Aug. 19th ~ Day of Hope

Day of Hope: "A day to give, a day to remember, a day to speak out. All children are miracles." Take a moment to go over and read about this day and what it means. Today, I am posting in memory of my little Eva and the other 7 babies I lost. I remember and celebrate Adam Michael Seip and Bridgitt Kelly. I remember and celebrate the lives so many of you have conceived but never got to hold. Please add a thought or a name in the comments.

EdenFantasys Review: Pearl Lotus by Cal Exotics NSFW

I'm a lucky, lucky girl because I get to review another goody for the wonderful folks at Eden Fantasys. Yes, I have another chance to try out a brand new adult toy and all I had to do in return was review it and give my honest opinion to you my loyal readers. The only compensation I received for this review with the gift of the toy I'm reviewing.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow, I get to use two skills together that I haven't had to use together in a long time...my medical knowledge and my writing and editing ability. Tomorrow, those skills mean I have to revisit a day almost 2 years past. Tomorrow, I am helping my mother-in-law gather the final information she needs and proof reading what she wrote so she can file an official complaint regarding my father-in-law's death.

See, he didn't have to die. He had surgery for cancer and they got it all. It was such a clean removal that he wasn't even going to need chemo or radiation. He had been given a clean bill of health and the doc expected him to live for years. But, two things happened that shouldn't have happened. For two days, when he was stuck in a hospital bed, they forgot to put his *compression stockings on and, less than an hour before he died, his nurse insisted on giving him a shot of insulin despite his blood sugar being below 90 and despite the fact that both of them questioned it. When he died, he died so quickly. If I had to bet on it, I would almost guarantee he threw a clot...probably a pulmonary embolism. When that happens, the person is usually lost immediately. Because my MIL didn't have an autopsy done, we can't say without a doubt what caused him to die so suddenly and that very likely means this complaint won't go anywhere. But, in my heart of hearts and in my medically oriented brain, I know it shouldn't have happened. Sigifredo Cruz-Vega should still be here today.

Tomorrow...I'm not sure I want it to come...but it will and I will because I owe it to him.

BlogHer10 Photo Post - Day 3

This is gonna be a long post y'all. I have a bunch of pics and I don't really want to split it into two groups so YOU MUST SUFFER....bwahahahahahahaha! BTW, all the pics are clickable and the larger pic opens in it's own window.
me with the Jimmy Dean sun...
the Rachel Ray show was here later in the day

Rys, Chef Jill Houk, me...
she is an incredibly cool lady

Rys, Ronald McDonald, meThis next picture isn't the best one in the bunch but it is one of the most important pictures I took. Like I said before (I think cause I'm too lazy to go check), the sessions and meeting people were the most important part of BlogHer10 for me. And, this session was the key moment of the whole conference for me. All the lovely people you see in the picture below have gone through some sort of immense tragedy in their life and, in some cases, the whole story actually played out online. These people are some of the most courageous people I've had the pleasure of meeting. They got up there and talked about some incredibly painful things and talked about how the community we've built helped get them through it. They confirmed one thing I have felt for a long time. You people out there, those of you I've laughed with and cried with and celebrated with and loved with, you aren't my friends who live in the computer. You are plain and simply MY FRIENDS...no qualifiers needed, no other explanations given. I don't care if we've met a bunch of times or we've only talked online. The internet has changed the way we meet and make friends and, I for one am thankful.
Cecily Kellogg, Loralee Choate, Kim Trimble and Anissa and Peter Mayhew
the panel from the Grief, Loss, Tragedy,
and Community on the Internet session
These next pictures are from the parties that went on that final night...
me at the Eden Fantasys party...
click on the pic if you want to see our arts and crafts project

The arts and crafts projects Rys and I made
at the Eden Fantasys party

me and Rys with Snape

Rys, Vader, me

the Sparklecorn Cake from Charm City Cakes

lots of people I don't know dancing at Sparklecorn

me, Tonya,and Rys lounging on a bed near the dance floor
at CheeseburgHer...don't you love our hats

the lovely Amy and Rhonda from Southern Fried Snark

you know it's time to call it a night when the Dark Lord
is bandaged and stretched out on a bed at CheeseburgHer

Tune in tomorrow for my final picture post from BlogHer.

