I killed Chuck E Cheese today.

Aaah...Chuck E Cheese, the mouse children love and parents hate. Today, I made my small contribution towards the sanity of parents everywhere. I killed one of the evil minions the Head Cheese sends out to indoctrinate our kids. I decapitated Gabe's Chuck E. Cheese cup.


Before you jump to the conclusion that I was perpetuating Chuck's insidious grip on our young children, be assured I did not buy this cup. This cup was given to Gabe by a grandparent. For those of you wishing to have a similar mouse removal occur at your house, here's how you do it. After multiple washings, the plastic weakens. Make sure you "accidentally" send the cup hurtling down from a high perch. With a fall of sufficient height, decapitation is a foregone conclusion. Now, please enjoy this moving tribute to Chuck E Cheese...

Welcome to the home of the King Street Players

Today's drama production features the Drama King of Cary...


starring as the much beleaguered middle schooler (MBMS) and his mom...

starring as the eeeevil mother (EM). The scene opens with the phone ringing just as eeeevil mom was getting ready to walk son #2 to the bus stop.

EM: Hello
MBMS (in a pitiful voice): Mom...I just puked.
this child was fine this weekend, was fine this morning and ate a good breakfast
EM: What happened?
MBMS: I just got sick. I don't know what happened.
EM: Marty, you've missed too many days. You were out 5 days because of Grandpa's funeral and you were sick a couple of days. You can't miss anymore.
MBMS: But moooooom, I feel terrible. Please, please, please.
adlib much begging and pleading by MBMS and many refusals to budge by EM
EM: Don't you remember our talk when you were sick last time? If you miss too many more you will be beyond the limit missed for the semester. You said you understood.
MBMS: But Mom, I didn't know I would feel this bad this soon.
EM: You have to stay in school. But, I can bring you medicine.
MBMS: Can't we talk about it when you get here?
EM: No. There is nothing to talk about. If you don't have a fever, you have to stay at school. Your only options are me bringing you medicine or not bring you medicine.
MBMS: (huffily) Fine, I'll see you when you get here.

EM gathers the medicine and loads son #3 into the car.
EM arrives at the school and walks in the office to encounter much begging and pleading by MBMS. MBMS admittedly looks a bit peakish.

MBMS: Mom, I'm dying here. Can't I please come home?
EM: No dear. You can not come home.
again...adlib much begging and pleading by MBMS and many refusals to budge by EM
EM (to secretary): Do you have a thermometer?
EM: If you don't have a fever, you will stay in school.
fast forward a little bit, thermometer shows NO FEVER
EM: Ok...take your medicine and go back to class.
MBMS: You don't car about me. Come one mom, give me a break for once in my life.
EM: I do care...
MBMS: No you don't. You don't care. You don't love me. I'm dying here.
EM: If I didn't love you, I wouldn't put up with this.
EM: The discussion is over, you need to go back to class.
MBMS: Fine, I won't talk to you ever again.

After multiple repeats of the begging and many near bouts of tears, MBMS stomps off as best as he can while on cruches. EM drives home shaking her head and the screen fades to black.

This has been the most recent production of the King Street Players. Thanks for your interest. Check back in on a regular basis and we'll bring you many further episodes fill with teen-age angst, infuriating toddlers, and whiny 7 year olds.

SHOW AND TELL: our wedding

Welcome to this week's show and tell. I was thinking this week about how very lucky I am to be married to the wonderful man I have. So, I wanted to share our wedding pictures with you. This November will be our 14th anniversary. Not only did I get to marry the man of my dreams 14 years ago but I had the wedding of my dreams. It wasn't a large wedding but we

were surrounded by friends and family that we love. My dear friends Chris, Kristi, and Jennifer were my bridesmaids. Vic's dad was his best man and our friend's Mike and Dan were the other groomsmen. Even my Grandma was able to be there. I can't believe how young we all look. Hehe, my hubby says to tell you that the kids gave him the grey hair he has now.


