"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Another 4 am call...

I got woken up at a little after 4 am again last night. This time, instead of being woken up by a sick kiddo, I got woken up when my hubby started violently shaking. He has woken up a few minutes prior and had gotten sick and when he got back in bed he started shaking and couldn't stop. He was shaking so badly that he couldn't check his own blood sugar. I had to check it for him. Although it was high, it was within the range that can be caused by being sick and it wasn't high enough to be causing the symptoms. We figured out what was going on once I took his temp. Poor Vic was running a temp of 103. That is very high for an adult. Luckily, despite getting sick again, he was able to take some ibuprofen and acetaminophen to help lower his temp. I got him all bundled up on the couch and had him settled in (he wanted to hang there until his shaking was under control and he told me I should go to bed so at least one of us was well rested. Well that didn't happen. I almost came back out and hung out in the living room with him. I guess Brian's death affected me even more than I thought. All I could think after I headed back to bed was what if...
  • What if his temp spiked and he got much worse and I wasn't there to help
  • What if his illness caused his blood sugar to spike and I wasn't there to take care of him
  • What if he calls out for help and I don't hear him and something really bad happens
  • what if, what if, what if...
I was terrified at the thought of something happening to Vic and I kept tossing and turning as the thought "I don't know what I would do without him" ran through my head. This kind of obsessive focusing on the worst case scenario is NOT me. I didn't fall fully asleep until he came back to bed after 5 in the morning. He still doesn't feel good but his temperature has gone most of the way back down. He's resting easy now and I think know I will rest easier tonight.

22 comments:

Beautiful Mess said...

Oh sweetie, how scary! I know those damn thoughts all to well. I hope Vic feels better soon and ya'll can get some sleep!
*HUGS*

Stacie said...

How scary. I do hope he is back to his usual self in no time. Hugs!

Sheliza said...

Oh goodness, that is frightening! I truly hope Vic gets better fast. Please take care of yourself Kristen. I feel for you girly.

The Steadfast Warrior said...

How unbelievably scary! You are such a strong person- remember that it's okay to have those "what if" moments. It makes us appreciate all that we have that much more. Hugs to you. Hope Vic gets well soon!

Fertility Chick said...

That is scary - like you there would be no way I could've slept either. I hope Vic is feeling better soon - you all deserve some sleep! Take care of yourselves!!

Dora said...

So scary! Hope he's feeling better and you both sleep well tonight.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

That is so scary. You can drown in those thoughts once they begin circling. Glad he's feeling a bit better today.

Aunt Becky said...

Poor thing. All of you, I mean. Hang in there. Sending you huge hugs and love and everything.

xoxox

battynurse said...

Poor guy. I hope he's feeling much better soon.

Lavender Luz said...

Healing thought for Vic and calming thoughts for you, dear Kristen.

The Maven said...

Hope you managed to get some sleep. Sounds like a very scary night (((hugs)))

Jen said...

how scary. hope he is completely better soon

JuliaS said...

Oh {{hugs}} Kristin! I hope everyone is on the mend and no more scary moments for you.

I understand - once I realized that bad things can and do happen and can and do happen to me, I was afraid of everything, for a time. (time has made it a bit easier to cope with). If dh were ever 5 minutes late from work - I'd freak, imagining the worst. If a kid slept longer than usual or was quiet too long - the worst, automatically assumed. I had a contingency plan of what I would do when - not if - something ever happened to dh. One of those scars of loss that you have to learn to live with.

My best wishes sweetie.

Quiet Dreams said...

That sounds so frightening! I hope he is back to 100% super soon.

Fat Chick said...

(((HUGS)))

You are such a good wife and mother! That was reaaly scary, and I'm glad he is better.

Another Dreamer said...

How scary hun :( I hope he is better soon, and I am sending you some (*hugs*)

Wishing 4 One said...

Thinking of Vic and wishing him a complete speedy recovery. When things like this happen and when we lose people like Brian it really makes us stop and think. I try to remember this daily, but sometimes I have to try harder than others. Thinking of you sweet Kristin. xoxoxoxoxox

Meari said...

I'm glad he's doing much better. Hopefully you both will get the needed rest.

Carrie27 said...

OH MY! I would have done the same thing - not sleep.

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