B.O.B. meets boy

I'm your host for this post. I'm here to make you laugh or smile at least. I'm Jen from In One Ear. My blog is supposedly family friendly, but I think I fit in better here. I am a pervert. I have a wicked sense of humor, and well, what you see is what you get. I can't post half the stuff I tell my good friend Kristin because people read my blog that would absolutely flip. So, I'm here.

This story is about *B.O.B. meeting my boy...I'd tell you his age, but that would make you laugh harder (ok, he's almost 14). My kids have warped senses of humor as well and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Last night my husband, Phil aka George Clooney....seriously, he's hot (editor's note added...Phil is seriously hot), was cleaning the drawers in our room. He threw something on the bed and I didn't bother checking to see what it was until in walks the boy. The boy sits down, picks up B.O.B. and says "Hey mom, what's this?" "Um, a massager?" He then turns it on and rubs in up and down his arm..."Weird massager" I'm pretty sure I turned a couple shades of red, but he really is convinced it's a massager, for how much longer, I don't know. So, the Boy met B.O.B., hubby got a good laugh about it, and I got the hubby back really good. I put B.O.B. in his jacket pocket. It's going to get cold later in the week, and he's going to get a surprise. I'm wondering if I should get one of those travel sized lubes and really have fun with it?

*B.O.B. = battery operated boyfriend = vibrator

Ummmm, intersting is a kind way to describe it.

Today was one of those days. Not a bad day but not too fabulous either. The only real saving grace was the gorgeous weather. 70 glorious degrees in January is an amazing thing.

The day started with Joey having a melt down of apocalyptic proportions. "Can't we skip church today? I just want to relax this morning. But, MOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM,..." commence crying and fussing and everything else. Then, while the kids were in Sunday school, I was sitting in the coffee house/cafe we have at church talking to some friends. When their little one dropped something, I bent over to pick it up and heard something go craaack. It sounded a little like a branch breaking. Luckily, the noise wasn't coming from me. Unluckily, the sound came from the underwire in my bra. The damned underwire in my favorite bra snapped in half. What the fuck?!?!?!?!?!? Guess that's one more thing I need to buy when the tax return comes in.

Then, this evening, I walked into the living room after putting Joey and Gabe to bed and it felt like I'd time warped back to the 80s. Vic and Marty were watching the truly awful Mega Python vs. Gateroid starring none other than Tiffany and Debbie Deborah Gibson. Vic reports there was even a full fledged Tiffany vs. Deborah cat fight mid way through the movie. I think I must make Vic pay and pay big for putting this movie on while I was home and awake. Any suggestions? I tried to read my book but I honestly couldn't stand being in the room while the movie ran. So, I went and took a shower and shaved my legs instead. That's it...that is this movie's redeeming quality (although Vic might argue the redeeming quality was getting to watch Tiffany's boobs come perilously close to bouncing out of her ranger outfit). This movie was so bad it made me go shave my legs. What?!?!?!?!? Don't tell me you shave your legs all the time in the winter.  Hell, pants cover a multitude of sins including hairy legs.

All in all, not a bad day but definitely not a good day...just interesting.

So y'all, what is the absolute WORST movie you have ever been exposed to?

UPDATED: Broaden Your Horizons with EdenFantasys

*Battynurse is the recipient of my gift code this time.

Hey y'all, I just wanted to let you guys know that I will periodically (once, maybe twice a month) be blogging about EdenFantasys. I will always include something in the post title to give you a heads up so you can make sure you read it in an appropriate, non-work, kids-free locale. I also wanted to let you know that it will pay for you to comment on these posts because, I'm planning to share the wealth that EdenFantasys is sharing with me. Yeah, I get compensated for these posts with a gift code (is this enough disclosure for you FCC) but, as much as I adore the company, I would quickly run out of storage space for my adult toys if I bought something every few weeks. So, to solve that problem, I'm going to periodically pass a gift code along with you. I won't always let you know when I'm going to do this, so comment often. I hope you enjoy learning more about this most incredible company because I have thoroughly enjoyed working with them (hint, hint Jenn...I'm always available for more).

I know a lot of you checked out the EdenFantasys website last time I ran a contest but I want to make sure you've checked out sexis, EdenFantasys online magazine.
Yeah, this is a magazine all about sex but it isn't a magazine full of naked pictures (although that can be fun too). The articles and topics explored there range from a synopsis of the possible breakthrough in the treatment of AIDS to the weekly humor/advice column from the Bloggess to the weekly Naked Reader Twitterotica Contest.Where else can you read a somewhat scholarly discussion about how the Pill has affected our sexual culture and then turn around and read an article about a Minnesota man who built a bomb in a vibrator. Honestly, I can lose myself for hours reading back stories in sexis.