My Protest

*A heads up that this post contains words and slurs that are objectionable because I am talking about how they should be stricken from use.

I posted yesterday about an abuse of language and a mistreatment of people that is going on during the Toronto mayoral campaign. I was so upset by the story of what was going on that I was moved to email all those involved. Here's the letter...

For shame gentlemen!

I know in this modern era that political campaigns often devolve into mud slinging battles but HOW DARE YOU center your campaign around a word that is so hurtful to so many. What word and behavior am I talking about? I'm talking about Mr. Ford using the word retarded to refer to someone being so shortsighted as to not see the obvious. I am talking about Mr. Smitherman's total lack of judgment in plastering Mr. Ford's quote across website with electronic postcards. And, I am talking about the feeding frenzy that the media seems to be indulging in, pictures and all, without regard to the minority that word hurts. For so many years, people with mental disabilities have been devalued, disregarded, and ignored. We make adjustments (but not as many as we should) to structures and rules so people with physical disabilities can be active members of society. We strike words like spic and wetback and nigger (yes, the dreaded n-word) from our language because they are derogatory and hurtful to minorities who are valued members of society. But, we can't stop using the word retarded as an insult? What does that say to society about the value of these people?

I'm not black. I'm not physically handicapped. I'm not a repressed minority of any type. I'm not even a resident of Toronto or Canada. Despite this, I am standing up for the rights of the mentally handicapped. I'm demanding that you, Mr. Ford, stop using this term as an insult. You are asking the people of Toronto to trust you to run their city. Show your intelligence by using words that appropriately describe a situation, not words that demoralize a part of your constituency that you should be protecting. And, Mr. Smitherman, stop using this as a campaign tactic right now. Sure, it makes Mr. Ford out to be less of a decent person but, in doing so, you are hurting the very people you are pretending to be offended for. And, media members, stop giving this juvenile slugfest more of a life than it should have. If you must report on this insanity, at least have the decency to refer to it as the r word and DO NOT show any more of those electronic postcards. When this term is bandied about to insult others, you are perpetuating the repression of the mentally handicapped and you are continuing to devalue their voice. I speak up for these people because it is simply the right thing to do. I hope, if I am ever in a similar situation, someone might do the same for me.

Sincerely,
Kristin Cruz
******** St.
Cary, NC *****

Sadly, only one of the three people (Mr. Ford) this letter was addressed to has bothered to respond respond. And, while Mr. Ford did take the time to respond, he doesn't seem to get the fact that it is his misuse of the language that precipitated this debacle and says "Please don't let my political opponents convince you that this means I have anything but respect and empathy for people with disabilities." Furthermore, he doesn't bother to say he will stop using the word retarded as an insult and only says "If you were offended by my comments, I apologize." In my opinion it is a half-assed response to a situation that deserves so much more.

Perfect Moment Monday: a blast from the past

Lori over at Weebles Wobblog says that "Perfect Moment Monday is more about noticing a perfect moment than about creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between."

I recently got to travel through the wayback machine and, thanks to facebook, reconnected with a bunch of people I went to elementary school an junior high with. And, as fun as seeing all the pics of me from elementary school was, the pics were not the perfect moment. The perfect moment was a message I got as a result of reconnecting with these classmates. The message was...

Hey Kristin,
I was really happy to see you on FB and humbled when you sent me a friend request.
I was such a little jerk to you and have thought about that often.
I have raised two daughters and realized (been Taught) how things said by another child can be taken hard.
You look GREAT and so happy.
I deeply apologize for being THAT jerk on the bus. I hope you can forgive me one day.

I think it takes a lot of guts and a lot of insight to come forward so many years later and recognize your childhood behavior for what it was. This guy has grown into a fine man and I'm proud to count him as a friend. Getting this message just made my day.

Go check out the other perfect moments at this week's Perfect Moment Monday on Weebles Wobblog.

****************************************

By the way, please take a moment to read my previous post. It covers something that is really important.

Outrage OutLoud

Dave Hingsburger of Rolling Around In My Head has a very important post up. I am going to quote the whole thing here but, if you feel moved to either repost or take action as he asks, I am going to ask that you GO LET HIM KNOW.