Vic and his dad

Chris, Me, Kristi, Jennifer

Mike, Dan, Vic

my Mom, my Dad, Mike

my Grandma, Mike

at the altar

the wedding party

us today

I'm a geek.

I found The Geek Test online. Since I've always thought of myself as a bit of a geek, I decided to take the test and see what my official ranking is. According to the Geek Test, I am 35.10848% geek which designates me as a major geek.

Are you a geek? Take the test and tell me how you scored. Visit Innergeek and take the Geek Test.

McCain is a *political WUSS

This picture is from the Huffington Post

I can not believe this shit. Truly I can't. Yes, we are in a political crisis but you DO NOT suspend the democratic process to deal with the economy. I cold say a lot more on this but instead I'm going to point you to three items that say it the best. LH ripped McCain a new one in his post McCain is desperate and afraid. And Craig Ferguson seems to really get it...


And David Letterman has a brilliant take on it too...


*Please understand...there is much about McCain I admire. He sacrificed much for our country during his military service. There are even things I agree with him on. However, I do NOT like him as a politician.

6 Quirky (or just plain weird) Things About Me

I rarely do memes but I got tagged by flickrlovr and my kids *fried the few brain cells I have left so here goes...

THE RULES:

• Link to the person that tagged you
• Post the rules on your blog
• Share 6 non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself
• Tag 6 people at the end of your post by linking to their blog
• Let each person know they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog
• Let your tagger know when your entry is up

JUDGE AWAY...

1. It drives me crazy when someone doesn't completely erase a board (blackboard, dry erase, whatever). Its not that I mind if something is purposely left on a board. What bothers me is when someone erases in order to write or draw something new and they leave part of a letter or picture behind.
2. I am very laid back about most things but I hate it when my cross stitch bobbins are not wound neatly. I am so anal when I wind my bobbins of cross stitch floss that they look like they were wound by a machine. Having my bobbins of floss lay nice and flat and in order makes me happy.
3. I can NOT stand to have my bed covers loose and gathered around my feet. I want the sheet pulled fairly taut across my feet.
   
4. I have piles of shirts and shorts neatly folded on the glider in my room because I didn't take the time to put them away. I mean how ridiculous is that. It only takes a few minutes more to put them in the drawer...but I fold them perfectly.
   
5. I can handle a fair amount of chaos and mess but, when I reach my breaking point, I snap and I am totally fanatical about cleaning that room floor to ceiling.
   
6. When I have read or studied things, I can tell you whether an item is on the left page or right page. I can tell you the general spot on the page the info is on. But, I have been known to completely blank on the actual info.

I'm going to tag Velda, Henny, Rebel, Beautiful Mess, Katrina, and MiPa.

*my brain is so fried that I had to retype parts of this post two and three times to get the spelling correct

I heart the Duke Medicine OB/GYN clinic.

If I lived in Durham, they would be my doctors of choice. I went there for my referral today. Basically, my OB/GYN office here in Cary wanted me to have them review my records and the treatment I got during my last pregnancy and make recommendations as to the course of treatment if I get pregnant again.

I got there about 15 minutes before my appointment and was taken right back. Yes, you read that right...I DID NOT HAVE TO WAIT. The doc, Dr. B, who reviewed my records with me was really nice and courteous. Then, he was going to do a quick review of my case with the head doc, Dr. J, and she would brief me as to her recommendations. Well, Dr. J was running a little late (she was teaching a seminar) and Dr. B came back and apologized for the wait not once but twice.

Dr. J believes the same dosage of lovenox will be perfect but wants to add one baby aspirin a day beginning with the second trimester. She says that their is evidence that simply adding a baby aspirin a day helps protect against pre-eclampsia and blood pressure problems during pregnancy. She is also going to recommend monthly ultrasounds to check for growth rate and fetal health. And, I think she said she will recommend weekly appointments start at 32 weeks.