Do yourself a favor and set aside some time to check out sexis. You may be amused, horrified (at someone's idiocy aka Minnesota man), or even titillated, but I guarantee you'll be entertained. Tell us what your favorite article is and...

Hey Mister, can you spare a dime?

Or more precisely, can you spare 16,000 dimes? Over a year ago, Vic and I repaired our $150 Craig's List special fridge. The repair cost about $100 and we were pretty satisfied with that because for only $250 total, we had a working 26 cu ft fridge. Well, the damned fridge has broken again Do NOT buy a Wirlpool Side by Side fridge. We have a Whirlpool Side by Side fridge (the interior looks exactly like this one) and, behind the two dials in the fridge that control the temps for both the fridge and freezer, there are two pieces that tend to have ISSUES. These issues are well known...well known enough that I could find repair instructions online. When these issues start, they cause the freezer to randomly shut off. Eventually, they give out completely and the cooling fails entirely. Thank God we have and extra fridge in our den and a chest freezer on our back porch. Their existence meant I was able to cram everything in. It will be a pain in the ass until next Friday but it is doable. Next Friday is when the federal government has said our tax return will be in our bank account (WOOHOOO for early filing). So, instead of the myriad of other things that need doing, next Friday I will be shopping for and buying a new fridge. So, I guess if the damned fridge had to break, the timing was ok because we will have the money to replace it shortly.

Speaking of fridges, I am lusting after the 28.5 cu ft GE Profile fridge but I'll probably end up with something like either this GE or this Samsung. I just can't justify over $2200 for a fridge right now. Anyone have any recommendations or sad tales of appliance problems?

Confessions of a Not So Secret Geek

I do a good imitation of not being a total geek. I have tattoos, multiple ear piercings, dye my hair purple, and write posts about EdenFantasys. But, beneath that facade beats the heart of a dyed in the wool geek. My geekdom goes back many, many years. I was the curve buster in middle school and finished high school with a semester's worth of college credits. These days, I revel in my geekdom.  I do crossword puzzles in ink. I like algebra (how the hell did that happen). I love games that challenge my brain a bit. But, my geekdom came slamming home in grand style the other day. I saw a commercial that had me twitterpated (please tell me you remember where twitterpated came from). If I was a Southern belle, I would have been swooning with excitement. Ya wanna know what had me so excited? It was a commercial for the IBM and Jeopardy Challenge. IBM has built Watson, a super computer that can answer questions the way a person does and, on February 14th, 15th, and 16th, Watson will challenge Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter. My heart beat just a little bit faster when I discovered an entire web site dedicated to the development of this unbelievable computer system. I think I might be in love.

It's a really good thing my husband's a geek too. Otherwise, I might have trouble explaining why I want to stay home on Valentine's Day and watch Jeopardy.

I'd like to I'm off to try and salvage my reputation but a bit of American Idol and some crocheting isn't likely to do that.

Random Linkage

Guys, I have two little links I want to share with you.  Neither of these are worthy of a post unto themselves but they are too cool not to share. First of all, did you know a Firefox is a real animal? Yup, firefox is another name for the Red Panda. Well, the folks at Mozilla Firefox are sponsoring the two cutest little forefoxes, Spark and Ember, at the Knoxville Zoo. They have a live web cam and you can watch these cuties play at http://firefoxlive.mozilla.org/

The second  link is a site for kids...http://twistynoodle.com/ There are all kinds of coloring pages...everything from holiday ones to coloring pages for the specific teams on this year's Super Bowl.  The most awesome thing they have are the sheets that combine the coloring sheets with handwriting worksheets.  What makes these so cool is you can customize them...changing them from print to cursive worksheets depending on what is needed by your student.


Do you have any cool links or fun time wasters for us to check out?  Share please!

The 1st Brass Balls Award

Not too long ago (ok, longer than I meant it to be), I told you about a wonderful new award that Rys, Aunt Becky, and I were going to be starting...the Brass Balls Award. Well, I'm finally getting off my ass and awarding it.


This award recognizes "an exemplary post that took an amazing amount of guts to not only type out but put out there for the world to see". I can think of no post that fits this description better than That Which Is Left Behind. That Which Must Be Said. on BandBackTogether.com. This post was written by the amazing GuiltySquid who writes at the blog of the same name. GuiltySquid's post talks about her father and how special he was and his devastating loss through suicide. People can be so hesitant to talk about losing someone through suicide because they fear the people they tell will think less of their loved one or might say something hurtful about the person lost.  As GuiltySquid said,

"Suicide is a topic that no one wants to be connected to. People don’t want to talk about it. They can’t hear about it. They don’t want to comfort you because they don’t know how. It’s not something that they want to believe can happen to you. They don’t know what to say. They don’t have the answers either, and that makes it difficult for them."