IN DAVE'S WORDS...

Warning: This post will be using a quote that includes the 'r' word. It is done only for the purposes of information and without the intent of promulgating the use of the word.

Toronto is less safe for people with intellectual disabilities now that people with disabilities are being defamed as part of the mayoralty campaign. I was innocently watching the news when a poster filled the screen. The poster had a picture of candidate Rob Ford beside a word bubble which said: You’d have to be retarded if you can’t see frickin’ water in front of you. I was brought up short. My heart started to pound and my teeth clenched. The 'R' word has a profound and negative impact on me emotionally.

I've always hated that word, or rather, the use of that word in hateful ways for the purpose of devaluing others. It's a word that is an attack on who people with intellectual disabilities are as individuals and an attack on the minority constituency to which they belong. It's a word that is outrageously harmful and it is used, no matter what people say, with full knowledge and intent. That the word hurts others has also been clearly stated by people with intellectual disabilities themselves, by their families and by the organizations that provide them support. This is not news.

At Vita Community Living Services, we were issued a challenge by our self advocate group. We were asked what we were going to do to make the community safer, to make the community a place where they could go without fear of hearing the 'r' word tossed about. We responded by creating a campaign wherein we distributed the words hit cards to all our members and all our staff, eventually we distributed them to self advocate groups and organizations around the world. We wanted to actively engage those who used the word. Further we developed a version of the card for Gay Pride where we marched for the first time. Our goal was both to confront those who use the word as well as to begin to build unity with other groups who have experienced negative taunts out of the mouths of bigots.

Then comes the campaign for the mayor's seat and because we live in modern times the discussion and debate has become nasty. The George Smitherman camp has decided to use words out of the mouth of candidate Rob Ford to bring him down. As such they created a website with electronic postcards that contain various quotes from the public record said by Rob Ford on various issues. One of the quotes uses the word 'retarded' in reference to signage. This campaign was everywhere. I saw it in the newspapers, I saw it on television, I easily found it on the web. I actually sent the electronic postcard to Manuela, Vita's Executive Director, both so she could see it as well as to find out how easy it is to simply forward this kind of hateful stuff onwards - it's easy.

I was angered.

At Rob Ford for using the word in this manner.

At George Smitherman for choosing this quote to highlight and as a result making the 'r' word so visible, so public, so accessible.

I was angered.

By the media for not bringing a disability perspective to the story. I can't imagine the media, had another word been used to disparage another minority, not interviewing or speaking to spokespeople wounded or damaged by that word.

I think Ford and Smitherman and even the Toronto media believe that we are a passive minority that might be offended but that will be silent. I think that all of us who have justifiable outrage at Ford's use of the word and Smitherman's promulgation of the word will simply shake our heads and go quietly away.

No more silence.

I immediately wrote both Ford and Smitherman. I demanded that Ford apologize for his use of the word and that he 'take the pledge' not to use the word again in that manner. I demanded that Smitherman take that electronic postcard off the site, apologize for choosing that quote and 'take the pledge'. I, of course, have heard nothing back from either side.

Here's where you come into the picture. I have a large daily readership. Many of you are faithful commenters. I would like you to take just five minutes from your day and contact both Ford and Smitherman and if you have time also a note to City Television which has a popular news programme here in Toronto. I'd also ask that you leave a comment here in the comment section to let me know that you've done this. It's a lot to ask. But we have to start using the muscle of our numbers and the motivation of our anger to make our voices heard. Don't worry if you are from outside of Toronto or outside of Canada, the international movement against the 'r word' needs to been seen, felt and most importantly heard. I have this wonderful image of those of you who live in parts of the world that are reading this just after publishing at midnight here in Toronto immediately writing letters, I imagine the Ford and Smitherman people openning their emails in the morning to discover international outrage. I imagine and I hope.

For those of you who have a personal blog, disability themed or not, who are looking for something to blog about, please join in and maybe we can blogswarm this topic. It's inappropriate for public figures to speak disparagingly of any member of the disability community. If you do blog about this, put the link in the comments so we can all visit and get a sense of the length and breadth of our community.

