"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Love and Marriage

Love and marriage, love and marriage
Go together like a horse and carriage
This I tell you brother
You can't have one without the other

Come this November, Vic and I will be celebrating our 18th wedding anniversary. In August, we will have spent 20 years of our life together. It blows my mind when I think about it. It seems like no time at all has passed since we met but, it also feels like he's been part of my life forever. I guess I have to own up to the almost 18 years of marriage since the living, breathing evidence of our years together are sleeping down the hall.  For me, love and marriage to Vic definitely go together. I can't imagine my life without him.

Love and marriage, love and marriage
It's an institute you can't disparage
Ask the local gentry
And they will say it's elementary

Loving Vic is elementary. He is my heart and soul. He makes me laugh like no one else does and holds me tight and makes me feel safe when times are tough. Marriage, well marriage isn't so elementary. Marriage is a hard ass road and, without the love and laughter, the effort it takes to get through the hard times will wear you down.

Try, try, try to separate them
It's an illusion
Try, try, try, and you will only come
To this conclusion

I really can't separate love from marriage. Love is what leads you to do the little things for your partner. Love is what gets you to do the dishes when all you really want is to go to bed because you know it drives your partner crazy to have dishes in the sink over night and you don't want him to feel like he needs to do dishes the minute he walks through the door from work. Love is what gets you to say, "If you need something, wake me up instead of your mom, she needs her sleep" even when you need your sleep too. These little things are what keeps a marriage running smoothly even when life keeps throwing shitstorm after shitstorm at you.

Love and marriage, love and marriage
Go together like the horse and carriage
Dad was told by mother
You can't have one, you can't have none, you can't have one without the other!

If you find someone you truly love, whether it's a man, a woman, or a three legged alien, that love can lead to one of the most miraculous of all things, a long term, happy marriage. Somehow, knowing that there is someone whose always got your back, who will support you completely, who loves you beyond reason, well, that makes you feel like you can move mountains and conquer the world.

Do you think marriage is important or is it just a piece of paper to you? Have you found the partner you want to spend your life with?