"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Warring Emotions

I had somehow let myself forget just how exhausting an emotionally charged situation can be. Silly me. Sitting here, hours after Jose's memorial service, I am totally and completely exhausted. I feel almost like I could go to bed and sleep for a week.

Today was both wonderful and terribly taxing at the same time. It was so hard for me to see my children and loved ones hurting but it was wonderful to trade stories with other people who love Jose the way we do. And, even though it was a sad occasion, it was truly fabulous to see so many family members again. Man, oh man, were there a lot of family members there. After the service, the family all went back to my mother-in-law's house and it was PACKED.

I wish I could find the right words to tell you how incredible and heartbreaking today was but I'm too damned tired to even think straight. I think the dissonance between these warring sets of feelings was a major factor in the exhaustion. Now, since I seem to be repeating over and over again how tired I am, I'm signing off for the night and going to bed.

Hasta la bye-bye.