"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Thursday, January 19, 2012

What The Fuck Wednesday: the shittiest sweepstakes evah

Welcome back to What The Fuck Wednesday (published just after midnight to avoid breaking the anti-SOPA blackout) the prime location to read about products, items, and events that make your head snap around and your mouth utter the phrase "What the fuck is that?"

Over the weekend, I was watching a program off the dvr with Vic and I guess we were just slow with the fast forward button or something because I saw part of a commercial that made me do a double take and then a triple take. Yeah, it's the commercial I embedded right below. Watch it if you dare...

When it was done running, I looked at Vic and said "I really want to call bullshit on that but it's a CBS Cares commercial and you remember what they ran back in December of '09. I think it might be real." Vic said I should google it and find out if it was real...damn, by now you'd think he would know better. This is what I found...a link to the CBS Cares Colonoscopy Sweepstakes. Yes, you read that right....a colonoscopy sweepstakes.

The first page of the website looks completely normal. Well, normal except for the look on Ozzy's face. After all, it makes sense to have Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne as your celebrity spokespeople for a colonoscopy sweepstakes (damn, I can't even type that without giggling) because Sharon fought and beat colon cancer. But, the second page, oh my gawd is the second page ever out there. I guess after the reaction CBS got to their pap smear ads back in '09, they decided they could run a real sweepstakes but it would be better not to be so serious about it all. I started giggling by the second paragraph on the second page but I totally lost it and was laughing so hard I couldn't talk when I read the paragraph about the day of the colonoscopy.
As the colonoscopy begins, you will be given a drug that will make you feel like you're at an early 70's Black Sabbath concert - but without the music. If the doctor starts to look like Ozzy, please report the side effect to him or the Prince of Darkness - whomever you see first.
Is that not one of the funniest things you've ever read?

Once I'd calmed down enough to talk, I started telling Vic all about it and why I was laughing. My dear demented husband laughed and said "Why don't you enter me. After all, I'm over 50 and need a colonoscopy." So, now I'm hoping fortune smiles on us and I get to spend time in a luxury hotel so my husband can take one up the ass because CBS Cares.

Is it wrong that I hope the answer to question 3 on the entry form
   True   False
is a big, resounding TRUE?

If you've found a what the fuck Wednesday worthy moment, throw up a post and add your link through the Linky widget. If you don't want to post, share your What The Fuck moment here...and, if you don't have a moment to tell us about, join in the fun anyway and enter someone you love in the colonoscopy sweepstakes.