Then, while Dr. B was getting my check out papers, Dr. J herself (aka the head of the clinic) got me the clinic card with all the phone numbers and took me to meet the nurses they have on staff so I would know who I was talking to when I call in...WOW. Dr. B was going to hand me the check out papers but stopped himself and said, "You don't need these. You've already paid your co-pay. Let me take care of checking you out." Double Wow...talk about good customer service. I am so glad these are the high risk specialists we will be dealing with.

I think the current plan will be to wait one more cycle (just to make sure its regulated) and then start trying in earnest.

Marty's ankle is broken

Last Wednesday, he stepped wrong when he was running in PE. We thought he had sprained it because there was no bruising and only a little swelling. He could bear some weight on it but not much. We ended up taking him in to the doc on Saturday because we knew he would have to be out of PE this week and that meant we needed a doctor's note. At that point, the doc agreed it was sprained. The presentation just did not scream broken bone. Well, last night, he slipped on something on the bathroom floor and after that he couldn't bear any weight on it. Poor kiddo. It wasn't better this morning so we took him to the doctor. The xray showed he had one broken bone on the outside of the ankle. He now has a cast and a cast shoe on his foot. No PE or Tae Kwon Do until he recovers. Whee fun!

SHOW AND TELL: My Kids' Christening Outfit

When we were trying to get pregnant with my oldest son, I decided I wanted to make my baby's christening gown. I found a wonderful thread crochet pattern and set to work. This is the result...


Christening gown, hat and booties...crocheted in '96...worn by all three of my boys.


Close up of buttons and hat...I couldn't find buttons I liked so I bought the beads in the right color and made these buttons.


Close up of the front of the bodice and the booties.

I hope I get to use this one more time.

To see more wonderful SHOW AND TELL, check in with Miss Lollipop.

I have a confession to make...

For the past year and a half, I let my anger over things said to my husband stand in the way of my kids seeing their grandparents as much as they should.

To understand the situation, I have to give you a little background. The house we live in right now belongs to my MIL. We are renting to own from her. The house will be ours one day. We are truly blessed to have the opportunity to buy this house at such a wonderful price...and my in-laws are wonderful to have offered it to us. However, this has made my MIL feel like she can give us advice or be privy to knowledge about things that truly are not her business (mostly money issues). Some things happened about a year and a half ago and my MIL had my FIL lecture my hubby about work ethics, financial responsibility, and general nonsense for 2 hrs. My husband has one of the strongest work ethics of anyone I know. At one point in our marriage, he was working almost 7 days a week to make ends meet. My wonderful, responsible, hardworking hubby was treated like a child and it PISSED ME OFF. My hubby was also deeply hurt by this. Because of my anger at this situation and because of the way my hubby felt, we didn't visit my in-laws nearly as often as we should have. Over all, my in-laws were and are wonderful people but this issue was a sticking point for me. There were many times during that year and a half when I mention to my hubby that maybe we should visit them...but I never pushed it or followed through.

And, now its too late. My FIL is gone and my children missed out on a lot of time they could have had with him. I'm not sure I can ever forgive myself for that.

"If you're not laughing, you're not living."

Carlos Mencia closes out his show with this saying. I think he is right. There is so much we can laugh about...and laughter gets us through the tough times. Laughing about a joke or something ridiculously silly my kids or husband have done can make a horrible day seem so much better. That is one of the things I love about my husband. He can always make me laugh.

What makes you laugh? Do you think laughter is therapeutic? Post some jokes, links to funny videos, funny pics...anything that can make you laugh. Anything goes...raunchy humor as well as silly or sophomoric knock knock jokes.

Come on people...make me laugh.


I'll start you out...

Top nine Olympic comments made by NBC sports commentators:

1. Weight-lifting commentator: 'This is Gregorieva from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.'

2. Dressage commentator: 'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.'

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: 'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.'

4. Boxing Analyst: 'Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.'

5. Softball announcer: 'If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.'

6. Basketball analyst: 'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.'

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: 'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.'

8. Soccer commentator: 'Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.'

9. Tennis commentator: 'One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?'

2 boys and a duck...