Because of her bravery in putting this post out there, it may be just a little easier for people to talk about their loss or to comfort a someone who loses a loved one through suicide. That is an invaluable gift she has given all of us.

Take a moment to go read GuiltySquid's post and check out her equally amazing blog. This woman's got a set of big brass balls and we need to celebrate that.

Another Perfect Moment: amazed

Welcome to Perfect Moment Monday sponsored by Lori over at Write Mind Open Heart. Lori says that "Perfect Moment Monday is more about noticing a perfect moment than about creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between.

Y'all have seriously amazed me. About 36 hours ago, I put out the call for anyone who wanted to help me do something for Wiseguy to email me. In less than 36 hours, I have gotten emails from more than 40 of you and I already have pieces of the project being sent to me from people in Germany, Canada, Israel, and France. Y'all are seriously amazing. I have always known how special our community is but this is concrete proof that friendship and love stretches across borders, through computers, and is no longer limited to people down the street. Thank you for coming together and helping me comfort our friend.

Go check out the other perfect moments at this week's Perfect Moment Monday on Write Mind Open Heart.

Perfect Moment Monday: Healing Laughter

Welcome to Perfect Moment Monday sponsored by Lori over at Write Mind Open Heart (formerly Weebles Wobblog). Lori says that "Perfect Moment Monday is more about noticing a perfect moment than about creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between."

I was talking to a dear friend who is hurting so very badly...and, despite the devastating loss she suffered, I was able to make her laugh, not once, but twice. I hope the balm of that laughter did as much for her as it did for me.

Go check out the other perfect moments at this week's Perfect Moment Monday on Write Mind Open Heart.

A Call To Arms

Y'all, I want us to do something for Wiseguy. Something to let her know that her Lola will never be forgotten. I need all of you to click on this link and email me because I have an idea about what we can do for her. Please spread the news and repost this so everyone who knows and loves Wiseguy can join in. The turn around on this will be short so contact me soon.

*The link is working for some and not for others...don't know why. If it doesn't work for you, just use the regular email me link and put Wiseguy in the subject line.

**The link is PISSING me off.  Here is my email addy cruzowlpost at att dot net

Too Late Good-Bye

I woke up this morning to find this post on Wiseguy's blog.

I am a Bloody Fool

Lola had a cardiac arrest on Jan 16, 2011 which she did not survive. I was kept in the dark. 

I can't even begin to express my sorrow, how fucking lost and empty I'm sure she feels and how helpless I feel at not even being able to be there to comfort my friend. Wiseguy, I love you and I am praying for you.

And, too all of you who have already been by there to offer your love and support, THANK YOU.

Rock 'n Roll ICLW

Hey Y'all! Welcome to my Lair and a little thing Mel likes to call ICLW. If you don't know what ICLW is, what rock have you been hiding under? Seriously, just joking there. If you want to know more about ICLW, click on that little light blue rectangle with the cute puppy dog on it. If you are new around here, feel free to poke around and click on links. I think I've hidden the bodies well enough not to scare anyone away.

I thought I'd kick off ICLW with a most excellent meme I've found. So, welcome to The Art Band version of Rock 'n Roll Fridays. This week's questions are all based on lyrics from songs by art bands.

1. YES … AND YOU AND I : “Coins and crosses never know their fruitless worth..”
What inanimate object do you cherish? My wedding ring and my kids' baby pictures.

2. MOODY BLUES … MELANCHOLY MAN : “Another man is what you'll see, Who looks like you and looks like me, And yet somehow he will not feel the same, His life caught up in misery, he doesn't think like you and me…”
When have you felt like an outcast? In middle school.  That was a seriously miserable time for me.

3. EMERSON LAKE & PALMER … THE ENDLESS ENIGMA : “I've seen paupers as kings
Puppets on strings, Dance for the children who stare. You must have seen them everywhere”
How did you entertain a young child recently? Gabe is only 5. He counts as young, right?  Gabe and I played Uno Attacks about a million times the other day..

4. KING CRIMSON … THE COURT OF THE CRIMSON KING : “The purple piper plays his tune,
The choir softly sing; Three lullabies in an ancient tongue, For the court of the crimson king…”
Who is your favorite instrumental group or player? I like Yanni and I like music from things like Arthur Feidler and the Boston Pops.

5. PINK FLOYD … US AND THEM : “I've got things on my mind, for want of the price of tea and a slice, the old man died…”
Do you give money to beggars? Sometimes...I kind of base whether I give or not on my instinctual reaction to the situation and person.

6. DAVID BOWIE … SPACE ODDITY : “Ground control to Major Tom, Your circuits dead, there's something wrong, Can you hear me, Major Tom?”
Who were you speaking with the last time you had a dropped the call? I was talking to my mom and she drove into a dead zone.

