For those of you who aren't married, I need to remind you that men find it funny to blame their flatulence on others...preferably children or four legged creatures who can't deny the passing of said gas. While you are dating or newly ensconced in a household together, men try to behave like civilized creatures. That all goes out the window when you've been married long enough to have a child or two.
Now, to set the scene...picture a bedroom (door closed) with a man stretched out on the bed and the woman exiting the bathroom after brushing her teeth before bed....
From the direction of the man...BRRRRRAAAAPPPPP...followed by a horrendous cloud of gas
Wife: Damn honey...that really stinks.
Hubby (in best Tim Taylor/Home Improvement voice):Uh...wasn't me?!?
Wife: Then who was it?
Hubby: It was Joely (our dog).
Wife: Um, dear, the door is closed and she isn't in here.
Hubby (still using Tim Taylor/Home Improvement voice): Oooh, I meant Joey. His butt was sticking out from under the covers and he let one rip. The fart wafted across the room, down to the floor and under our door.
Wife: The we would have only smelled it and not heard it.
Hubby (still using Tim Taylor/Home Improvement voice): Didn't you know he was *fartriloquist (blend of fart and ventriloquist)?
Wife: Bwahahahahahaha...I can NOT believe you said that!
And with that, a new word enters our lexicon!
*fartriloquist - noun - a person who performs or is skilled in fartriloquism. (coined by Vic Cruz on 8/18/08)
fartiloquism - noun - the art or practice of farting in such a manner that the sound of the fart does not appear to come from the farter but from another source.