Questions

There are so many things they don't tell you about parenting before you become one. One of the most fascinating and, at the same time, maddening things you experience are the questions you get from your kids. When they are little, the questions are fairly easy to answer but, as kids get older, the questions frequently get more challenging.

When they are little, you face the typical questions...Why is the grass green? Why is the sky blue? Why does it rain? None of those are that hard to answer and, when I didn't feel like answering, my two favorite answers would suffice. The stock answers "because God made it that way" or "so you would have a question to ask" work as answers to almost every why or what question in existence,

With my kids, you truly never know what question is going to come out of their mouths. Lately, Gabe has reentered the why phase and it's about to drive me insane. Seriously, have you heard the old saying that someone has been vaccinated with a phonograph needle? Well, that is Gabe and I 'd have to say that 90% of the words that come out of his mouth are somehow tied to why or what. But, even Gabe sometimes throws a question my way that simply can't be answered and the funny moments come when he decides he has the answers anyway. A couple of weeks ago, Gabe asked me what God's phone number was. He's really into calling people and chatting. His favorite victims people to call are Grandma, Aunt Jennifer, and Aunt Becky. I guess he decided to ass God to his list of phone buddies. Gabe was rather put out when I told him I didn't know God's phone number and I wasn't sure he had one but he was mollified a bit when I suggested he ask our Pastor about God's phone number. However, like most kids, Gabe is impatient and I guess he found the solution himself because he informed me (later that day) that he had God's number and that God and Jesus shared a phone number. When I asked him how he knew they shared a number he told me that they both called him and it was from the same number.

Marty also went through a challenging question phase. But, the challenge from him wasn't the quantity of questions. It was in the sheer complexity of the questions. For a couple of years, the arrival of summer heralded the arrival of a seriously difficult question from Marty. The three most memorable questions of the summer happened in three consecutive years. The summer before Marty entered 2nd grade, he asked me what a dimensional rift was. Can you imagine trying to explain that in terms a 7 to 8 yr old would understand? Then, the summer before 3rd grade, Marty wanted to know why some stars became black holes when they collapsed and some didn't and what would happen to our sun when it collapsed. Thank God my mom was a science teacher because I could only remember about half the answer. Then, the summer before 4th grade, Marty asked what would happen if we exploded an atom bomb inside a black hole. Hell, I never mastered theoretical physics. I didn't have a clue how to begin to explain that answer. I still can't decide whether I'm disappointed or relieved that the questions of the summer seemed to die out. I think I'm mostly relieved. Can you imagine what they would be like now, 5 yrs later, if he was talking about theoretical physics before 4th grade?


What's the weirdest, funniest, or most interesting question you've been asked by a kid?
Do you have any questions, seriously any, that you'd like to ask me? I'll come back later and answer them.