"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Thursday, December 09, 2010

My poor, poor boy...

Oh man, last night my heart was just breaking for Joey. On the way back from TKD, he was looking sad and I asked if he was ok. When I asked him, he said no and started crying about how much he missed Max. He then asked me what word I was using when I had explained why I thought Max had died. I was explaining that I said I thought he had a congenital defect in his brain that caused him to have a stroke basically a problem he was born with. Well, he managed to get his emotions under control and, when we got home, we put the lights on the tree. Then, around bedtime, Joey was having a "missing Max" moment right and ended up sobbing and sobbing.  Then he said, "Mom, two nights before he died, I was holding Max and bouncing him in my arms. When he jumped down, he hit his head hard on the shelf. I think I caused Max's death." My poor dear boy.  He has such a gentle soul and would never, ever willingly hurt someone and he's been thinking he contributed to his cat's death. That just breaks my heart.  I assured him that the type of bump a cat would have gotten from jumping out of someone's arms would never cause damage to the brain. Joey then said "But what if he did have a congenital problem...maybe that bump could have caused it to be a problem." I reassured him that to do that kind of damage to a cat;s brain that there would have probably been external damage.  I also told him that the fact that Max misjudged a jump so badly probably meant something was already going wrong and we just didn't realize it. Joey said he still felt like it was his fault. I asked him if he had regularly played with Max like that and he said yes. I also asked him if Max usually liked that play and if he had ever fallen or hit his head when Joey played with him like that before this time.  He said no. So, I told Joey that what he did caused no harm to Max and that his playing with Max probably made him feel loved and taken care of. Joey was still crying pretty badly so I asked him if hearing this all from Vic would help (because two people telling you something always makes it more legitimate). Hearing the same reassurances from Vic seemed to help and he calmed down enough to sleep.  I feel so bad for my poor sweet boy.

15 comments:

CreoleInDC said...

Aw Joey...

He is such a gentle heart that I'm not surprised this has been weighing heavy on that baby.

Kristi aka "Judy" said...

awww, hugs for you both!

stitcheranon said...

aw...well now he can hear it from three people. I work a lot with animals and the Max's problem was a bit like faulty wiring: and it could have happened at any time and was not likely to be because of a bumped head. Instead of feeling sad, feel pleased that Max has had so much fun with Joey and enjoyed his game.
Hope this helps Joey. Honestly: you are not to blame: no one is: it is just one of those things and it sounds to me like Max has had a lovely life, all thanks to you and the care you gave him xxx

Another Dreamer said...

Awww :( Hugs.

Suzy, Not a Fertile Myrtle said...

Poor fella. Hopefully he feels better now. That's tough.

Kakunaa said...

Awww, poor kiddo :( I am so glad you guys were able to reassure him. It's so hard to explain sometimes. HUGS to you all.

Vee said...

Poor Joey. Hugs to you both.

Mrs. Gamgee said...

Oh poor sweetie!

Sending many hugs and prayers for peace and healing for his heart.

Chris said...

Hugs to Joey! Would it help if he did some research on congenital disease? Maybe seeing it would help.

rys said...

While I was reading this I had the exact same thoughts on Max's condition as you did, Kristin. My heart aches for Joey, he's such a gentle sweet guy.

'Murgdan' said...

Awwwww...that is heartbreaking.

battynurse said...

Ohhhhhh. Poor Joey. It's so sad to lose your pet but to think you may have contributed to it can feel so horrible. I'm sorry he was feeling badly. I think you did a great job of explaining how it happened.

Dora said...

Oh, poor Joey! What a sweetheart. Max was a lucky kitty to have a boy who loved him so much.

Quiet Dreams said...

You have a sweet boy with such a tender heart.

Meari said...

Awww... poor kiddo.