

MrsSpock said...

These posts are some of my favorites that you write. My mother just came right out with it when I was 6, and boy oh boy, was I SHOCKED.