My house is a very full and very busy house. We have 2 dogs, 2 cats, 3 fish, 2 boys, and a duck. Wait a minute! 2 boys and a duck?!?!?!? My regular readers are scratching their heads about now and wondering when I got a duck and what happened to my 3rd son. See folks, that is where you are making a mistake. You assume kids are always kids. You all know my sons Marty and Joey...


Now, I want to introduce you to my fuzzy yellow duck. Meet Ming-Ming duckling...


Most people looking at this picture would make the mistaken assumption that it was a picture of my son Gabe. But, alas it isn't so. Lately, his obsession with the Wonder Pets has lead to him going by the name Ming-Ming. It's quite amazing the things this little duckling can do. He chases cats, pretends to be a dog, collects tree sap for the marmosets (like Diego), and he does it all while he is covered with fluffy feathers. Unfortunately, Ming-Ming's wings don't seem to be designed for holding onto things so many things (including the tree sap bottle) have gone flying through the air. However, Ming-Ming's clumsiness is offset by his bravery with loud noises. Ming-Ming tolerates the loud engines of buses and lawn mowers very well.

I don't know how long Ming-Ming is here for but, until he decides his stay is over, I have 2 boys and a duck.

The Last "I Love You"

Yesterday, we went over to my mother-in-law's house for dinner and she had an amazing story to tell us.

My MIL collects Grinch Christmas decorations. A few years ago, she started collecting the Grinch ornaments made by Lenox. My father-in-law had bought most of them for her as presents and she had collected all except for one of them. I think she had planned on eventually getting the last decoration but it wouldn't have been this year. Last Monday, after the funeral, she arrived home to find a package had been delivered. Shortly before he went in the hospital, my FIL ordered the last Grinch decoration for my MIL. She came home from the funeral to receive her final present, her last "I Love You", from my FIL. She would have treasured the decoration no matter what circumstances she received it but getting it this way is just amazing. This is what she got...

SHOW AND TELL: a really cool duck...

This week's show and tell isn't anything deep and profound. In the pond behind my MIL's house (man does it feel weird saying that instead of the in-laws' house), there is a group of ducks that live there. There are some mallards that live there and their is a group of white ducks that live there. And, there is one extremely unique duck. This duck looks like a cross (and probably is) between the generic white duckies and the mallards. Since you rarely see different species coexisting that closely, I find it extremely interesting that this duck has never been ostracized from the mallards.

Two things that make me happy...

Someone from my church brought these lovely flowers by on Monday. They were the altar flowers from Sunday and someone decided we needed a show of support to help us get through my FIL's death. And, they are my favorite colors...purple and green!



I finished the Bat Mitzvah present for my friend Jen's daughter, Emily. Jen asked a group of us who are friends to help her put this together for Emily's special day. I finished it...YAY. And, hopefully (please God), it will get there today...only one day before the Bat Mitzvah. If you want to see close ups of the squares, check this link. The square design is a quilting pattern called the friendship square. Normally, the center of each pieced square would be the darker color but that is where I placed the cross stitch squares. I like it but, do you think a 13 yr old will like it?

9/11...the day our world changed forever...

Mention 9/11 and you’ll get a wide variety of reactions ranging from anger to stunned disbelief to wacked out conspiracy theorists. The one commonality you will find is that everyone can tell you where they were on that fateful day. I was sitting in my living room watching some kids program with my kids when the phone rang. It was my friend Pam from Kentucky. She didn’t say hi. She didn’t mention who it was. She just said, “TURN ON THE TV.” I could tell from her tone of voice that something was really wrong. Little did I know how much worse it would get. When Pam called me, the first plane had just hit the World Trade Center. At that point, everyone thought it was a tragic accident or a crazed individual acting alone. Certainly, no one was thinking terrorism.

We turned on the TV and were watching when the second plane hit. I looked at my husband in stunned disbelief. I remember watching as a thick, black column of smoke climbed higher and higher into that beautiful blue sky. I remember praying and saying, “Please dear God let the loss of life be minimal.” I remember watching all the police cars and fire trucks arriving and thinking, “I wonder how many of those brave men and women won’t go home tonight.”

