"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Monday, September 14, 2009

Chronic Lyricosis - do you have it?

You may not know the name but, I can guarantee you know the disease. You all know a person who sings along with the radio at the top of their lungs and lyrics be damned...something is coming out of their mouth. I first heard the term chronic lyricosis while listening to The Big Show with John Boy and Billy and thought it was the best and funniest term to describe the continual mangling of lyrics. I've had a particularly bad case of it lately. The local oldies station, 100.7 The River, has been playing Blinded By The Light by Manfred Mann's Earth Band a LOT lately. I know the lyrics, really I do. But every single time I hear it, instead of hearing "Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night", I hear "Blinded by the light, revved up like a douche, another runner in the night" . Now, I have no idea why my brain insists on processing those lyrics that way. As far as I know, douches can't be revved up unless they've invented a motorized douche (oh please God no...but, I guess that would be a way to insure that clean, fresh feeling) and I am certain douches have nothing to do with runners in the night.

This disease is rampant. We've all heard the stories of people singing "Jose, can you see" instead of "Oh, say can you see". Well, according to The Archive of Misheard Lyrics, people have mistakenly sung "Oh Canada, we stand on cars and freeze" instead of "Oh Canada, we stand on guard for thee". We even see chronic lyricosis in movies and tv shows. I totally lost it when we were watching Malcolm in the Middle today and Reese, one of Malcolm's brothers was trying to sing Amazing Grace. Instead of singing "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now am found, Was blind, but now I see", Reese sang "Amazing race, how sweet the taste, that saved a wrench for me. I once was in the lost and found, was blind but found my keys". But (heh heh, she said butt), my all time favorite case of chronic lyricosis resulted in REM's lyrics "That's me in the corner, That's me in the spotlight" being heard as "Let's pee in the corner, Let's pee in the spotlight".

Come on, time to fess up. What's your all time funniest chronic lyricosis incident? It can be self committed or overheard.


Lynn said...

OMG! I have rolled with laughter at this post! The Hubs and I discuss this ALL THE TIME! There are so many songs that the lyrics are misheard on and both of us have been culprits. I'll provide examples.

Me - You know the song "Bringing in the Sheaves, Bringing in the Sheaves, We shall come rejoicing, Bringing in the Sheaves"? Yeah, I heard that as "Bringing in the Sheep". And the song "Send in the Clowns"? For years I thought this song was entitled "Cindy the Clown". LOL!

Hubs - In the Carly Simon song "You're So Vain" near the end there is a line that says "Some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend, wife of a close friend. You're so vain....". Well, Hubs heard this as "Someone who would smile or the wife of a postman, wife of a postman. You're so vain...."! And a song that was popular several years ago in England "That's What I Go to School For", Hubs originally heard as "That's What a Goat is Cool For" :D

Very funny post! A+

Andrea said...

My misheard lyric was so common (I guess?) that someone actually made a parody song with those lyrics.

ACDC - Dirty Deeds (Done dirt cheap) as Dirty deeds (done with sheep)

Here's a URL:

A Mom in Jacksonville, FL said...

Catching up...

Loved your 9/11 tribute.

And your "Knitting Circle" review made me want to go out and buy the book!

The Labor Day/museum pics looked like you had a grand time!

Your knife-sliced hand---OUCH and thank goodness you didn't do major damage to your hand.

Now for the fun... Chronic Lyricosis, I LOVE it!

One---DH and I always sing, "Hold me close now, Tony Danza. Count the head lice on the highway," (instead of Elton John's "Hold me close now, Tiny Dancer. Count the headlights on the highway.")

Two---My younger sister thought that Billy Joel's "This is the time to remember, 'cause it will not last forever" was "this is the time to remember, Cousin Wilma lives forever."

How fun! :)

battynurse said...

Oh gosh. I know I have it but I'd have to think about that for a while to remember some of the really bad ones. The blinded by the light one is pretty much a given. It always sounds like douche.

JuliaS said...

My kids - majorly afflicted with lyricosis, the most memorable being Queen's "We Are the Champions". I even included it in a blog post a couple years back!

Desperate Mothering

"We are the chickens (x2), no time for woosters (sic), 'cuz we are the chickens - of the world!"

They've done some funny things with some Styx songs too . . . but I can't recall the particulars! :0)

Velda said...

can't think of any, but I'm sure there were many lol...one of them was an REO speedwagon song, but it's too early in the morning for me to even consider thinking lol...

By the way, I think I'm the Queen carrier for that disease lol...

Hey do you have Bonnie0965's and Pauline's (NZ) email address? It's her birthday today and I need to reach her :)

WiseGuy said...

Guilty as Charged, Your Honour!

There was a song called - Cotton-Eyed Joe! And the tune was catcy, so I hummed it on and on...with completely different and stupid lyrics than the original.


niobe said...

I once did a post about a similar topic and got some hilarious answers.

One of the best was the person who thought the song went: I wanna rock and roll all night/ And part of every day. (instead of "and party every day")

Which made a certain amount of sense. Because you have to sleep sometime, right?

nancy said...


The best case of it was a friend of mine who was singing, at full volume, that song by sheryl crow "All I want to do, is have some fun" ... But she was singing it, in a club, "All I want to do, is house on fire!" It didn't even make sense and we all died of laughter!

Aunt Becky said...

That would have to be 24-06-24, which I thought was a locker combination. It's not, btw. In case you were wondering.

Anonymous said...

I love the chronic lyricosis joke on that show! "Hurricane love song" instead of "Heard it in a love song"...

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