"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Rejection sucks!

Rejection sucks no matter how old you are. I know it shouldn't hurt when you don't even know the group that well but it does. I had joined a local knitting group and thought I found a group of women I really clicked with. Guess not. Yesterday, they had their yearly business meeting which was for long term members. Evidently, the group decided they were getting too big and decided to evaluate the newer members. The lovely ladies that met with me today say that I wasn't the only one they decided was not a good fit for the group and I was "asked" not to pay my dues or continue coming to meetings. They said they had some long term members who had said they didn't wish to come to meetings anymore because they were uncomfortable with some of the newer members. All the ladies told me today is that "we're a laid back group" and they mentioned a *"business proposal" I had asked a member about as reasons for feeling I wasn't a good fit. Let me tell you, it was all I could do to keep a smile on my face and act like nothing was bothering me.

Going out and spending money on lunch that you then have to eat in front of women who just said we don't want you in our group SUCKS. Rejection sucks.


*I asked one of the group leaders if she thought the company she worked for might be interested in an idea I had. I didn't ask her to be involved. I didn't ask her to present my idea. I didn't ask her to do a damned thing. I simply wanted her opinion.

Just read what I wrote and...Gawd, I sound like such a whiny little bitch.

OK...I just read y'all's responses and I have to say I love all of you!

44 comments:

Bionic Baby Mama said...

ew! they sound super-lame -- very middle school behavior. i'm sorry they hurt your feelings. they seem like a bunch of dumb losers, getting all snotty about their knitting circle, of all the things that aren't supposed to be exclusive.

you can come join my (imaginary) knitting circle, as long as you don't mind my not knitting.

Mrs. Gamgee said...

Ok.. who do I need to beat up?

Seriously, how junior high can you get? I know you know this, but they have just shown how small they are, and really that's not a group you want to be a part of.

I wish I could just find them and kick them in the shins or something. grrr.

Nina said...

Mrs. Gamgee and I are gonna form a tag team. The WWE has nothing on us. You should have gotten up and walked out, and not eaten lunch with them. If it were me, I might have made a scene. A loud one, involving "you bunch of stuck up bitches" and "Uncomfortable? I suppose so with those sticks up your asses." and then walked out singing "Ding, Dong, the witch is dead, Witch o Witch...". Assholes.

Kymberli said...

Good thing I sharpened my shank last night. Just point me in the right direction.

How the hell can a KNITTING group be exclusive? What kind of BS is THAT? I think you should start a knitting group of your own. One that isn't comprised of a snobby group of biznatches.

Thug love, my friend.

areyoukiddingme said...

All I can say is that you should watch out for your idea suddenly appearing at that lady's company...

That's totally lame, anyway.

loribeth said...

Whaaaaaaa??!! Are you serious? I agree, how totally junior high. I would probably have said to heck with lunch & walked out then & there.

Who knew knitting groups could be so cliquey??

JuliaS said...

Wow - I can see I am not the only one who thinks they are acting like a bunch of middle school snobs . . .

Kristin - I hope you know how undeserving they are of your membership. Utterly lacking in class and manners.

Kymberli - I say we take sandpaper to the ends of their bamboo needles. Nothing worse than roughed up needles when you're trying to knit with something delicate like angora . . . . . . **evil grin**

Suzy said...

That is total BS! That's crazy!

MrsSpock said...

Reminds me of a local mom's group I "tried out" after J was born and I was staying home with him. Had a very uncomfortable dinner with a group of women who I had nothing in common with (very religious and I'm a heretic). I can't believe they voted YOU out. You are one of the friendliest gals in the ALI community.

Carrie27 said...

They have a limit on their members? Considering you have to pay to be in the group, wouldn't it make more sense to have more people so you could bring in more money?

Whatever, you don't need that crap in your life. You are a grown woman who doesn't need a bunch of catty women in your life. I do hope, though, you can find a better group of women to share your talent with.

Quiet Dreams said...

What a ridiculous clique! Rejection doesn't suck nearly as much as THEY DO. Their loss--FOR REAL--as they are not getting to know the wonderfulness that is you.

Grrrrrrrr.

laura debellas said...

That is so ridiculous. You are a real sweetie and I can't stand that people still treat other people like it's junior high school. HOw un adult like! Screw them!

Shannon said...

FatChick says: Ok, repeat after me: You are NOT a whiny little bitch. Hoo boy, I've had some seriously bad experiences with knitting groups. Why? Because 1) I'm a crocheter and 2) I'm fat. Seriously. I love it that being a crocheter is considered worse than being fat, but then, when you are both you are TOTALLY rejected. I'm considering joining the crochet guild, but not unless I get a car b/c meetings are way in the 'burbs. Having said that, I stay far, far away from knitting groups. It's middle school (not even high school!) all over again. Ewww.

Idgie said...

That is freaking INSANE!!!

I have never heard of a knitting group you had to pay to be a part of...mine is just comprised of my lifelong best friend, her MIL, and about 3 of her other friends. If you lived anywhere near me, you could definitely come join us. Most of the time it's just me, her and her mother in law that come, but I digress.

I'm taking up arms and sharpened bamboo knitting needles and coming to the next meeting to poke their lame ass junior high cliquey eyes out!!! I am so sorry they did that to you, how ridiculous can they get? You are better off without them in my opinion!

@Fat Chick- I was a crocheter for years before I started knitting. And I'm fat. LOL You can come join my knitting group, we wouldn't mind if you crochet!!! My problem with being a fat knitter is the lack of patterns for fluffy gals. They're disappointingly rare.

GeekByMarriage said...

This makes my heart hurt. I'm with Mrs. Gamgee! Let's kick the crap out of some knitters! I'll never understand that mentality.