As the fire grew bigger, the chances of the buildings staying up grew smaller. We were watching as the buildings started to collapse. I sat there crying because I knew we had lost all those firefighters and police officers who went running in when everyone else was running out. Those brave heroes didn’t stop to think they might not live through the day. They donned their gear and their only question was, “Where do you need me?” Those men who went into the World Trade center that day saved many lives by giving their lives that day. Please remember them.

In the days that followed the attack and the building collapse, I was selfishly glad that my husband was recovering from knee surgery. If he hadn’t been recovering from surgery, he would likely have been one of the firefighters who volunteered to help with the recovery efforts. It may have been selfish but I didn’t want him to become another statistic of 9/11. My heart went out to the families who lost people on 9/11 but I certainly didn’t want to join them.

Remember the bravery of the policemen and firefighters who died on 9/11. Remember the people who forced the plane down in the field instead of letting the terrorist crash it into a building. Even if you don’t support the war, recognize and honor the conviction of our men and women who are fighting for our freedom. Don’t let this day and the loss of life be pointless.

Stand up for our rights. Stand up for our freedom. Don’t sit silently and let our rights be trampled upon by our government or by others.

Stand for something and remember 9/11.



To read a series of 48 incredible posts about 9/11, go visit Bridges. There will be a new 100 word post every half hour today.

The promised Gabe story (+ a little)...

Life finally feels like it is starting to get back to normal (whatever that may be). The viewing and the funeral were really tough. Even little Gabe seemed to figure some of it out. There was a family viewing on Saturday, and, when Gabe saw him, he said, "Grandpa’s sleeping." I figured the best response was to say, “Yes, Grandpa is sleeping and he has gone to be with God now.” Well, the next day at the public viewing, Gabe was outside with my sister. All of a sudden he grabbed her hand and said, “I HAVE to go see my Grandpa.” When they came back into the funeral home, he grabbed my best friend and said, “Come on Aunt Jennifer. We have to go see my Grandpa.” He was very insistent. When they got up to the front of the viewing line, he stood there with a very serious look on his face. My sister said you could just see the wheels turning in his head. He finally said, in a kind of sad voice, “My Grandpa’s still sleeping.” My mom had joined them at this point and told him, “Yes, Grandpa is with God right now.” He kept looking and rubbed his face a bit. Then Gabe looked at my sister and said (in a sad voice), “Aunt Becky, I HAVE to go home now.” Up until then, he had been quite happily running around and playing with everyone. I guess, even though he doesn’t fully understand, he figured out something was really wrong. It nearly broke my heart when my mom told me about it. The hardest part for me was when my MIL bent over to give my FIL one last kiss. She kissed his forehead and his cheek and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips. You could see her body shaking while she cried as she did this. Then, she turned to my hubby and asked him to take FIL's glasses off. She bent down and gently kissed each eyelid and then had my hubby replace his glasses. She said that was their nightly ritual and she needed to do it one last time. It was so beautiful, tender, and absolutely heartbreaking. Theirs was a true love story.

My older two boys have done a remarkable job dealing with everything but they both completely lost it at the funeral (I think we all did). Joey just sobbed and sobbed. And Marty cried a bit but, his tough moment was at the gravesite. When they were lowering the casket, he knelt behind my MIL, buried his head in her shoulder, and sobbed his heart out. It was so hard not being able to make it all better for them. Vic and I both have been relieved to make it through the services. I think we both lost it when the military honor guard handed my MIL the flag and the brass from the 21 gun salute. It still doesn’t seem quite real.

And the winners are....

Stacie of Heeeeere Storkey, Storkey! and Murgdan of Conceive This!. Thats right, there are two winners. Both my older boys wanted to draw a name from the bag and, in a moment of weakness, I let them do it. I want to thank these lovely ladies for stopping by, reading, and commenting.

The funeral is today.

Here is a copy of his obit...