Here's how you get in touch:

Rob Ford who used the word:

Campaign Address
245 Dixon Road
Toronto, Ontario
M9P 3T4

Phone: 416.628.8576

E-mail: rob@robfordformayor.ca


The George Smitherman Campaign who is distributing the quote containing the word:

70 The Esplanade, Suite 201
Toronto, ON
M5E 1R2

T. 416.342.9674

E. info@georgesmitherman.ca

To a media outlet in Toronto:

news.to@citynews.ca

The world needs to be made safe for all - and we are finally realizing that we are part of 'all'.

Thanks 'y'all' for reading, for writing, for protesting, for expressing outrage.

Outrage OutLoud!

I know many of you may wonder why the issue of disabled people's rights is so important to me. Well, there are a lot of reasons. First of all, my brother-in-law has muscular dystrophy. When I think of rights like accessibility, I think of him. And, I have many friends and relatives that are considered a part of a minority. I would be raging if there was a political campaign that used a derogatory slang term for a minority so publicly. Why should I be any more accepting of a campaign that uses a name, a word, that is hurtful to a mentally disabled minority? If this issue affects you in any way, please consider contacting this narrow minded politicians and letting them know how wrong they are...and, once you've done that, let Dave know too.

BlogHer10 Photo Post - Day 2 lunch onward

Here's the second half of the shitload of pictures I took on Day 2 of BlogHer...

After lunch with the lovely ALI ladies, I managed to meet up with one character I had missed earlier, the Pillsbury Doughboy.
me with the Pillsbury DoughboyAnd, being completely addicted to pictures, I couldn't resist taking a few pictures out my hotel window. Looking out my window on the 20th floor, I caught site of something on the roof of a nearby building that intrigued me. The first picture is without zoom and the second is zoomed in on my little point and shoot camera...
the circle part is in the picture below

roof top gardensLook at those two roof top gardens. Aren't they gorgeous? I can only guess how much something like that costs in New York. I took these pics when I stopped over in my room on the way upstairs to meet the lovely and talented and very funny, Cecily Kellogg.
me with Cecily of Uppercase Woman
I wish I had pictures of the sessions for you but, the pictures I took just don't convey the impact and power and humor of the sessions I went to. So, the next pics I have are during the Voices of the Year Gala on Friday. There was an extensive gallery (maybe I should say galleries) of the artwork inspired by the Voices of the Year nominees and there was a ton of activities...fabulous balloons, places we could create artwork with others, a photographer taking amazing pics with a vintage polaroid camera.
Rys and the balloons

Rys adding to the artwork

wonder if there is a story behind this...
and, boy do I hope the owner found this gorgeous shoe

part of a long row of pedal cab drivers dressed
up like Mario...outside of the hotel

they wore their Tutus for Tanner all day

Rys and me at the GalaThank you for indulging me and taking a peak at my pics. I honestly planned on finishing this up by today but I have two more days of pics to share.

BlogHer10 Photo Post - Day 2 through lunch

I have faced a realization. I take a shitload of pictures. In fact, even selecting only the best, I have enough pics from Day 2 that I need to split this into 2 posts. So, drumroll, here's the first half of Day 2 of BlogHer.

At breakfast, we got to meet Bruce Jenner. I have to say he was unfailingly patient and quite willing to take picture after picture. I know that's his job as a spokesman but, I have to say, he does it well.

Rys, Bruce Jenner, meBetween sessions, we had a chance to meet all kinds of cartoon characters from video games and children's tv.

me and the Rabbid Rabbit

me, Dora the Explorer, Boots, Rys

Rys, Elmo, meLunch was one of the things I was looking forward to the most. I was finally going to meet so many of the ladies in the ALI (adoption, loss, and infertility) community. These are women I have celebrated and mourned with. I have found support and love and acceptance. I have found people who truly grasp what we went through to get my Gabriel here. I know these are just pictures of me with other people but, this is what BlogHer is all about...meeting and connecting with people who inspired you, creating a community in real life as well as online. This is what makes it so special and these are some of the most fabulous people I know.

Dora of My Preconceived Notion and
Calliope of Creating Motherhood

Mel of Stirrup Queens and me

Mel of Stirrup Queens, Dora of My
Preconceived Notion, me, and
Kir aka DaisyGal of Kir's Corner
Come on back later for the rest of Day 2.

