"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

The King Street Players present "What do you get when..."

I know its been a while since we've had a King Street Players Production but I truly have to wait until inspiration or insanity strikes. For all of you who love Gabe's laugh and think he is adorable, I wish I had the camera rolling earlier. If you've never had the pleasure of attending one of our productions, you are in luck because this one has a very small cast of characters. Kristin (moi) stars in the roll of EM or Evil Mom and Gabe has his breakout performance as TDB also known as The Demon Briel.

Welcome to the premiere presentation of "What do you get when..."
Act 1 Scene 1
The curtain pulls back to a peaceful dinner scene. Everyone is quietly eating except for the youngest and he is putzing...a bite here, a bit of playing there, and not much progress is being made with dinner. All of a sudden TDB gets up and storlls out to the den and leaves his dinner behind.

EM: Gabe, come eat dinner.

silence follows, punctuated by crickets chirping

EM:
raising voice a bit to get response Gabriel!
TDB: What?
EM: Come back in here and finish dinner.
TDB: Ok

more silence, more crickets chirping, and still no TDB returning to the table


EM:
I said NOW!
TDB: sounding for all the world like a put upon tween I'm coming

TDB sort of stomps back to table and begins putzing around again. He is doing anything and everything except eating.

TDB: stands up I'm done.
EM: No you aren't. You have barely eaten. Sit back down.
TDB: yelling and still standing I SAID I"M DONE.
EM: You have two choices. You eat or you go to bed. Which is it going to be?
TDB: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
EM: No is not an option. Eat or go to bed!

Much screaming, wailing, and thrashing around commence.

EM: Cut the crap kid. I said you can eat or go to bed.
TDB: Eat

So, EM gets his bowl and is going to help him.

TDB: screams NOOOOOOOO upon sight of the bowl, takes a swing at the bowl and says I DON'T WANT TO EAT!
EM: grabs TDB's hand Ok, then its bed.

TDB kicks it into high gear. He wails, drops his legs out from under him, thrashes around, refuses to walk, tries to pull the clothes back on, tries to prevent the pajamas from going on, screams some more, tries to hit EM a few times, tries to kick a few times, and, generally, is a royal pain in the ass. EM knows this is half because TDB is tired and half because he is hungry so she continues to change him and persist through all this.

TDB: NOOOOOOOO BED!
EM: Are you ready to eat then?
TDB: NOOOOOOOOO EAT. STOP. LEAVE MY CLOTHES ALONE. NO PAJAMAS. NO BED!

EM finally get TDB's clothes off. TDB is still screaming and fighting. EM knows TDB won't sleep well if he doesn't eat so she asks her oldest to fix TDB a peanut butter sandwich.

TDB: NOOOOO LUNCH. I WANT DINNER!
EM: No, I'm sorry. You lost that privilege. You get a sandwich.
TDB: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

After 5 more miutes of struggle, EM finally gets on TDB's pajamas. When he catches site of the peanut butter sandwich, TDB quiets down and eats. EM decides she is too damned tired for Act 1 Scene 2 and puts TDB to bed.
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I think a night like this with Gabe qualifies as a mega-dose of birth control.
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BTW, check out my friend Jen's blog for an awesome giveaway. Also, check out her husband Phil's blog to see some absolutely awesome photography.

11 comments:

Flying Monkeys said...

LOL! We've had those days. And I agree, they usually come around the time I get "the itch" to pull out the protocols again. It quiets down quickly. : )

battynurse said...

Wow. Now this scares me.

Barb said...

hahahaa. And I know I won't be laughing at all when it's me!!!

My nephew is in this phase at the moment. ack!

Jen said...

telepathy. that is what Gabe and Bean must have. I could have written that post about Bean and dinner last night, it was bad. Today isn't starting out much better...bad me for not being able to find her cinderella dress.

rys said...

ROFL! I've had a few days like this! It's funny (and frustrating!) when the little ones think they can call the shots! I hope Gabe has a better day today!

Quiet Dreams said...

Wow, you are SUCH an Evil Mom (lol). Glad that's over...hope today is much better.

Tanyetta said...

OH yes. He is strong willed don't you love it? :)

Heidi said...

I remember those days like they were yesterday, oh wait, it was yesterday! My kids are a bit older but the attitude is the same.LOL.

Another Dreamer said...

Well, he has a strong personality... that's going to be a good thing, someday, right? LOL Of course, right now I'm sure that is no consolation!

Wishing 4 One said...

This totally scares me too. I am laughin now, sorry, but I am sure I won't be when its my child. LOLLLLLL. Oh and evil moms don't give them sandwiches after Act 1, you are so not evil girl!

Beautiful Mess said...

SHIIIIIT! I hate nights like those! They only last an hour, but you feel as if you've been run over by a truck! Hope you're all rested and recovered by now.
*HUGS*