7. ROXY MUSIC … OH YEAH : “Day and night drifting into love, Driving you home from a movie show, So in tune to the sounds in my car…”
Do you have a special romantic song you love to listen to in the car? I love to listen to Keeper of the Stars by Tracy Byrd.  It was the song for our first dance.

8. VELVET UNDERGROUND … FEMME FATALE : “See the way she walks, Hear the way she talks, You're put down in her book, You're number 37, have a look…”
Have you dated a lot of people? (More than 10) Nope

9. THE NICE … COUNTRY PIE : “Listen to the fiddler play, When he's playin' 'til the break of day, Oh me, oh my, Love that country pie.”
What is your favorite kind of pie? I absolutely LOVE Caramel Apple Crunch Pie.

10. FRANK ZAPPA … DON’T YOU EAT THAT YELLOW SNOW : “And the northern lights commenced to glow, And she said, with a tear in her eye, Watch out where the huskies go, and don't you eat that yellow snow…”
Have you ever eaten snow? Yes, but never the yellow stuff...LOL.

11. GENESIS …THROWING IT ALL AWAY : “When there's nothing that I can say -
we're throwing it all away…”
What was the last thing you threw away? The sweetener packets from my morning coffee.

12. KATE BUSH …THE DREAMING : “Many an aborigine’s mistaken for a tree, see the light ram through the gaps in the land. You near him on the motorway and the tree began to breathe…”
Have you ever accidentally killed or injured an animal with your car? Sadly, yes. About a week after I got my license, a little dog ran out into the road. I had a choice between putting my car in the ditch and potentially injuring myself badly or hitting the dog. I did NOT go into the ditch and then I sat and sobbed about it for  a while.

13. JETHRO TULL … LOCOMOTIVE BREATH : “In the shuffling madness Of the locomotive breath, Runs the all time loser, Headlong to his death…”
Have you ever been in a dangerous situation where you could have been hurt or killed? Yeah, I use to be a paramedic and there were some calls I went on that were potentially dangerous. I also shared an apartment with a future murderer (he was my aparment mate's boyfriend).

Keeping with the theme of questions and answers, I'm going to open the floor to y'all. Ask anything you want...and I do mean anything. The only cautionary word I'll give you is don't ask if  you don't want to know because I will answer anything.


Happy ICLW y'all!

Winner, winner

Hey y'all.  I'm pleased to announce the winner of the EdenFantasys giveaway - Geri of Heart N Soul Cooking. Congratulations Geri!

As for the rest of you lovely people, don't despair. There WILL be more fun with EdenFantasys in the future.

Doctor or Serial Killer...you decide

Rarely do I read something that shocks me so much that I am temporarily at a lost for word...that all I can do is shake my head and almost babble when someone asks me what's wrong...but I read something like that today. Kakunna over at Spermination Station posted about the so-called abortion mill that was finally shut down in Philly. I followed her link to the abortion mill article on Yahoo News and was stunned, shocked, and thoroughly disgusted by what I read.

Now y'all who are long time readers know I am *staunchly pro-choice but this situation in Philly goes beyond anything a pro-choicer can or will support. Due to a complete failure by the state oversight board, the abortion clinic operated by Dr. Kermit Gosnell has been running with no nurses and not a single certified OB-GYN on staff since 1989. It has been documented that Dr. Gosnell has allowed a 15 yr old high school student to administer anesthesia. He has also allowed his wife who is a cosmetologist to perform late term abortions.  But, far more egregious than even these atrocities are the (at least) 7 cases where Dr. Gosnell sedated a woman to perform an abortion, induced labor, delivered a live baby, and then killed it with a pair of scissors to the back of the neck. Gosnell is being charged in those 7 cases with murder but **"His staff testified about "scores of gruesome killings" of infants born alive. "These killings became so routine that no one could put an exact number on them," the grand jury report said."

My heart breaks for those babies born alive and fighting.  My heart also breaks for the women who went there, thinking they were going to a reputable clinic.The evil bastardGosnell actually kept baby body parts around.  As far as I'm concerned, he wasn't a doctor but Gosnell was a serial murderer of the worst kind. After reading the article and doing a little googling about this myself, I can only come to one conclusion. Dr Gosnell is an evil, twisted bastard who deserves to rot in hell...or maybe he should be drawn and quartered...or strung up with a bunch of angry birds so he could be pecked to death...  Oh dammit, I just can't come up with any punishment sufficiently vile for that evil bastard.

*I am pro-choice.
**quoted from the Yahoo News article

Update on Lola...

I just got off the phone with Wiseguy. I passed on all the prayers and positive thoughts to her and she is extremely thankful for them. She's holding up pretty well but I could hear the tears in her voice a couple of times. I didn't get all the details about why they delivered early (it might have had to do with Wiseguy's blood pressure...she had some issues with that early on I think) but I did get a Lola update.

