"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Friday, February 05, 2010

Limerick for my Thug Sista

There once was a superhero named Kym
who partnered with Miss W, her IM
They made me laugh 'til I cried
and my son nearly died*
all from a convo started on a whim

I know this isn't the best limerick around but I had to come up with a tribute to the wonderful, whacked out sense of humor possessed by my thug sista Kym. With loving tribute and the earnest desire to share the laughs, I now present the conversation that inspired this post (she blogged it here)...
Skype chat with Miss W, my intended mother*

Miss W: I have a question for you.

Me: k

Miss W: Do you think Hagrid is infertile?

Me: Hagrid as in Harry Potter Hagrid?

Miss W: Yes, that Hagrid. And isn't it sad? He works with children, uses (scary) animals as surrogate children...

Me: hmm...

Miss W: I mean...ok, if you cross species, say a horse and a donkey -- infertile mule. A lion and a tiger -- infertile liger. So a giant and a human...

Me: I wouldn't think so. I think that in the scope of the books, he didn't get the chance to have kids. I always imagined that after the big battle at Hogwarts, he and the Beaubatons' headmistress (whatever her name was) hooked up, got married, and had little giant babies, lol.

Miss W: I think Madame Maxine is the only person he could have ever married.

Me: yup

Miss W: Because um...I think he would have killed a human female if he had sex with her.

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA

Miss W: Now my next question...

Me: well, maybe a muggle female. maybe a magic female could have magic wanded her vag: "VAGINUS MAXIMUS!"

Miss W: See, now you are going in the right direction with my next question. Hagrid's dad was a wizard. His mom a giant. HOW THE HELL DID THAT WORK?

Me: HAHAHAHAHA

Miss W: I mean, I suppose it's much better than the other way around.

Me: ERECTUS PENIUS MAXIMUS!

Miss W: OMG -- that is exactly what I thought! Some kind of engorgement charm. Otherwise? I think he was just off by himself wanking somewhere when a giantess picked him up and inserted him tampon style.

Me: I am seriously losing my shit laughing over here. HILARIOUS.

Miss W: haha

Me: I am sooooooooooooo blogging this.

*of embarassment

14 comments:

Kymberli said...

How do you do it? How do you always manage to do a sneak attack and brighten my day when I least expect it?

I'm losing it down here.

I. Love. You.

JuliaS said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I'm almost ashamed that it never occurred to me . . .

*Tanyetta* said...

***ERECTUS PENIUS MAXIMUS!***

LOVE IT!

Lynn said...

That is the funniest darn convo I've seen in ages! Love the limerick as well :D

Made my day!

MrsSpock said...

I am so glad I am not the only one who wondered how Hagrid's parents got it on...lol

Quiet Dreams said...

I actually had also wondered that about Hagrid's parents...guess there's a lot of us out there with that kind of mind. :)

Flying Monkeys said...

OMG! That is hilarious!!

battynurse said...

OMG. That is seriously funny. Especially the part about inserting him tampon style.

Another Dreamer said...

Bwhahahahahahahahaha! LMAO.

On a side note... I'm glad I wasn't the only one wondering about how Hagrid could possibly have even been brought into existence in the first place, LOL.

cysteract said...

BWAAAAHAHAHAHA... just back from an awful interview and I needed a laugh.

Your Awsome
Thanks !

Mama-Beans said...

Holy Cripes, my belly HURTS!!! That was AWESOME!

Lavender Luz said...

Can't. Stop. Laughing. At the whole lot of you.

JJ said...

Very, very fun! Love your creativity!

WiseGuy said...

*blush*...


Good job!