"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Monday, February 15, 2010

Happy Belated Valentine's Day

artwork by Joey Cruz
When I was watching the news yesterday, they were talking to a couple who had been together for 59 years and married for 54 years. When they asked the husband for the secret behind the longevity of their relationship, he said "You need to be willing to apologize even when you don't think you are really wrong." Do you think he is right? What do you think the secret to a healthy, long-lasting relationship?

This got me thinking about Vic's and my relationship and how much we've been through and how we are still going strong. While we haven't been together nearly as long as that couple, we have a solid relationship. I think there are two reasons our relationship is so strong...we married our best friends and we COMMUNICATE. I can't stress enough how wonderful it is to be married to your best friend. Not only do Vic and I love each other, but we genuinely like each other. He always makes me laugh. We love hanging out with each other. Now, that doesn't mean we like the exact same things, but we do enjoy a lot of similar activities and are both willing to do things the other person enjoys. And, we can and do talk about everything from politics to sex to money to history to (oh hell, I could go on and on but you get the idea). I firmly believe this openness and absolute trust we have in each other is why we made it through infertility with a relationship that was even stronger than it had been to begin with. What do you do to keep your relationship strong?


Lori Lavender Luz said...

First of all, I love the image.

My parents taught us this: if each person does two-thirds the work, you'll just about break even.

We tend to underestimate what another person does and overestimate what we ourselves do. So if each gives 67%, you'll come out 50-50.

Fertility Chick said...

First, love the artwork! That's one talented artist!

This is a great post. I have to reiterate what you've said - communication has been such a key in our relationship. I feel that as the years go on, we communicate better and I think we've both learned how much communication can enhance a relationship. We also really and truly like each other too. Yes, there's more than that - there is a level of love and intimacy in our relationship but there is also a deep seeded friendship between us that I think has helped us particularly in the most challenging of times.

I won't rattle on - but this is a really great post - great food for thought.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

I like Lori's advice. And I'll add that marriage is about throwing away the games and not expecting your partner to be a mind reader. Which is to say that I wholly support your advice to communicate, communicate, communicate. Just stumbled this.

..Soo.See.. said...

Lori's advice is good! Will have to take that along w/ me.

And to high-five you on the communicate and bestfriends, I'm here to do so! HunHun and I talk about it and 'make peace' when we argue, even if we still disagree. We also keep these things to ourselves and don't show others when we're at odds b/c then it half-invites others to give 'us' their opinion and advice which can sway us in a different direction than where we'd end up, if we worked it together and alone.

Great post! and Awesome art!!

Meari said...

This is the type of relationship I stress to the single men out there. Do you think they get it? LOL

I'm glad to hear yours is fantastic. Gives me a glimmer of hope. :)