"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs...

Where else can you go from gratuitously cute kid and animal pictures to talking about boobs in the space of one post? Well, maybe there are a few other places but today it is here. I know I've talked about boobs in the past. I talked about bras and how to make sure they fit and I celebrated National Cleavage Day. But, when 3 out of the top 10 keyword searches for my blog are variations on "boobs r us", its time to talk about boobs again. Fun facts, important facts, or just plain weird facts...they are all welcome!

1. Did you know fake boobs don't float but real boobs do? No, I'm not making this up. The density is different.
2. Boobs can get stretch marks too. Some women develop stretch marks on their breasts because they grew rapidly or got really large during puberty. These same women will be prone to stretch marks during pregnancy or significant weight gains. The tendency to get stretch marks is genetic. THERE IS NO WAY TO PREVENT STRETCH MARKS.
3. The week immediately after your period is the best time to do your monthly breast exam. Breasts are less tender and the tissue tends to be less affected by hormones making it easier to find problem areas. Do you know how to do a breast exam? If you don't, click here and there are videos that teach you how.
4. Even though women rarely grow taller past the age of 16 or 17, breasts often increase in size until we are in our early to mid 20s.
5. You can have a third nipple...*"It's not all that freaky for a woman (or a man) to have an extra headlight. This nonfunctional nipple is usually smaller and located lower on the body than the main pair, and it rarely develops or produces milk (it generally looks more like a freckle than a nipple, which is why many people who have one don't even know it). So how did it sprout? Early in fetal development, many "breast buds" form a U-shaped arc along the chest. Over time, these buds disappear, except for the two that turn into your main pair, says Dr. Casas. Star Mark Wahlberg is rumored to have a third nipple -- which was airbrushed out of his early '90s Calvin Klein underwear ads."
6. **When your boobage grows larger than (about) a DD, the fun ceases. Your shoulders are perpetually tight. Your neck and shoulders hurt because of the weight. And, they screw up the way clothes fit. If you buy a dress, you frequently have to buy a size larger than you normally wear because of the amount of fabric it takes to cover your boobs. And, if you happen to sew, you will have to modify patterns so they will accomodate your ginormous rack. IT SUCKS.
7. Nipples can change color (get darker) during pregnancy and while nursing. This is normal.
8. If you notice any significant change to your nipple at any other time during your life...abnormal discharge, shape change, or darkening not associated with pregnancy or mega doses of hormones, GET YOUR DOCTOR TO CHECK THEM.

So, do you have anything to add? Jokes, weirdness, or facts are welcome.


* I have read this in a more scientific location but this quote is from a Cosmo article. I don't read Cosmo but it was the first place I found the info online.
** This info comes to you via the school of Kristin

12 comments:

stitchersanon said...

Boobs can grow throughout life...depending on weight changes, prenancy, hormonal changes etc. Wish I had known that when I was 15 lol! Great post!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the PSA...it will DEFINITELY affect your search terms--lol :)

Wishing 4 One said...

Wow this boobie post was awesome! I just recently got proper bras that actually fit me right. What a freakin differnece man!

oklaln86 said...

Very informative!

Barefoot said...

Love all the boob talk. Mine continue to take over my life right now, so your post was well-timed from my perspective!

Nina said...

Yeah, my boobs feature prominently in my blog too. I have to get new bras soon, because the Mt. Vesuvii (see my blog for reference) are growing ever more larger. I will need a crane and a front-end loader to hoist them up soon.

Beautiful Mess said...

You're nipples can secrete a discharge. Don't freak out and assume whatever becuase it IS normal. Especially after having them "handled" *ahem*
My boobs grew when I was pregnant with Nae, stayed bigger and then grew AGAIN with Zilla and once again, stayed the same. I am a proud owner of a set of D's whereas before I was MAYBE a B...so strange!

battynurse said...

I think the whole bra sizing thing is amusing. When I was thinner and the band size around was a 38ish I wore a D cup at least. Now I'm a 44 and wear like a C or even B and have had those be too big. This is one chubby chick who does not have much boobage.

Carrie27 said...

When would be the best time to for a breast exam when you don't have a period?

Alana said...

You go with your boob-information! :)

AnotherDreamer said...

Hahaha :)

ME! said...

YES on the tense shoulders. I currentlly a DD- dense fibrocystic, and I am always tense. blah. Great booby post.