"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

A little of this, a little of that...

My dear friend Monnie is getting ready for IVF#6. Can y'all head over there and wish her luck and offer your support?

I need twice as many hours in the day to get everything done that I want to get done.

My friend Rys has a great piece on her blog about how the fucktards at the London Sun Times are trying to blame global warming on obesity. Go read it.

I have my gift all ready for OMG You Rock Day and now I'm questioning whether its a good choice. I have a bad tendency to second guess myself that way.

Crazy/stoopid people keep my husband employed. You would not believe the shit people call 911 about. These are real examples. Identities are withheld to protect the terminally stoopid.
  1. I need to go to the store but they are saying its not safe to drive because of the snow. Is it safe to drive to XYZ store? What, you think I can magically click my heels together and make it safe for you to drive....what a moron.
  2. What time does the UNC game get over? Check the damned TV schedule. That's what they are for.
  3. I'm traveling to Washington, DC. Can you tell me if there are any road problems? Its 911 not a fucking travel agency.
  4. They are here again? Who is here ma'am? The aliens are here in my living room. Ma'am, can you tell me what they look like? They are short and green and naked. Naked ma'am? Yes, when they transport into my house their clothes get left behind. Bwahahahahahahaha
And, last but definitely not least, MEL'S BOOK IS COMING!!! Got an email from Amazon estimating delivery on April 28th or 29th. Wooohooooo!


JW Moxie said...

I got my happy email yesterday about Mel's book. I can't wait!

Those calls are hysterical!

Now that I know who my OMGYRD partner is, I have to spend some time finding the perfect gift before I send it! I can't wait to do some shopping this weekend!

Carrie27 said...

I can't believe people would call for those reasons. You need to post more of these, they are too funny!

Cece said...

I have a friend who is a size 2 who eats loads more than I do. Stupid people.

GeekByMarriage said...

Maybe the callers are dyslexic. 411 not 911!

Shannon said...

Those calls are hilarious! lol

The Mom said...

Love the 911 calls!!


Anonymous said...

I'd have to ask for a more anatomically precise description of the aliens. ;)

Alana said...

Catching up after a few days away...

Your garden is going to be amazing, congrats on your budding sprouts!

911---sighs. SO sad the things people call about that are non-emergency related.

I'm excited for Mel's book too! :)

Beautiful Mess said...

I am SO excited about OMGYRD! I must go shopping. I know what my buddy would like *I hope*, so I'm not TOO worried about what to get her. Damn stupid 911 callers. REALLY! there are people out there that are THAT stupid...so scary! Love the title of your post today ;o)

Lollipop Goldstein said...

So as the post was opening from Reader, my eye caught on Washington and I heart jumped because I thought you were coming here. My disappointment when I read the rest of the post :-) Sniff.

Smitty76 said...

Hey! Thanks for visiting my blog. :)

Those calls are too funny. Reminds me of the woman in Florida (I think?) who called 911 because the restaurant didn't put enough shrimp in her fried rice (LOL).


Anonymous said...

lol! those calls are just to funny .. some poeple are unbelievable!

Itoo am stressing over my OMG you rock day gift ... I'm sure you made a great choice though :)