Embrace Your Body Week 2010

I almost missed out on this but the fabulous and stunning DaisyGal of Kir's Corner put her post up yesterday. To quote both the Mommyologist and DaisyGal...

The Mommyologist is doing something so amazing this week. It's Called Embrace Your Body Week 2010!!!The MOMMYOLOGIST says... "Too often as women, and in particular, as moms, we look in the mirror and put ourselves down on a daily basis. We make comments about our bodies such as, “My thighs are so fat.” ”I wish that I could lose my belly pooch.” ”I hate my cottage cheese ass”, and so on and so forth. Let me ask you a question: How do you feel about yourself after you make those derogatory comments? Like shit, right? Well, Embrace Your Body Week is about getting rid of all of those negative remarks and accepting and being happy with WHO YOU ARE. Right now. At this point in your life…no matter what your shape and size may be."So in order to participate and CELEBRATE my body, here as I am CELEBRATING my 40th Birthday year (Yep ALL YEAR LADIES!!)

I adore my eyes. I love the color. I love how sometimes they
seem really green and, other times, they look more hazel.
I love how expressive they are and

I love how they sparkle when I really smile.

Yup, I have to admit that I adore my boobs.

They give me a wonderful shape and are
pretty damned incredible.

My mouth has an incredible shape. I love the classic

bow shape. But, even more than the shape, I love
that my mouth allows me to speak words of

encouragement, love, and support.My hair rocks. I adore the curls and I think the

purple color is pretty damned fabulous.

So, what do you love about your body? What makes you feel pretty and sexy? Celebrate the many shapes of womanhood with us.

Did I tell you my hubby was in an accident?

I don't think I did. A week ago Monday (the 2nd), Vic was on his way home from work and was sitting at a stop light. The left turn lane started to move and the idjit behind him caught sight of the moving cars and, without looking up from his cell phone, he stepped on the gas. He then looked up and realized his lane still had a read light. His full sized pick up truck slammed into the back of my hubby's Ford Taurus. The force actually lifted the rear end of the car up. His hitch punched a hole in the bumper, totally bowed the trunk, and broke the weld on the steel plate that is the rear part of the frame. Thank God they were at a stop light because the speed wasn't high enough to hurt Vic even though his car has been officially totaled.

Once again, my family has stepped up and saved us a shitload of money. My parents have a van that they bought a number of years ago when they were helping transport a handicapped friend. When they were done using it, it went to my middle sis and her husband. Now, it is coming to Vic and me. The van needs some repairs but we should be able to complete them for less than 1/4 of the insurance money. This completely ROCKS because we will have money left to save for Christmas and other things rather than having to use it all as a down payment and end up with monthly car payments.

So...now Vic will have to change his theme song from "Up on Cripple Creek" to John Boy and Billy's "Married Man" (sung to the Spiderman music)...

lyrics transcribed from the Married Man On Mother's Day video

Married man, married man
drives around in a minivan
got a wife and some kids
his whole life's on the skids
hey there, there goes the married man

How's he feel, listen dude
this poor guy's really screwed
hanging on by a thread,
quart of milk, loaf of bread
hey there, there goes the married man

Got a big gas grill
buys his clothes at the Gap
and he's just about
had enough of this crap

Married man, married man
friendly neighborhood married man
life for him has no zing
wife won't let him do a thing
She says it's about time he grew up
wherever there's a screw up,
you'll find the married man

One thing we did learn from this escapade is keep track of your car title. Evidently, we lost our copy of Vic's car title when we moved and, in NC, it takes 15 frakking days to get a copy of a car title. So, we are having to get the insurance company to take the car rental costs for the next two weeks out of our settlement...ugh.

Oh well, at least my hubby is safe and sound.

