You may not know the name but, I can guarantee you know the disease. You all know a person who sings along with the radio at the top of their lungs and lyrics be damned...something is coming out of their mouth. I first heard the term chronic lyricosis while listening to The Big Show with John Boy and Billy and thought it was the best and funniest term to describe the continual mangling of lyrics. I've had a particularly bad case of it lately. The local oldies station, 100.7 The River, has been playing Blinded By The Light by Manfred Mann's Earth Band a LOT lately. I know the lyrics, really I do. But every single time I hear it, instead of hearing "Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night", I hear "Blinded by the light, revved up like a douche, another runner in the night" . Now, I have no idea why my brain insists on processing those lyrics that way. As far as I know, douches can't be revved up unless they've invented a motorized douche (oh please God no...but, I guess that would be a way to insure that clean, fresh feeling) and I am certain douches have nothing to do with runners in the night.
This disease is rampant. We've all heard the stories of people singing "Jose, can you see" instead of "Oh, say can you see". Well, according to The Archive of Misheard Lyrics, people have mistakenly sung "Oh Canada, we stand on cars and freeze" instead of "Oh Canada, we stand on guard for thee". We even see chronic lyricosis in movies and tv shows. I totally lost it when we were watching Malcolm in the Middle today and Reese, one of Malcolm's brothers was trying to sing Amazing Grace. Instead of singing "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now am found, Was blind, but now I see", Reese sang "Amazing race, how sweet the taste, that saved a wrench for me. I once was in the lost and found, was blind but found my keys". But (heh heh, she said butt), my all time favorite case of chronic lyricosis resulted in REM's lyrics "That's me in the corner, That's me in the spotlight" being heard as "Let's pee in the corner, Let's pee in the spotlight".
Come on, time to fess up. What's your all time funniest chronic lyricosis incident? It can be self committed or overheard.