Wiseguy said that Lola was born strong and apparently healthy (HUGE PLUS) but then developed problems. It turns out the Miss Lola had a small hole in her heart (likely a *Patent Ductus Arteriosus...very common in premature babies) and that caused problems with pulmonary hypertension. The doctors feel that given how healthy Lola was at birth, she stands a very high likelihood of being ok. Lola is on a ventilator. If Lola's hole is a PDA, this is common treatment because this assists breathing and allows the baby to grow and hopefully allows the PDA to resolve itself.

Since I called poor Wiseguy out of the blue, I didn't keep her on the phone too long and didn't get too many details. I am guessing that the diagnosis is a PDA but it could be some other variety of problem (PDA is most likely). As I told Wiseguy, prognosis is often good when these babies are born healthy. Please, please keep Wiseguy and Lola in your prayers. Since she is having trouble with her internet access/blog update, I am going to stay in touch with her and get you updates in as timely a manner as possible.

*Wikipedia actually has a very good page on Patent Ductus Arteriosus if you want to educate yourself about it.

Wiseguy and Lola need us...

I got a message from Wiseguy yesterday. I don't have any details but Wiseguy and Lola need our prayers. Lola is in the NICU and "she is on ventilator and fighting for life." Please go over to Wiseguy's blog Woman Anyone? and offer your support.

My friend...my thoughts and prayers are with you and your precious little girl.

Random Shit and Nonsense

Pet Peeve...why, oh why would you assign your pupils a research product and not teach them HOW to research? Teaching them to research is MORE than saying "Go to Yahoo, the CIA Factbook, or Wikipedia and find the information." You need to teach them the importance of key phrases and actually reading the paragraphs...not just picking out the facts in bold print.

It bothers me greatly when I hear a highly educated, fairly eloquent person say aks instead of ASK. When said person is a university professor and she repeatedly says aks in the course of her "Welcome to our Science Program", it feels like finger nails being dragged across a blackboard.

According to Gabe, noodles are naked because they are nude.

A friend and I have discovered that despite wrapping boxes, labeling boxes, and placing boxes by the front door, those aforementioned boxes will not go to the post office and mail themselves.

I got three pairs of beautimous shoes from CSN Stores. They are simply gorgeous and I can't wait to review them for you.

All of the shoes fit perfectly but, I have to put off wearing two of the pairs. Evidently, I wrenched my ankle a bit when I fell on our icy hill. My ankle isn't bothering me when I wear flats or low heels (up to 2 inches) but my gorgeous loves with their 3+ inch heels cause my right ankle to call me semi-dirty names. Soon my lovelies, soon!

I am sadly behind on two things important to me...my annual book challenge and the Brass Balls award. I promise they will both be taken care of before the end of the week. If you are going to take part in the book challenge, start keeping track of your books. I've already read 7 books.

My *SBC Jennifer rescued me tonight. Vic had to work and Marty had to go to an orientation meeting for a science program he is participating in at NC State University. Dear Jennifer came over after a long day dealing with bank stuff and kept my younger two company. I am so lucky to have someone like Jennifer in my life.

Marty had a teenage moment earlier today. I almost had to kill him but then I didn't.

One of Marty's friends sent me a Facebook friend request. Normally, I wouldn't hesitate to accept but my blog posts cross post on Facebook and certain things I talk about would totally wig out but Marty's friend and the friend's mom.

A baby born recently to an ALI community member is in the ICU on a vent. Say some prayers for her (will let you know the identity as soon as I have permission).

Tell me something random going on in your life.

*SBC = sister by choice

Bragging about my baby...

Tonight, after dinner and before we took Joey to Tae Kwon Do, Gabe broke out his markers and paper and produced these masterpieces...
Gabe's work in red, mine in blue

Gabe's work in blue, mine in red
That's right. My little guy who just turned 5 and only started preschool last August is writing his names and numbers! Gabe has also shown the ability to do some simple addition and is starting to read some words. He is totally kicking school's ass.

Perfect Moment Monday: Sometimes he blows me away

Welcome to Perfect Moment Monday sponsored by Lori over at Write Mind Open Heart (formerly Weebles Wobblog). Lori says that "Perfect Moment Monday is more about noticing a perfect moment than about creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between."

It was just a few days ago. Marty had stayed up late with me watching some of the programs he watches with Vic and me. I sat down to shut off the computer and I guess I must have sighed. Marty asked me what was wrong and commented that I sounded tired. I told him I was but I had a few things to do before I went to bed.  I needed to fold laundry and do dishes. Marty said "I can help mom. What do you want me to do?" That's right my 13 (almost 14 yr old was offering to help.  Yeah, he would get to stay up a few minutes later but not doing fun stuff. We both really needed to get to sleep but I couldn't deny his generosity. Marty folded the laundry while I did the dishes and we both were able to go to bed a short time later. Sometimes he really amazes me and makes me stop and realize that we must be doing something right. I love you kiddo and thanks for the Perfect Moment.

