"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Monday, October 19, 2009

When you come to a fork in the road...

take the road that leads in a completely unexpected direction and say a prayer that the ride is smooth.

Today, I made the decision to pull Marty out of school and homeschool him. We had gone from Wednesday (when the back spasm sent us to the ER) all the way to last night without a spasm. At 3 am, Marty woke up screaming because of a muscle spasm in his neck. He was able to get back to sleep but didn't sleep soundly. I woke him up at 6:20 because it was time for his morning dose of meds and time to get ready for school. Marty flat out told me he wasn't going. I tried to explain the necessity and all the solutions we had come up with so his back pack wouldn't injure his back and he still refused. That's when the mommy radar went into full alert
*WARNING*WARNING*WARNING*
I said, "Ok, talk to me, tell me what else is going on." He basically said he would rather die than go back to that school and, with a little pushing, I got the details of the crap a few students had been putting him through (details later). I decided there was no way in hell any child of mine was going to be treated that way and made that miserable. I decided to homeschool him through this year and next and we will reevaluate things when it is time for high school. One of my conditions for agreeing to this is that Marty and I are going to have a sit down with the vice-principal of the 7th grade and we are going to fill his ear with all the crap those little bastards have put my son through. Marty will continue his music through clarinet lessons because that will allow him the option to rejoin band if he re-enters public school. Now, I have to decide between traditional homeschooling and the public cyberschool that North Carolina has (thanks for helping me find the info Rys).

Have a seat, strap in, and enjoy the ride. It should be an education for all of us.

24 comments:

Tanyetta said...

I'm so sorry to hear Marty has been going through this. I know that you will handle business and will assist your son with this situation. Good Luck with Homeschooling. The Cyberschool sounds interesting. Whatever you decide, I'm sure it will be the best and yes, yes, please resist the urge to beat the itsh out of the kids that hurt your baby. He's going to be watching how you deal with situation so, please, be on your best behavior. You know I would be snatching my wig off and acting a damn fool up waiting for the bullies afterschool. Yeah, I am a work in progress! :)Wishing you well and I know everything will work out just fine!!

JuliaS said...

Oh my heart just aches for Marty! No one should have to endure bullying. It would be next to impossible for me to resist the urge to shake the the crap out of anyone who treated my child that way, well, anyone's child really.

Good wishes with the home schooling.

Gaynor said...

I went through the same thing with my daughter. I home schooled her from the age of 14 and was so impressed with the results and the change in her that I pulled my son out and my youngest has never been to school, but for a 6 week trial (his decision).
I love it and if you need any advice or info, please feel free to ask.
It is great fun: and on nice days you get to go out!!!!!

GeekByMarriage said...

Poor Marty! Kids are so fucking horrible. You def. made the right choice.

Kyle is doing the Cyber schooling option and we love it. Who is your state going with? K-12 or Connections Academy or another?

Kymberli said...

Wow, Kristin!

I'm so sorry that Marty has been going through crap at school. I had an awful year in middle school where I was relentlessly and sometimes even brutally teased. For me it was my 6th grade year. I never really let on just how bad it was because at the time, my mom had enough things on her plate and I didn't want to give her something else to worry about. My grades tanked and I became depressed, though. Closer to the end of the year, I finally told Mom what was going on. The next year, she pulled me from public school and put me in a private school. 6th grade was the absolute worst year of my life, and I believe it has fundamentally changed me and a lot of the confidence that I have when in new situations with unfamiliar people. Good for you for sticking up for Marty and doing what he needs at this time. Good luck to you guys, and let me know if I can ever help you out with anything. (((HUGS)))

Frugality Mom said...

Kristen I am so sorry to hear Marty has to had to deal with that. Try to stay calm and not wait for the little jerks after school like I would be wanting to do. Cyber School sounds like a great option and please keep us posted.

Venessa

Sheliza said...

God bless you guys Kristen. I know you are really going through it and I am so sorry poor Marty is suffering in so many ways. I wish you only the best on whatever the future holds.

Aunt Becky said...

My heart hurts for your poor sweetie. I'm glad that you made the call for your family.

~Tammy said...

So sorry to hear that Marty has been having such a hard time at school. That is a horribly terrible age and kids can be so cruel.

Good luck with homeschooling, hon.

Quiet Dreams said...

Poor Marty! Good for you for sticking up for him in such a profound way.

Kids getting bullied makes me so angry I can barely see straight.

MrsSpock said...

Oh my goodness. My middle school years were full of terrible terrible things. I almost killed myself in 8th grade because of it. I wish my mother could have done this for me. Children can be brutal. I remember yelling at the boys in gym class for tormenting the "slow" boy- they grabbed his glasses in the locker room, and had every other boy pee on them in the urinal. The teacher did nothing. the next day, the oldest boy, captain of the basketball team, pushing me against a wall in class and ground his crotch in my face. the teacher said, "Boys will be boys."

I think I would go totally Amazon if any kid did that to my child.

Barb said...

I'm so sorry Kristin. Hugs to you and Marty. You'll do great.

Another Dreamer said...

I am so sorry about Marty :( That's terrible.

I hope home schooling goes smoothly. My sister home schools her boys, she loves it. I would love to hear how this plays out for you and what route you decide to go.

Lavender Luz said...

Wow, Kristin. I'm so sorry you and Marty have been dealing with this. I commend you for your swift and decisive action.

Please give Marty my good thoughts, my healing thoughts.

battynurse said...

Good for you mom. I'm so sorry to hear that he's been suffering because of other kids. It always amazes me how cruel kids can be to one another. I hope the home schooling works well and that you find a good listening ear from the principle.

Bean said...
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MiPa said...

I'm so sorry that Marty is struggling. You can do the home school thing. I promise. I'm living proof that it can be done (or at least my kids are the proof). ((hugs))

Soralis said...

Oh I am so very sorry for Marty. That is just horrible! I applaud you for getting him away from that crap! (I was picked on from grade 5 to 12... it was horrible I wish my parents had of taken me out of the school. It took me years and years to recover.)

I always hate to hear of children that are treated badly, kids can be so cruel.

Hugs to you and tell Marty to hang in there, they aren't worth it.

Emma said...

I am so sorry that Marty has been having a rough time. Christopher had issues with a particular bully earlier in the year, and I found it heart breaking to deal with. Our sweet boys should not have to cope with these added stressors. Growing up is hard enough without bullies :(

Maybe his spasms will ease with the relief of not having to go back into that situation? I hope so for both of you!

niobe said...

I remember begging my parents to send me to boarding school because I was so miserable in middle school.

I think it's absolutely wonderful that you're able to take steps to give Marty what he needs.

Salma said...

Bully is the worse thing...I am so sorry. But kudos to you for taking the step to home schooling.

WiseGuy said...

Ugh...I hope the bullies that have been harassing Marty get a life, and understand their cruel ways.

Am so glad that Marty has such a responsible parent.

Good Luck with everything.

Stacie said...

Poor Marty! I am sorry to hear that he was having trouble at school. I am so glad that he opened up, and you are able to school him at home.

Give it to that school. Let them know exactly what he has been experiencing. If you don't like the administrator's response when you tell him, don't hesitate to go to the district office and let them know as well.

Hugs.

Life Happens said...

Kids can be so cruel sometimes. I admire you for pulling him out and homeschooling. I'm sure it's a lot of work, but in the end, your son will reap the rewards.