BlogHer10 Photo Post - Day 1

Okay y'all...I am really, really trying not to have this be all I write about this week but it's hard. To write about other things, I have to be back in reality and, well, that sucks just a little...not my life or reality sucks but letting go of the fun and fabulousness of BlogHer sucks. As you can see by the total lack of proper grammar, my brain is not quite ready for a full return to reality so it's time for pictures.
The Hilton New York

Dora of My Preconceived Notion
and her Sunshine

A Judaica store next to a Tarot card reader...
only in New York

Flipping the bird for Aunt Becky...
from l to r - Rys, The Daver, me

Sheri, Lori of Weebles Wobblog, me

Rys and me making Tutus for Tanner

meeting the Bloggess in the Bathroom

the fabulous desserts of Queerosphere

more fabulous dessert from Queerosphere

me with the indomitable Anissa
and her husband Peter
I truly can't begin to express in words just how amazing this weekend was and hope just a little bit of it comes through in the pictures.

BlogHer10 in NYC

I had an absolutely phenomenal time and I highly recommend starting your plans for BlogHer11 in San Diego. There was more swag than anyone could possibly need and, at least from what I saw, there was no pushing and shoving and rudeness to get ahold of it. There were opportunities to take pictures with Bruce Jenner, the Jimmy Dean sun guy, Ronald McDonald, the Pillsbury Doughboy, the incredible Chef Jill Houk from Hillshire Farms, Dora the Explorer, Elmo, the Rabbid Rabbit, and so many more.

The parties were incredible. They were all a bit different and they all rocked. The People's Party was a wonderful way to open the conference and I had so much fun helping make tutus for the 5K Charity run, Tutus for Tanner, for Her Bad Mother's nephew. I have to send serious kudos out to the organizers of Queerosphere. It was truly and incredible event. The main Gala on Friday night was awesome and the art that was inspired by all the Voices of the Year nominees was incredible. And, the final parties on Saturday were incredible. The part (off site) sponsored by Eden Fantasys was a blast. It never occurred to me that decorating a dildo could be so much fun. The Sparklecorn ladies did a phenomenal job planning and decorating for the party. I think the t-shirts given away at Sparklecorn were the BEST ones of the conference. There were cardboard cut outs of Mr. Spock (new one), Obama, Darth Vader, and the Dorothy, the tinman, and the scarecrow in attendance. The Darth man even made it over to CheesburgHer. Evidently, he had some sort of accident or party foul occur because he appeared to have some sort of bandage on his head. There were tons of cool hats at the CheesburgHer party and it was loads of fun lazing on the beds that circled the ballroom. I do believe CheeseburgHer is the ONLY place you can order mixed drinks and a McDonald's cheeseburger.

But the thing that made BlogHer for me were all the utterly amazing, totally kick ass women (and a few men) I met. The ladies leading the sessions I went to were open, honest, funny, and touching. I got to meet the lovely ALI ladies, some big name bloggers I've wanted to meet, and many others I seemed to connect with so quickly. I spent time with one of my best friends in the whole world, the kick ass Rys of Confessions of a Clutter Queen. And, I got to be part of something big...something called BlogHer that produces stories like that of Karen and the Blogess's red dress (go read it now, seriously...it is an amazing story of strength and sisterhood).

To put it simply, I'll quote the incomparable Anissa Mayhew "People who say that blogging isn't important can kiss my ass."

Now, I just have to figure out how to afford the travel costs to San Diego for BlogHer11!


PS...I promise pics are coming. I just need to find time to edit them.

BlogHer10 Over and Out

Well, at least the official festivities are over. I still have the ALI get together tomorrow morning but the official BlogHer is done. I have met so many amazing women. I've been to some phenomenal sessions, listened to some unbelievable keynote addresses, and been to some kickass parties. But, oh my aching feet, I am tired. I have tons of pictures and tons of stories...and, if anyone sees Cecily K, ask her about the lap dance at CheeseburgHer.

Lots more to come later when I've had some sleep and am a bit more coherent.

Happy Birthday Vic!

Happy Birthday to the most wonderful of husbands. I love you more and more everyday. Thank you so much for helping me get to BlogHer even though it meant I would be gone on your birthday.

Happy 300th Blog Roundup

The fabulous Melissa over at Stirrup Queens has been doing a blog round up since way back on July 21, 2006. Each week she features 4 or 5 posts that really made an impact on her and offers them up for us to read too. I have to join in on the celebration fun and show you the cake I had to celebrate the blog round up birthday.While the key lime cheesecake from the Magnolia Bakery was pretty freaking incredible, what is more important is what it represents. I had this delectable cake while spending time with a fabulous woman I met through this ALI community. Dora has become a dear friend and is just one of many amazing women this community has brought into my life. We've laughed together. We sure as hell have cried together. But most importantly, we've grown to love each other. Y'all will hold a piece of my heart forever.

