"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Monday, January 09, 2012

In The Blink Of An Eye

Just yesterday, my family and I were happily planning on a weekend trip to Georgia. My Grandfather's unit from WWII is having a plaque dedicated at the military history museum and the last living member of the crew is going to be there. My whole family (even Vic was off work), my parents, and my niece were going to make the trip together.

Today, we are planning my brother-in-law's funeral. This morning, 1/9/12, at 9:49 am, my brother-in-law, Jose, was pronounced dead. After an almost 30 year battle with Muscular Dystrophy, his body was finally worn out and the battle was done.

Jose was an amazing man who spent the past 30 years beating the odds. When he was diagnosed with MD at the age of 18, the doctors didn't expect him to live too long. Making it past his mid-twenties was considered a long shot. Well, Jose rarely did what was expected of him. So, he thumbed his nose at the doctors, worked his ass off, and lived to be 49 years old.

Jose was just like all the Cruz males and he had a warped, twisted sense of humor. He was always entertaining to be around and my boys absolutely adored him. He introduced Marty to the online Kill the Teletubbies and the Kill Barney games and he always listened to the stories and tales the kids had to share. But, the Jose my kids grew to know was not the same Jose I met almost 20 years ago. As his body grew weaker, his character and personality grew stronger. A number of years ago (10 years I think), Jose went on a trip that turned into a journey of faith and of personal growth. About a year after he went on that trip, I told him that I use to say I loved him because he was my brother, but now I could say I loved him because he was a person I genuinely enjoyed spending time with. This was the man my children grew  to know and the man they will miss desperately.

This weekend, on both Saturday and Sunday evening, I was over at my mother-in-law's house so I could help Jose and Vic's mom. On Saturday, purely by chance, I had Marty with me for the almost 2 hours I was there and he got to hang out and talk with the uncle he adored. And, last night, I had all three kids with me. They showed off there Christmas goodies, chattered about music, and had a great time with Jose. I am so very thankful they got to spend that time with him even if it does add to the whole unreal feeling Jose's death has invoked...less than 24 hours ago we were talking to him, hanging out with him, and now he's gone.

If there is someone you love, someone important to you, that you haven't talked to or seen in a while, call them, visit them as soon as you can because it can all change in the blink of an eye.

Good bye Jose. We love you and will miss you terribly.

Comments (31)

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Kristin, I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Jose. It does all change in a blink of an eye.

I am glad, however, that you and the boys got the chance to spend his last day with him. He knew your love for him. What a thing to treasure.

Much love to you all. I will be holding you and your family close to my heart.
1 reply · active 689 weeks ago
I am so sorry for your loss. How amazing though that you have such amazing memories and inspiration from Jose. I will include you in my prayers if that is ok, through this difficult time xx
1 reply · active 689 weeks ago
Kristin,
Praying for you and your family during this time of loss. ((hugs))
1 reply · active 689 weeks ago
I'm so terribly sorry for your family's loss, Jose sounds like a wonderful guy. What wonderful fortune that you were able to spend that last visit with him.
1 reply · active 689 weeks ago
Oh hon... I am so very sorry for your loss! You and your family are in my prayers (always, but especially as you deal with this). Sending many hugs and much love!
1 reply · active 689 weeks ago
battynurse's avatar

battynurse · 689 weeks ago

I'm so so sorry for your families loss. Hugs to all of you.
1 reply · active 689 weeks ago
I'm so sorry for your loss - Jose sounds like he was an inspiration.
1 reply · active 689 weeks ago
Kristin, I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your memories of Jose. It sounds like he was an amazing person and will be missed by everyone who knew and loved him.

Thinking of you and your family during this time of sadness and loss.
xoxo
1 reply · active 689 weeks ago
Kristin
I am so sorry for your families loss of such an amazing man. That last visit will be a treasure you hold dear for years to come. I had one similar with my aunt just days before she died not knowing that was to be the last time we would speak. Jose sounded like an amazing man that will be missed my many.

Hugs
Venessa
1 reply · active 689 weeks ago
I am so sorry for the loss of your brother-in-law. I know very well how much it can hurt to lose someone you love and are close to. I'll be thinking of you, Vic and the boys and your entire family over the coming days and weeks. Much love to you, my friend, and many prayers!
1 reply · active 689 weeks ago
Oh, Kristin. I'm so sorry for the loss of Jose. He sounds like a beautiful soul who brought good things to you and your family.

Hugs to you, and prayers for him.
1 reply · active 689 weeks ago
I'm so sorry. :(
1 reply · active 689 weeks ago
I'm so sorry for your family's loss Kristin--you are in my thoughts and prayers <3
Oh, Kristin, I'm so sorry for you family's loss. Thinking of you all.
So sorry for your families loss (*hugs*)
Again, I'm so very sorry for your loss. Lots of love going out to you.
we're so sorry for your family's loss, Kristin ((hugs))
I'm so sorry for you loss. Jose sounds like an amazing man. ((((hugs))))
Kristen, during my one year of living in Greensboro, I was honored to have the chance to get to know Jose. We talked on the phone a good bit and had one lovely afternoon sipping coffee and talking up a storm. I left NC quite unexpectedly and as things sometimes happen, our friendship drifted apart. It will forever be my loss that I did not do more to reconnect. You see, I also have muscular dystrophy and I so understand his struggles. I will forever keep those few precious memories in my heart.

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