"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Thursday, June 03, 2010

Male Pattern Blindness

Not too long ago, I was getting frustrated. It seemed like there were certain things that only I did...moving the toilet paper from the floor next to the table to the bathroom; put the cups away in the cabinet, not on the counter; and, cleaning the kitchen counters. Surely, it wasn't rudeness that left the Charmin sitting by the table for almost 2 weeks or the empty soda can on the counter for almost a month when I conducted an experiment. Surely, my husband and my boys weren't just assuming I would pick that stuff up.

So, I decided there had to be a reason that there are certain that I am the only one to pick up or clean up...and, I thought and thought and thought. I've come to the conclusion that there are certain things the male eye is just not meant to see. That piece of paper in the middle of the floor...nope, not meant to see it. The huge ass thing of Charmin toilet paper that came in from the car after the trip to the store but never made it farther than the floor next to the table...nope, definitely not meant to see it. The cups that are taken from the dish rack and put on the counter but not in the cabinet...nope, not meant to see it. That empty soda can that sat on the counter for over a month...hell no, definitely not meant to see that. I mean, I see that shit EVERY SINGLE TIME and they don't.

It has to be Male Pattern Blindness.

16 comments:

Lynn said...

Lol! I think it's more "Male Pattern Laziness". The Hubs is certainly guilty of this malicious ailment ;) We should think of ways to cure this heinous disease.....maybe by stealing the remote control? =D

My Reality said...

My husband has it for sure. I don't think he even knows how to put garbage in the trash can.

Men. . .

T Lee said...

That may be the greatest name for it that could possibly exist.

Mine NEVER replaces toilet paper. I have those little wire sliding shelves under the bathroom sink, and I can fit 4 rolls in the top drawer, plus the one on the roll. How many times lately do you think I've been stranded? At least 4.

I've taken to leaving the basket in the middle of the floor to see if he notices. He tripped on it once. Still empty. *rolls eyes*

Kristin (kekis) said...

OMG - I thought it was only my husband, not an affliction of the male gender altogether! Not that it makes me feel any better knowing that the cabinet doors are open, the toilet needs to be flushed, the spots are still on the countertop, and crap is EVERYWHERE. At least I know I'm not alone! :)

Lavender Luz said...

My daughter is afflicted, too.

Gah. That and turning out the zillion-watt bathroom lights. I am the. only. one.

Stacie said...

I love it!

It seems that male pattern blindness is an epidemic. Women everywhere are suffering the effects from this condition that is definitely worse for the family of the inflicted. I sadly doubt, though, that any money is being spent on the cure for this disease (disease? mental illness?) because half the population of the earth doesn't even know it exists. Sigh.

MEN!

Another Dreamer said...

lmao- my husband has that. Now if we could only find a cure...

..Soo.See.. said...

I've conducted the same 'experiment'. Didn't work in my house either.. :P

battynurse said...

Sounds like a pretty good theory.

Meari said...

LOL, Yup. Been there, done that. But then I guess there are those things that bug us and not the male population. Probably vice versa too. ((hugs)) my friend.

Kami said...

Funny that I should randomly stop by today. This happens in my house too but it is my husband who is always cleaning up after me.

I see it, it just doesn't register as something that needs to be done. After 11 years of living together I am getting better and, unfortunately, my husband is not cleaning up my stuff as much anymore. I usually "get it" after a couple of days.

Nina said...

Oooooooh! I know how to fix it. I fixed it at my house. See, you have to bite them in the ass with it. All clothing that didn't make it to the proper receptacle, I threw under the bed. After about 3 weeks, he noticed he was going nekkid, and quickly. Of course, I must know what happened to his clothes, so he asks (walks right into it ;) ). I asked him if he'd been hitting the hamper. Got that typically male look of "Huh?" You know the one. So, I clued him in and let him know that if he couldn't absolutely confirm that he'd hit the hamper every time, to look under the bed, cause that was where all the mislaid clothing had ended up. Not surprisingly, they were all his. Yes, he was pissed like hell. Know where his clothes are now? In the hamper. Warning: This does require occasional reinforcement.

Chris said...

Thanks for explaining it to all of us. It was a mystery for me with both of my ex husbands.

Barb said...

hehehehehe

Mrs. Gamgee said...

LOL... I so agree! I'm not the tidiest person, but I know what clean is. My Beloved on the other hand... he assumes that the dishes being in the sink is tidying up the kitchen.

MrsSpock said...

Mr S would like to interject that it is usually MY clutter that HE is cleaning up. And that's why I married him- because I couldn't afford a maid.