Go check out the other perfect moments at this week's Perfect Moment Monday on Write Mind Open Heart.

House of Plague Take 2

Arrrrggggghhhh, it never ends! We almost made it. We were almost all healthy. And, then it struck. Gabe puked once yesterday and had a temp of about 101 F. With medicine in him, he was feeling fine and bouncing off the walls today. However, once he started getting tired and the meds started wearing off, the temp went right back up. And, Joey came back from his friend's house this evening with a screaming headache...a migraine actually. I gave him motrin and tylenol and hoped we could clear the pain and maybe make it to TKD Sparring class. That was not to be. His migraine seemed to ease a bit and he sat down to eat a hot dog. He ate about 2/3 of one and it promptly came back up all over my living room floor.  Joey doesn't have a fever so I'm hopeful it is all tied to the migraine but, considering our House of Plague status, I don't have much faith in that.

I guess it was fate that I made the most kick ass pot of chicken noodle soup ever yesterday. In fact, I think it is the best chicken noodle soup I have ever made. Hopefully, it's curative properties will work miracles and we will all really be healthy soon.

Getting Ready for Valentines Day (GIVEAWAY TOO)

Links are NSFW (not safe for work)

Valentine's day is coming up. Yeah, I know...it's too damned soon and too close to Christmas/winter holidays. But, get real y'all. It's halfway through January. That only leaves you one month to come up with a killer way to celebrate Valentine's Day. EdenFantasys and I want to help you with that.
While EdenFantasys offers and almost mind boggling array of adult toys, they also offer a lot of items that can bring the romance back to your life...candles, massage kits, honeymoon and bedside kits, and lingerie. They truly have something for everyone...from the adult toy novice to the person or couple who likes a little kink.  I can guarantee even the most straight-laced of you could find something you like at EdenFantasys. I know some of you may be worried about ordering from an adult company like this but I promise you that EdenFantasys is ultra-discreet and super fast in their shipping (hehehe, almost too discreet...I know one blogger who accidentally started opening her package from EdenFantasys in front of company because she wasn't expecting it to come in so soon).

I can almost see the wheels turning and can hear you wondering how all this info is going to help you on Valentine's Day. Well, let me tell you. The fabulous folks at EdenFantasys are letting me host a $50 giveaway. That's right...one of you will get to go on a sexy shopping spree from the comfort of your own home. Since the gift card will arrive electronically, this giveaway is open to all of my readers age 18 and older. If you live anywhere other than the U.S. or Canada, that will seriously affect your shipping costs so think about that before you enter. So, to sum it up...

What: $50 EdenFantasys electronic gift card
When: contest starts today 1/13/11 and ends at 11:59 pm (eastern time) on 1/20/11
Who: open to all my readers 18 yrs old and older
How: 1. THIS IS REQUIRED Click on over to the EdenFantasys site and tell me something that you like about it...it could be the forums or their magazine Sexis (The Bloggess writes for them) or anything else.

2. Tweet (or facebook) this giveaway (once a day). You can copy and paste either of these

Want to surprise your sweetie for #ValentinesDay ? #Giveaway from EdenFantasys and @dragondream http://bit.ly/ft32VH

Indulge yourself. Enter the #giveaway from EdenFantasys and @dragondream ...Just in time for #ValentinesDay http://bit.ly/ft32VH

3. Follow my blog publicly through Google Friends Connect. If you already are a follower, just tell me.

So, this is gives you up to 10 chances  (8 tweets plus the other 2) to win this fabulous Vaentine's Day surprise.  Remember, one comment equals one entry...so comment for each thing you do.

*In interest of full disclosure...In return for this post and hosting this giveaway, EdenFantasys is supplying me with a giftcard of my own to spend.  All opinions are my own.

Like Father, Like Son

As I watch my children grow and change, I continually discover things about them...ways they are individuals and ways they are just like one of us. Just the other day I discovered something Joey has in common with my husband. See, Vic has always liked to rewrite songs, mess with lyrics. When the kids were all younger, he especially liked to screw up the lyrics of the theme songs to kids' shows. Dora Dora Dora the Explorer,
Boots and super-cool explorer Dora would become Dora, Dora, Dora the Explorer, Trying to find a way across the border.

While Joey and I were on our way to Tae Kwon Do the other night, Foreigner's Hot Blooded came on the radio. Joey's tendency to be like his dad combined with his love of the Percy Jackson and the Olympians books. Well, I'm hot blooded, check it and see, I got a fever of a hundred and three, Come on baby, do you do more than dance? I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded became Well, I'm half-blooded, check it and see, I got a sword skill of a hundred and three, Come on mister, can't you speak ancient Greek? 'Cause you're half-blooded, half-blooded.