They really need to grow the fuck up and get their heads out of their asses.

Like Kym said, start your own "Everyone is welcome" knitting circle.

Love you!

Maya said...

hey Kristin, I am so sorry this happened. I don't know if you remember me, but we sat next to each other at the holiday party/meeting.

I did not attend the meeting this past weekend and was really surprised to find out what happened. I feel terrible that people I counted as friends have acted like this and the lunch sounds absolutely HORRIBLE. I really am in shock over this. I am leaving the group because of this and there are other long-time members who are also leaving the group over this.

I really am sorry.

Jen said...

i'd tell them to shove their needles where the sun doesn't shine and walk out. gosh, I'm so sorry, they were probably jelous of you.

Bean said...

I would thank them for showing you now what complete bitches they are capable of being, before you became very attached to the group. Aren't you happy you found out now, and not 3 more years down the road? Shit talking bitches can SUCK IT.

rys said...

Junior High about describes it. You handled it with class.

That being said, I know how much rejection hurts. It's not being whiny to express that here. You found a group of what you thought were like-minded individuals. Their pettiness is on them, not on you. They don't reflect the spirit of what crafting is about. If they wanted a private club then perhaps they should have presented themselves as such and not post their existence in the public arena.

Mrs. Dreamer said...

K, although, Illinois might be a bit far, we welcome everyone who wants to sit and knit a bit (wow, that was dorky). Ain't no cover charge here - just a cup o' joe, some sticks and some string!

Really? Really? How old are these Knitting Nazis? Five? Pah. Grow up. And may their projects always end up lopsided (unless they're supposed to be).

You're now officially part of the Central Illinois chapter of the Wooly Boogers! Welcome,Kristin!

Emma said...

Come knit with me! I am in the market for a knitting group, but I think that I would be a bad fit for that particular group too ;)

Emma said...

Oh and, are you on Ravelry?? I am Cerdwin there if you want to friend me :)

Lavender Luz said...

Oh, Sweetie. That must have hurt. I am so sorry you went through that.

But you know what? Whenever I am in a similar situation these days, you know what my safe haven, my secret comfort is?

The ALI commmunity. I bet it's yours, too.

XOXO. Those ladies don't even realize their loss due to their foolish hubris. Poor them.

Dora said...

Those bitches rejected OUR Kristin?!?! Fuck 'em!

xoxo

Baby On Mind said...

That is one of the most ridiculous things I've heard in a while. You can go start you own group. They don't know what they are missing.

Fertility Chick said...

Are you kidding?! What a bunch of morons - I would have stabbed them with a knitting needle. No lie.

For what it's worth, a knitting circle with you would be bliss, especially if you'd teach me to knit!

battynurse said...

Wow. Sounds like a bitchy group. One your much better off without although I understand how much that probably hurt having them say that. I know it would have really hurt my feelings.

小湘 said...
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WiseGuy said...

I think it is completely their loss!!!

How old are they? 15 years?

Tanyetta said...
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Tanyetta said...

*taking off my earrings, rolling up my sleeves*

WHAT IN THE WORLD??????? I am so sorry this happened to you. As crazy as this might sound, they did you a favor. They allowed you to see that you should start your own chapter in your area.

What the hell does this mean? "they don't feel comfortable with the newer members?"

That is just funky and wrong!

Oh well, time to refine your ideas and start your own chapter! That is just crazy!

The last church I attended the women were serious knitters. I was invited to come and just bring the baby so they can take turns holding her. I don't know one thing about knitting and they opened their arms.

Sounds like this group you were attending will be digging their own ditch to fall into!

The hell with all of them! Blah!

Don't you love how I said church and hell in the same sentence? LOL

HUGS TO YOU~~~

stitcheranon said...

OMG how childish. Do you wanna be in my gang? Well you cant!
Sounds like something you get in infant school. I think you are better off out of it...very clique.
Start your own...informal, just turn up and knit and then go home. Find a coffee shop that will be happy for you to sit there and stitch. That is all we do.
Honestly, I bet they were all steriotypical USA TV style Cheerleaders!!!

Another Dreamer said...

Oh, that is BS! You're better off without such morons. You are a much better person than them too.

cysteract said...

WTH... I thought they would have moved on from play ground mentality by now ..no ?

You totally rock and if they can't see that they must be drinking some messed up stuff at those meetings..just sayin.

How about a rival group .. you'd be a great host ? ;-)

JJ said...

How incredibly stooopid of them. You are WAY more talented anyway--good grief--totally their loss.

Deb said...

Ditto what everyone else said. That really stinks and I hope that you can find a new group of knitters to hangout with.

niobe said...

I bet those mean knitting ladies will be even more "uncomfortable" when I grab those long pointy needles out of their chubby paws and JAB THEIR BEADY LITTLE EYES OUT!!!

Uh, figuratively speaking, of course.

Sheliza said...

aww, such jerks! Oh well I am sure there are much cooler broads to hang out with and do your thing. I would join the ranks of ass kickers in your defense! Love ya girl :)

NHStitcher said...

Wow, what a bunch of snotty bitches. I'm so sorry this happened.

Barb said...

argh! shits!

come knit w/ me. i need to be whipped into shape anyway

Krissi said...

That really does suck! The nerve! Well, find another group! Who needs them!

Soralis said...

That's just rude!

Meari said...

I really didn't think you sounded whiney, just hurt. Really, I think it just goes to show that they're a "clique-y" kind of group. In these economic tough times, you'd think they'd want to expand membership if they can.

Willow said...

Oh, that is awful and really not cool! I'd be really upset and am sorry that happened to you! Hope you find a way better knitting group soon!