Mr. Sigifredo Cruz-Vega, 72, passed away on Tuesday, September 2, 2008 at Duke University Medical Center. Mr. Cruz was born on January 18, 1936 in Puerto Rico to the late Vicente Laguna and Ramona Vega. Mr. Cruz served in the National Guard and the U.S. Army, with thirty years of service to his country. He served in the Field Artillery and retired at the rank of Command Sergeant Major in 1980. Mr. Cruz’s last assignment was as the Regular Army Advisor to the North Carolina National Guard. Some of the commendations and decorations earned during a long illustrious career include the Bronze Star Medal (2nd award) with V Device (Valor), Air Medal, Purple Heart (2nd award), Republic of Vietnam Cross of Gallantry with Palm and the Meritorious Service Medal. Upon retiring from the military, Mr. Cruz worked for twenty-one years at Bristol Myers as a Processing Mechanic Supervisor in Morrisville, NC. Mr. Cruz was a charter member of the Genesis United Methodist Church in Cary.

In addition to his wife, Ruth N. Cruz, he is survived by five sons and their spouses, Sig and Linda of Concord, Ric and Mae of Knightdale, Victor and Kristin of Cary, Manuel and Lisa of Charlotte, and Jose of Cary; two daughters and spouses, Marta and Felipe Maldonado of Miami, FL and Ruth and Ray Nichols of Raleigh; grandchildren: Pachence Johnson, Melissa, Corey, Victor Martin, Joseph Sigifredo and Gabriel; great grandchildren: Travis Johnson, Cameron Johnson and Aleysha Johnson. Mr. Cruz is survived by three siblings, Gladys Torres, Maria Antonia Laguna and Angel Laguna.

A Worship Service celebrating his life will be held on Monday, September 8 at 11:00 am at Genesis United Methodist Church, 850 High House Road, Cary. Interment with military honors will follow at Wake Memorial Park in Cary.

Visitation will be from 3-5 p.m. on Sunday, September 7, 2008 at Brown-Wynne Funeral Home, 200 S.E. Maynard Road, Cary.

Memorial contributions may be made to the American Cancer Society, 8300 Health Park, Suite 10, Raleigh, NC 27615.

If you click on this link, this takes you to the page at the funeral home and on the right hand side of the page there is a link that says movie. The funeral home used pics from all through dad's life to make a wonderful video tribute.

I have a fabulous story about Gabe relating to all this but I need to go start getting ready. I will have to type it out later.

SHOW AND TELL: 200th Post Giveaway

My crafts were my sanity saver during our battle against secondary infertility and they are my sanity saver as a parent. I love to create beautiful things. Sometimes I am inspired to work in floss, sometimes in fabric, sometimes in yarn. I love to make things for other people and so I want to make something for one of you to celebrate my 200th post. All you need to do to enter this drawing is post here. I will randomly select one of my commentors to receive a gift. The winner will get to select the type of item and I will work out the details. I do promise you will receive something but I'm not going to promise it will happen quickly...LOL. 3 kids and my various other responsibilities make a quick turn around impossible. The cut off for posting here to enter the contest is 9/8/08. Remember, this will be a real item. If you want to receive it, make sure I can contact you (don't comment anonymously). If you don't have a blog, put a comment here and send me an email via the link on my blog. Here are a few of the things I can make...

A proud mama moment...

My oldest son, Marty, was talking to me and asked me if I thought he would get a *girlfriend in middle school. After I fought back the urge to yell, "YOU'RE TOO YOUNG!" I told him, "I don't know. You might. So kids start having girl friends in middle school and some never find someone they like until they are older."

Marty then said, "I like pretty girls but I like nice girls better. So many pretty girls have attitudes and, if I had to pick, I would rather have a nice girlfriend."

This time I had to fight the urge to yell, "HALLELUJAH!" So many men never learn this lesson and my 11 yr old gets it. I hope he holds onto this attitude because he will have a much easier time with dating (when he is old enough).


