"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Saturday, April 02, 2011

B is for Boys

My post today was going to be B is for Boys Night Out but I haven't felt much like editing the pics and videos from last night. Last night, I felt deaf from the noise levels at the Monster Jam but this morning I woke up to a clogged right ear and a sinus headache.

So, since my lack of hearing and headache distracted me from editing the pictures, I thought I'd talk about my boys. See, I live in a *House of Testosterone and that is not something I ever imagined when I was growing up. I grew up in a house full of females and always imagined myself as the mother of daughters. When I was pregnant with my oldest, the ultrasound tech said three words that changed my life forever..."It's a boy!" My first thought other than "a baby, omg a baby" was "It's a boy...what the hell do I do with a boy." You have to understand, I wasn't disappointed. I just had no clue what to do with boys. Evidently, God thought that cosmic joke was pretty funny because I had two more boys. To make it even funnier, almost all our pets are male too. Once, I thought we were going to balance it out a little bit because my middle son got a kitten that was suppose to be a girl...it wasn't.

But, you know what. It's turned out to be pretty fabulous having boys. My boys are imaginative, creative, rough and tumble, quiet and gentle, and I can truly say there is never a dull moment when they are around. I've also learned things I never expected to learn. I can tell you the difference between front-end loaders and power shovels. I can also expound upon the differences between concrete and cement. More importantly, I've learned there is a critical problem affecting the men in our world known as Male Pattern Blindness or the congenital inability to see what needs to be picked up or put away despite it being right in front of their faces. And, even though it took me almost 2 years, I finally learned to stop saying
On my honor, I will try:
To serve God and my country,
To help people at all times,
And to live by the Girl Scout Law.
and replace it with
I promise to do my best
To do my duty to God and my country,
To help other people, and
To obey the Law of the Pack.
In a house full of boys, I never have to look for an excuse to watch basketball or NASCAR or, even on the rare occasion, watch Monster trucks. I am always assured of having someone to go to a Hockey game with. And, with a house full of boys, especially the bigfoot type I seem to breed, my fabulous shoes are safe from pilferage and unauthorized use.

Surrounded by all this testosterone means there are way to many fart jokes and belching contests being held. We also have enough Hot Wheels/Matchbox firetrucks to staff a department the size of FDNY. And, don't even get me started about the swords, lightsabers, ray guns, bb guns and other assorted toy weapons that populate my house. Some times there are so many boys and weapons running through my house that I think they are planning a hostile take over of the adjoining neighborhood. And, when they aren't planning to take over the world, you can often find them in the backyard with shovel in hand joining the ongoing excavation that will some day provide a direct route from central North Carolina to the coast of Australia.

All in all, they are wild and crazy and frequently loud and mud covered but they are my boys and I wouldn't have it any other way.

*I stole the title House of Testosterone from Sharon O'Donnell who wrote a brilliantly funny book by the same name.


Jen said...

Boys are great. my oldest boy is a great help, my youngest, no so much...he's more of a terror. My house is more estrogen...4 girls, me and 2 dogs.

dannifoley said...

It's funny because growing up it was my parents, my sister, myself and our female dog (so a mostly estrogen filled house). Then when I was 8 my mom had a baby boy and eventually our dog passed away so it was more even. Now that my sister and I have moved out it's the 2 guys and my mom and the testosterone drives her crazy!

Nina said...

The comment you made about "What the hell do I do with a boy?" Yeah, sounds eerily familiar! But, I'm learning as well. Soon, I'll have to learn football, I suppose. *sigh* And I wouldn't trade him for anything!

Kira said...

Whenever I picture my future kids, it's usually girls... I was a nanny for several years and all the families I worked for had mostly girls, and the few boys I did watch were not the stereotypical rough'n'rowdy boys. I have a feeling God will play a similar cosmic joke on me... But like you said, it wouldn't be disappointment. It will just very much be "what do I do with them?" and look at my husband beseechingly.

Tony Payne said...

Bringing up boys is a lot different to bringing up girls I have found. It's different, but both have their pros and cons. This was an excellent read and I can identify with it.

Anonymous said...

your boys sound awesome. :-)
Listen - I'm totally being a jewish mom here, but why are you still sick? Please get your butt to a doctor if you haven't already! *hugs*

Barb said...

I'm really loving having my one boy. If we adopt another, I think I'd like another boy. :) I'm with you. Both (used to be all 3) of my pets are boys, then I have Hub and E. I like being Princess Mommy.