To quote Melissa...

Happy 300th (200th) Roundup to you

Happy 300th (200th) Roundup to you

July 21st marked four years

Happy 300th (200th) Roundup to yooooooooou.

Thursday in NYC

I have had such a wonderful time. I got to the hotel a little before noon on Thursday and checked in. While I was waiting for my room to be ready, I had some awesome (and awesomely expensive) onion rings and got to witness the chaos when the water main burst in te back of the lobby of the Hilton. I have to say, I was completely impressed with the speed the staff responded with and how quickly they got it taken care of. The funniest sight during the chaos was the lady in the uber expensive shoes who hopped onto a baggage cart and the patient understanding hotel employee who wheeled her through the water so her shoes wouldn't get ruined. Kudos to that staff member.

I managed to meet up with Dora from My Preconceived Notion and got to play with her precious Sunshine. What a cutie that girl is! Dora is such a kind and beautiful lady. Dora and I cruised on over to the Magnolia Bakery for some cake (and cake pictures of course) and Dora didn't even get upset with me when I let Sunshine have a little bit of whipped cream. On the walk back to the hotel, I made friends (LOL) with a guy working a food cart near the corner. He tried to convince me that next time I dye my hair, I should dye it to match my eyes.

When I got back, Rys was here. Wooohooo! It has been so long since I have actually spent time with her. After chilling out for a little while, we had some pizza at a cool little pizzeria a few blocks away from the hotel. As fab as the pizza was, I immediately regretted actually eating dinner when we saw the spread at the parties. The People's Party was a lot of fun and I got to meet a couple of bloggers I've been wanting to meet. Rys and I also helped make tulle tutus for the 5k charity run for Her Bad Mother's nephew. We also went to the Queerosphere party and the food there was truly amazing. We were so glad we ran into the lady who organized it so we could tell her what an amazing job she had done.

I can't decide whether it is sad or fabulous that we were in bed and almost asleep by midnight. I mean here we are in New York without kids and husbands and we elect to go to bed. God I must be getting old.

More to come later...and don't worry, I've taken tons of pics.

I'm in New York and I'm an idiot...

The bus ride was smooth and I slept almost the whole way. The subway and short walk to the hotel weren't a problem. I bet you're asking "Then why is she an idiot?" You know that cell phone I went to so much trouble to have in time for this trip. Well, that cell phone is still in NC and I'm not. I also left my video camera at home. Thank God I have my head permanently attached or I might have forgotten that.

BlogHer Bound

In just under 14 hours, I'll be getting on the bus and heading to New York City. I am excited beyond belief. Does it make me a total geek to admit I was so excited last night that I has trouble falling asleep?You know, I have traveled all over the world and I can't remember the last time I was this excited about something. Geez, I can't even blame the excitement on going to NYC because I've been there before. I'm excited because I'm getting away without the kids (I love them, I really do but it will be so nice to operate on my schedule for a change, to be an adult all the time). I'm also so, so excited about meeting all of you guys. I hope I don't disappoint.
I guess I should try and describe myself a bit. I'm a hugger. I will try and hug you when we meet so, if that bugs you, do what Mel suggested and "approach me with hands raised." I'll talk to anybody and everybody so please, please find me if I don't find you first. I'm signed up to go to a bunch of parties and am overwhelmed by the sessions I want to go to but, you know what, friends come first and I WILL find time to hang with y'all. I have a bunch of business cards and, if you don't ask me for one, don't be surprised if one shows up in your stuff anyway. Also, please, please give me your card if you have one. I have a cool idea on how to use them when I get home.
Ummmm, getting in touch with me...I'll have my phone with me so feel free to text or call me if you have the number. I'll also have a computer with my so sending me a DM via Twitter or and email will work too. Also, please approach me if you see me and don't be offended if I stumble over your name. I SUCK with names and I would be totally lost without the name tags they are giving us.ALI crowd...the consensus for the get together seems to be that kids are ok for the get together. We will be offering garlic aioli kid-dip instead of ketchup because, as it was pointed out, we'll be in foodie New York. We'll be gathering in the lobby Sunday morning. I will try and have my shit together and be down there by about 10 am. Since I haven't been to the hotel, I don't know where we are going to want to hang out. Just look for me.

