"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Monday, January 31, 2011

B.O.B. meets boy

I'm your host for this post. I'm here to make you laugh or smile at least. I'm Jen from In One Ear. My blog is supposedly family friendly, but I think I fit in better here. I am a pervert. I have a wicked sense of humor, and well, what you see is what you get. I can't post half the stuff I tell my good friend Kristin because people read my blog that would absolutely flip. So, I'm here.

This story is about *B.O.B. meeting my boy...I'd tell you his age, but that would make you laugh harder (ok, he's almost 14). My kids have warped senses of humor as well and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Last night my husband, Phil aka George Clooney....seriously, he's hot (editor's note added...Phil is seriously hot), was cleaning the drawers in our room. He threw something on the bed and I didn't bother checking to see what it was until in walks the boy. The boy sits down, picks up B.O.B. and says "Hey mom, what's this?" "Um, a massager?" He then turns it on and rubs in up and down his arm..."Weird massager" I'm pretty sure I turned a couple shades of red, but he really is convinced it's a massager, for how much longer, I don't know. So, the Boy met B.O.B., hubby got a good laugh about it, and I got the hubby back really good. I put B.O.B. in his jacket pocket. It's going to get cold later in the week, and he's going to get a surprise. I'm wondering if I should get one of those travel sized lubes and really have fun with it?

*B.O.B. = battery operated boyfriend = vibrator


T Lee said...

Hahahah, oh dear. And I say add the lube- what's the point in getting even if you're not going to do it like you mean it!

Lavender Luz said...

The Lillian Vernon catalog said it was a massager and if it's in print, you can believe it.

Funny, Jen! Come back and tell the chapter about your husband.

Beautiful Mess said...

AHAHAHA Jen! OH NO!!!! I thought it was bad when my now 13 year old found mine when she was 3. She would FREAK out if she found it now...good Lord I can't imagine!

Yes, please come back for the chapter about your husband ;)

Denver Laura said...


I had a group of girlfriends a few years ago who, as a joke, would pass around BOB. Anybody who hosted a girls night out would basically have to inpect their house then the party was over because the trick was to place it where others would see it when the home owner wasn't looking.

One lady had it on a shelf while renovating. She said that they kept loking at her strangly and she didn't find BOB on the shelf until 3 days into the renovation. At that point, do you remove it?

Lynn said...

LMAO! Too damn funny :D I'd love to be around to get a look at your hubby when he puts his jacket on ;D

Kakunaa said...

Add the lube!!!

A few years ago when I was moving out of the cabin I lived in at a job I had mine under the mattress, 2 of them. I remembered they were taking the mattresses and at the last moment just put them in my coat pocket - when they moved my coat, they fell out. LMAO. The person who did the moving came and found me later to tell them they had moved them to a safer location. LMAO. Oh, boy, do I have B.O.B. stories. I love it!

Thanks for the visit!

battynurse said...

Oh my. I love this. And yes I've seen several various bob's in Lillian Vernon and several other catalogs.

MrsSpock said...

Oh. My. Gawd.

JamericanSpice said...

Is this a guest post?


I'm still rocking with laughter! :D