"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Love Stinks

It's a really good thing I didn't have plans for any adult fun last night because his actions would have stopped that in its tracks. I mean, I love my hubby but there are simply some things a woman can't get past. Last night, after the kids were all safely ensconced in their beds for quite a while, Vic and I headed to bed. After we crawled into bed, we were laying there snuggled up and were talking about the day like we usually do. That's when it happened. That's when the moment of passion killing stinkitude happened. That's when Vic let loose a fart of epic proportions. It truly was a fart that harkened back to Vic's firehouse days and the farting contests firefighters have. The stinkitude of this fart managed to worm its way past my congestion and had me coughing and gagging. Truly, if you were another male, that *fart was awe inspiring.

After his knee injury, Vic would claim his theme song was Up On Cripple Creek by The Band

Now, I think it needs to be changed to Love Stinks by the J Geils Band



*Can any of you explain why men are proud of their stinky farts and why they like to gross each other out with stinky smells?

17 comments:

areyoukiddingme said...

Men are different than women. That is one of those differences. There is no why. ;)

WiseGuy said...

Ha Ha Ha....I would not know the answer to that....and I sure hope Vic has not read this post ...yet...

:-)

Sandy said...

I never thought that was true of Darin until one day he and brother-in-law began comparing notes. Now I KNOW it's on the Y chromosome. And now I have two of them in the house!

chicklet said...

ROFL. I'm horrified by my stinky ones, and while my husband's not proud, he does laugh and laugh and laugh. Buggers!

battynurse said...

Hahahaha!!! Men are so strange. My ex was always so proud when he managed to fart in some guy he worked with's presence, they would have farting contests. Yet when I did it he thought it was gross. Girls didn't do that.

Sheliza said...

*sighs* men!

Barb said...

Nice. And I commiserate. My Hub did this last night during a very sweet conversation about the baby.. with his head on my tummy... repeatedly even AFTER asking him to stop! And he just giggled. sigh.

Barb said...

Maybe it harkens back to really early days? You know.. how male animals like to be stinky and scent mark? We could let go of that now! haha

Lavender Luz said...

Not only THAT, but I bet your sons are also becoming fart-feuders.

Gah. Men.

stitcheranon said...

Actually, my husband never, ever farts in front of me. Not at all...but I have it on good authority that he is up there with the best when he and my sons have fart competitions lol.
I have to say, I am the culprit...only because he is so prim and proper about it all and he gets really shocked EVERY time. It makes me laugh so much. Shhhh dont tell anyone though lol

Meari said...

I have no answer to that question!

MrsSpock said...

Mr S farted in front of me on our 4th date- a huge, loud, nas-tee one. He owes it to my experience as a nurse and high tolerance for foul things that I am still with him today.

Quiet Dreams said...

Wow. I really thought you were going to say he did something else...not sure what, but I was ready for some marital strife. Though that fart sounds pretty strife-y (for you, at least).

Beautiful Mess said...

OH JEEZ! That sounds JUST like Dirty! I totally don't get it, I'm baffled! *sigh* boys and their bodily functions...WTF?!
*HUGS*

Once A Mother said...

ick... haha i love your description though "passion killing stinkitude" i don't know why a) men are so rank sometimes, and b) they don't know what a turn off it is to gag in their presence. I hope the air has, umm, cleared since then.

I wanted to respond, too, to a message that you left me A LONG time ago, I think it was you, but now can't find it, asking if DGIHN would still accept things after the holidays, and the answer is yes. We don't have any deadline set up if you wanted to, I think you had said, make something. If you weren't the one to send this msg, sorry, but I think I remember it being you. Okay, long enough message, gonna end it here. :)

Soralis said...

If you can't beat 'em! :)

Stacie said...

Lol. I don't get the fart thing either, but I do know that the fascination starts early. Sigh.