I found out today that an 18 yr. old girl I know is pregnant. She has no biological family but she does have people that care for her and will be there for her. The father of her baby is a loser and things have been getting tenser and more volatile since they found out she is pregnant. This girl has a good head on her shoulders despite ending up in this situation. Despite her history, she already cares enough to consider the idea of adoption. Because of her history and her quite natural issues with abandonment, she is shying away from adoption. Part of the reason she has shied away from it is that she had been holding out hope that the baby's father would man up and do the right thing. I don't think he will and I think she is starting to feel that way as well.
When I was talking to the adults in her life, I felt the almost overwhelming urge to tell them "Tell her it will be ok. We'll take the baby. It would be a completely open adoption. We would love the baby as our own and she would be welcome in our life." Luckily, sanity prevailed and I kept my mouth shut. It is neither the time nor the place to even say anything about that. It just wouldn't be appropriate. But, I did tell them I was here for the girl to talk to if she needed an non-judgmental ear and I did tell them I know many people who have been involved in highly successful open adoptions.
It's funny. I had been slowly convincing myself the need for another child wasn't as strong as it had been before. Now, faced with this, I feel the need for a baby. I honestly expect this girl to keep the baby. With her personal/family history, any other decision would shock me. However, I think I want to sound my hubby out about this. If she should surprise everyone and decide on adoption, I want to know where my family stands on it.
No matter what happens, I need to start making a blanket and maybe a hat. Every baby deserves to be celebrated and every mother, even a very young mom, deserves the support of those who care about her.