I really hope he writes more.  I thought it was a stroke of brilliance.

1 for me, 1 for you...$125 for me, $125 for you from CSN Stores

The fabulous people at CSN Stores are giving me another opportunity to review a product for them and share the love by offering y'all a chance to win a $125 gift card.  Yes, that is right...$125 for you to spend at any one of the 200+ CSN Stores. I know that each and every one of you can find something you like at CSN Stores.  You could apply your gift card to a wonderful piece of furniture from Herman Miller, a pretty wallet or bag (I love my handpainted one), a pair of shoes, or just about any kitchen gadget you could desire.

CSN Stores has super quick delivery and I'll hopefully get my goodies to review soon.  Since they are being super generous and offering y'all the same dollar value gift card that I'm getting, the giveaway will be next month.  However, to keep things interesting, anyone who comments on this post will get an extra entry when I run the giveaway. Check out the Herman Miller products, drool over the cookware at Cookware.com, or just browse through all the stuff on the main CSNStores.com site and spend the next few weeks planning what you want to spend the gift card on.

Cacophony

It's 1:45 am and I should have been in bed hours ago. It's not that I can't sleep but it's that I am basking in the peace and quiet that come so rarely to my house. Sleep beckons but I feel the need to put my thoughts into words. I want to remember that although the quiet is valued and treasured that I need to appreciate the chaos and noise of my everyday life. That chaos and noise stems from the things that truly bless and enrich my life. Without the children I fought so hard to get here, I wouldn't have that glorious noise, that cacophonous din that is the background music of my life. And, without that noise, the peace and quiet.wouldn't be something I reveled in. Instead, it would be something I despaired of.

Good night my friends...and, if you have a second, add to my chaos by delurking here.

*Brass Balls and Brass Tacks

There are hundreds upon thousands of blogs out there and many of those blogs have posts on them that touch you in some way. They may make you laugh or cry or just think. But, every now and then, someone writes a post that bares their heart and soul and when that happens, the results can be amazing. When just one blogger has the courage to bare their soul, others can be inspired to share their stories. Lines of communication can open up that were formerly taboo. Connections can be made that help someone feel less alone. Friendships and communities are formed.

This summer, my dear friend Rys from Confessions of a Clutter Queen came to me with an idea of how to recognize these courageous bloggers. We started bouncing ideas around and The Brass Balls Award was born. Since this award would recognize "an exemplary post that took an amazing amount of guts to not only type out but put out there for the world to see", we decided we needed a few things. One, we needed someone else to help us with the selection. We didn't want this to be just two friends making a decision by themselves. So, we recruited Aunt Becky from Mommy Wants Vodka to join our endeavor. Two, we decided this award needed to be more than just bloggy bling. There needed to be a physical award. Sure, there will be bloggy bling but there will also be a piece of bling created by yours truly. This bling can either be worn as a necklace pendant or used however the recipient wants.When you get down to brass tacks, real people sharing a bit of their lives is what blogging is all about. When those people take it a step further and show some real courage by sharing something personal and intimate, well that take Brass Balls. We plan on announcing the first recipient of The Brass Balls award within the next few days (no later than Monday). After the first Brass Balls Award is given, the current winner will be invited to help us chose the next worthy recipient. I really hope this award will allow these very special bloggers and posts to gain a wider audience. Getting more people to read these truly ballsy posts can only be a good thing and I hope y'all enjoy being a part of it.

*Thanks go to Rys for the rockin' title. I couldn't resist using it.

Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are

If it wasn't for Mel and JJ, I would have totally missed International Blog Delurking Week. And, like they both said, there is a large discrepancy between my stat counter and the number of commenters around here.  While I totally get that people are often too busy to comment and I really do appreciate those of you who take the time to read my ramblings, International Blog Delurking Week is the perfect moment to raise your hand and check in. Presuming blogger's cooperation (and that is a big presumption because this was suppose to post last night), it would take you a minute or less to type here in the comment box and hit enter. Of course, I would be thrilled if you want to tell me more...maybe who you are and how you found me. So, Happy International Blog Delurking Week and let the comments begin.

Mommy...fix it!

Tonight, surgeon mommy was on call. Luckily, it was just for a stuffed toy not for anything more serious. When Joey and I got home from cub scouts and playing with power tools, I went in to say good night to Gabe. He had his monstrous sized stuffed dog in bed with him and the bed and floor were covered with tiny styrofoam balls. Evidently, doggy had a serious boo boo. I pulled out my bag of poly-fill stuffing and a needle and thread and went to work. Since the dog had lost a ton of stuffing, his neck was even less likely to hold up that oversized head. I replaced the stuffing he lost plus a little and now the doggy can actually sit upright. Gabe seemed pleased that his new friend is in one piece again and I'm glad the dog isn't shedding any more styrofoam balls around my house. There is only one problem left. How in the hell do you get rid of the multitude of itty-bitty styrofoam pieces that have spread themselves throughout my house?

