"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Thursday, July 26, 2012

And then, his heart broke.

Yesterday, Joey's kitty, Butterball, passed away. About a week ago, my friend had noticed a small bump on Butter. Honestly, we didn't think it was anything serious (at least mot imminently serious) because Butter was a thin kitty...always had been...so you could tell if he ate a large meal. I was keeping an eye on him and Butter was acting normal. He was running to get canned food. On Monday and Tuesday, Butter was trying to steal Joey's dinner. He was acting like a normal kitty.

Then, yesterday morning after Joey left for his friend's house, I glanced over at Butter and the lump was visible and it was big. My first thought was "Oh God, if it's growing that fast, it has to be cancer." I didn't think we would have long but I was thinking in terms of days or weeks...not hours. Butter was still acting normal at that point.

By the time Joey got home, I could tell Butter didn't feel good but he didn't seem to be in pain. Joey immediately noticed the lump and I was faced with telling him I didn't think his kitty was going to make it. I explained that I thought it was cancer and told Joey that if I thought there was anything a vet could do that I'd find the money to pay for it. This was when Joey both impressed me and it broke my heart. Through his tears, Joey said "Can we take him in anyway? If they can't do anything and they tell us that he's in pain, it wouldn't be right to make him suffer. But mom, if they have to put him down, can you be in there with him? I don't want him to be alone but I don't think I can do it." Of course, I assured him I would be with Butterball.

Sadly, before we could leave, Butterball had a seizure. I bundled him up and we headed for the van. Luckily, Butter was calm at this point. Sadly though, Butter died in Joey's arms before we could even leave the driveway.

My heart is just breaking for my poor, sweet, kind-hearted boy. I wish I could take away the pain.