*a girlfriend in middle school is just someone you might publically hold hands with.

There is something seriously wrong when...

you have to schedule a funeral around a tropical storm. Vic and his parents are originally from Puerto Rico. This means we have a lot of people coming from way out of town for this funeral. It also means that many of them are coming from an area that is having flights affected by the presence of Tropical Storm Hanna.

A lot of people couldn't get here until late last night or early today. That meant the earliest we could have had the viewing was this afternoon with the funeral tomorrow. But wait, same aforementioned Tropical Storm Hanna will be visiting the fine state of North Carolina tomorrow. Sooooo, the viewing had to be scheduled for Sunday afternoon (3 til 5) and the funeral is on Monday at 11 am.

I never thought we would have to schedule a funeral around a tropical storm's schedule.

Random thoughts on loss...

I knew losing one of our parents would be hard but I never realized just how hard it would be. My emotional and mental exhaustion is making me feel physically exhausted and I know Vic is even worse. My sense of time seems to be all skewed. It alternately seems like time is passing very quickly and that time is dragging.

I'm not in tears all the time but random thoughts and moments bring on the flood of tears quite easily. I was snuggling and singing to Gabe at bedtime and all of a sudden I was struck by the thought that any future child of ours would never get to be snuggled and held by his Grandpa Sig. The tears started and my voice broke and, it was all I could do to not totally lose it.

Marty and Joey seem to be doing ok but that's just whats on the surface. Joey is my laid back, mellow kid. He never gets upset about video games and he ended up in tears over one today. That was in addition to the total sobbing meltdowns he had this morning. Marty is holding it in but he has had his share of meltdowns. Even Gabe knows something is wrong. We were over at my in-laws house...strike that my mother-in-laws house last night and Gabe was fine. But today, when he heard me mention Grandpa, he asked "Where is he?" All I could do was say he's gone up to heaven to be with God. Gabe kept saying "But, where is he?" My little boy knew Grandpa was missing but just didn't understand why.

And, this whole situation reminds me how unprepared even the most meticulous person is for death and loss. My father-in-law planned for everything. He has the bank accounts set up as trusts because anything that isn't a trust and has his name on it has half the assets frozen until we can present the bank with a death certificate. He has the account that our rent/house payments go into and it automatically pays the taxes on both their house and the one we are renting to own. He has everything...every bill, every tax, every everything... taken care of except for the cost of the funeral. And, a funeral ain't cheap. Luckily, with the assets of the family, the funeral will be able to be paid for without it bankrupting anyone. Think about it folks, we may be young but life isn't a guarantee. If you know where you want to be laid to rest, contact a funeral home and prepay for the funeral. Costs will do nothing except go up and this will save your loved ones a lot of angst. Also, go ahead and buy your cemetery plot. Land (even in cemeteries) just gets more expensive.

Finally, on a lighter note, having kids warps your brain. Kids get obsessed with certain tv shows. Gabe's current obsession is The Wonder Pets. The theme song is insidiously catchy. Its the type that will run through your head for hours at a time. Vic told me he was there in the hospital with his mom and his siblings sitting with his dad's body and they were all in tears....and running through his head as the soundtrack to this moment was The Wonder Pets theme song...bwahahahahahahahahaha. I will NEVER let him forget that.

It broke my heart all over again...

I was talking to my mother-in-law and they are just leaving the hospital. She said she couldn't bear to leave while "my pop was still there." She always called him pop and she sounded so lost.

He's gone...Oh my God he's gone...

my father-in-law died this morning. Sigifredo Cruz-Vega was one of the finest men I know. He loved his family. He loved his country. And, many times, he lived through things he shouldn't have lived through. He was a highly decorated war veteran who thought so little of the politics of Washington that he turned down an appointment to the highest position an NCO can achieve...Sergeant Major of the Army...because that would mean serving at the Pentagon. He was a father to 7 children, all who are now outstanding men and women in their own right. But, most importantly, he was someone we loved and we will miss him desperately.

Go with God dad...we love you.