Sadly, these little things were originally limited to Gabe's room. I tried to sweep them up and that got some of them. However, it seems that the stryofoam balls that weren't cleaned up by that first sweep appear to be reproducing and spreading rapidly through the house.  HELP

Welcome to the Casa de Plague

I'm sick. Vic is sick. Gabe puked again this morning. I am damned sick and tired of being sick. I have learned one very important lesson...never ever buy Theraflu Flu & Chest Congestion. Normally, we buy the generic version of theraflu from either CVS or Wally World. It works well and tastes kind of like hot lemonade.  But, the upper respiratory plague has been going around Cary and the stores were both sold out of their generic theraflu. I figured the brand version couldn't be much worse but, oh man was I wrong. Theraflu Flu & Chest Congestion tastes like it was brewed from the ass end of a goat.  It was so foul that I couldn't even finish a dose of it.  I would have puked if I finished it. Whatever you do, DO NOT ingest this. Even if someone promised me we would all miraculously be healthy tomorrow, I could not force myself to take a dose.

On a more positive note, I am going to be introducing a brand new blog award with two of my favorite bloggers. Not only will there be bling to post on your blog but there will be a piece of bling you can hang from a necklace for whoever wins the award. Tentatively, the award will be given every three months..maybe more often.  We will have to see.  Look back here for the name of the new award and a picture of the bling that goes with it in the next few days.  We will probably be awarding the first award early next week.

So, anything you want to share with us?

Perfect Moment Monday: Happy With What We Have

Welcome to Perfect Moment Monday sponsored by Lori over at Write Mind Open Heart (formerly Weebles Wobblog). Lori says that "Perfect Moment Monday is more about noticing a perfect moment than about creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between."

I was worried about Christmas this year. Money was tight....tighter than it had been in quite some time. No pay raises or cost of living increases plus an increase in insurance premiums amounted to a pay cut this year and then we had the multiple appliances rebel and the veterinary emergencies.  Frankly, it sucked. And, the kids were older which meant wishes tended to be more expensive. Luckily, the older two kids know the secret about Santa so we were able to explain how tight money was.  But, I still wanted to make Christmas special. Luckily, we had a few small influxes of cash and that enabled us to get a few of the things the kids were really wanting and I had the volcano for Gabe. I was still fretting about Christmas though.

I shouldn't have worried though.  I should have just remembered how special my kids are because according to my boys, "This was the best Christmas ever." Talk about perfect.

Go check out the other perfect moments at this week's Perfect Moment Monday on Write Mind Open Heart...also, take the moment to offer Lori your love and support. Read her Perfect Moment Monday and you'll understand.

I have a guest post...

I have a guest post up over at Untypically Jia. So of it is vintage (fairly recent) Dragondreamer's Lair but there is some new material there.  Can y'all check it out and offer up some bloggy love?

My half-assed attempt to answer a meme...

Aunt Becky challenged all of her readers to join her in answering her yearly meme.  I was going to but lethargy and coughing took over and I decided I only wanted to answer two of the questions...the first and the thirty-second.  Here they are..

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before? I decorated a dildo at the Eden Fantasys party in NYC.  Oh yeah, I was in NYC for another first...I went to BlogHer and met some of the FABULOUS people I've known online for ages


32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? This:

Swarovski Toilet

Sadly, Vic says he won't buy me one when we redo our bathroom but he did say he would buy me a bedazzler and a shit ton of the clear "jewels". I somehow don't think it would be the same.  And, if I'm stuck with the bedazzled version of this masterpiece, I want it in rainbow colors.

Happy New Year Y'all...

I can't begin to tell you guys how much you mean to me. No, seriously, I can't because I hab a code and the New Year's toasting didn't make my sinuses miraculously clear or my head feel better. In what world is it fair that one of my kids is sick for Christmas and I am sick for New Year's? Not fucking fair I tell you. Oh well, I guess that means this year has no where to go but up!

Y'all have done so much to make 2010 seriously ROCK and I wish I could meet each and every one of you and hug you and truly convey how much you've meant to me. And, despite my bitching about being sick, I have to admit that this year ended on an upswing. Vic made some major changes at work and, finally, finally his diabetes is doing better. I am so relieved to have that happen.

Right now, I have so much more I would like to say but, my head is stuffed and, when I try to really write about what you mean to me, it is coming out making no coherent sense at all. Since me being sick is preventing me from waxing eloquently about the amazing friends and family I have surrounding me, I'll just say...

Good Night.

I love you all.

Happy New Year!