Oh yeah, since I keep saying look for me, I should describe myself...I'm short, fat (yeah fat), and rather exuberant. And, this is what my hair currently look like...Yeah, I've gone purple. Can't wait to be there and

What makes you happy?

I know we've all seen those silly little memes that ask for a list of 10 things that make you happy or a list of things you do for yourself. Honestly, I've done a couple of them and they were and are fun. However, I didn't really sit down and think about the difference in what makes me happy now versus what made me happy years ago until I got invited to participate in the Happiness Blog project sponsored by The DivaCup®.

When I was much younger, I had a lot of delusions about what I wanted my life to be like and how I would feel if I didn't have those things. I really thought I would have a high powered career of some sort and I vehemently did NOT want to be a stay at home mom. I thought I would wither away if I was stuck at home with kids. I also had dreams of making a LOT of money and being married to someone who made a bunch of money too. I thought I needed a big house and the trappings that go along with it. I really believed I would be miserable if I was ever fat. Damn, I was delusional. I didn't stop to think about the little things that make me happy.

When I grew up and entered the real world. I discovered that the things I thought were important really didn't matter worth a damn. The man I fell in love with, the man who is my soulmate, wasn't wealthy and he never will be. My husband has dedicated his life to public service. He has been an EMT, a police officer, a fire fighter, and, now he runs a 911 center. My husband is a man of honor who treasures me and our family. That is far more important and makes me much happier than a ton of money. I know he will always be here for me and he bends over backwards to make the little things available. As for that high powered career I thought I wanted, that went by the wayside. My heart called out for me to stay home with the kids and it has been well worth it. Sure, we've had to scrimp and save and do without, but I have gained so much. I've discovered that as long as I have my family, a roof over my head, and food to put in our stomachs, there isn't much else I need to be happy. Once I shed the notions that I wanted the material trappings, I learned to take the time to enjoy the sublime bliss of a quiet day or a beautiful sunset or an "I love you mommy" from my sons. On most days, having the chance to curl up with a good book or my crafty stuff brings me more pleasure than a loud, raucous party. I've also learned to embrace and be happy with my inner geek. Hell, I've turned my inner geek loose and embrace the pleasure of sci-fi escapism and the joy of conquering some new computer skill. Creating beauty and seeing the pleasure on the gift recipient's face is so much better than spending a lot of money on an expensive gift that will be used and discarded.

Sure, I can completely enjoy things money can buy. I'd be lying if I said I didn't. And, I would never turn it down if I suddenly had a lot of money offered to me. But, I don't need that to make me genuinely happy.

So, have your ideas of happiness changed? Do you find yourself pining for more or do you find yourself reveling in simplicity? Tell me all about it.


Part of bringing happiness to your life is simplifying things so you can enjoy it to the fullest. What makes you happy? How has your view of happiness evolved over time? The DivaCup offers a simple, worry free, eco-solution to women worldwide every month. Not a tampon, not a pad, finally a better way! www.divacup.com The DivaCup is donating $100 to Parenthood For Me...a charity that assists people pursuing parenthood... in the honor of Kristin Cruz of Dragondreamer's Lair.

The Kindness Within

Ladies and gents (well, I'm assuming there are a few gents out there reading), I had a lesson reinforced today. This lesson is one I know many of us in the ALI community forget and probably need to be reminded of from time to time. I know when we were in the midst of all of our losses, I would mentally beat myself up and heap the blame on my own shoulders. Frankly, it was far to easy to do and not a damned productive way to spend my energy. The brilliant Dave Hingsburger of Rolling Around In My Head said he has "worked really hard for many years towards the idea of safe places and safe harbours, of sanctuary. But what good is a safe place without when there isn't a safe place within?" His work is with and for the disabled but I think we can all learn a lesson here. When we expend so much energy beating ourselves up (often over something we don't control), we are denying ourselves that safe harbor, that place of retreat. Please go over and read about Ruby's Smile and relearn the lesson we all should hold dear.