"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

The promised Gabe story (+ a little)...

Life finally feels like it is starting to get back to normal (whatever that may be). The viewing and the funeral were really tough. Even little Gabe seemed to figure some of it out. There was a family viewing on Saturday, and, when Gabe saw him, he said, "Grandpa’s sleeping." I figured the best response was to say, “Yes, Grandpa is sleeping and he has gone to be with God now.” Well, the next day at the public viewing, Gabe was outside with my sister. All of a sudden he grabbed her hand and said, “I HAVE to go see my Grandpa.” When they came back into the funeral home, he grabbed my best friend and said, “Come on Aunt Jennifer. We have to go see my Grandpa.” He was very insistent. When they got up to the front of the viewing line, he stood there with a very serious look on his face. My sister said you could just see the wheels turning in his head. He finally said, in a kind of sad voice, “My Grandpa’s still sleeping.” My mom had joined them at this point and told him, “Yes, Grandpa is with God right now.” He kept looking and rubbed his face a bit. Then Gabe looked at my sister and said (in a sad voice), “Aunt Becky, I HAVE to go home now.” Up until then, he had been quite happily running around and playing with everyone. I guess, even though he doesn’t fully understand, he figured out something was really wrong. It nearly broke my heart when my mom told me about it. The hardest part for me was when my MIL bent over to give my FIL one last kiss. She kissed his forehead and his cheek and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips. You could see her body shaking while she cried as she did this. Then, she turned to my hubby and asked him to take FIL's glasses off. She bent down and gently kissed each eyelid and then had my hubby replace his glasses. She said that was their nightly ritual and she needed to do it one last time. It was so beautiful, tender, and absolutely heartbreaking. Theirs was a true love story.

My older two boys have done a remarkable job dealing with everything but they both completely lost it at the funeral (I think we all did). Joey just sobbed and sobbed. And Marty cried a bit but, his tough moment was at the gravesite. When they were lowering the casket, he knelt behind my MIL, buried his head in her shoulder, and sobbed his heart out. It was so hard not being able to make it all better for them. Vic and I both have been relieved to make it through the services. I think we both lost it when the military honor guard handed my MIL the flag and the brass from the 21 gun salute. It still doesn’t seem quite real.

8 comments:

MrsSpock said...

This just made me tear up...

InfertileMadWoman said...

Awww sweetie.... sending a huge virtual hug to all of you!!!!

Katrina said...

Am a weepy mess now, bless your little ones' hearts. Hang in there, sending hugs...

Bean said...

((Kristin)) I'm so proud of you & Vic for including the boys at the services, when most people would find a sitter and try to shield them from the pain. We all need that pain to get through the loss ((Hugs)) and ((smooches)) my friend

SAHW said...

How beautiful and painful...I had to go back and read all the previous entries about your father in law as well...it's never ever easy to see a loved one go, so far I haven't had to face it, but one day we all will...the part you mentioned about your MIL was so sweet, while this is undoubtedly a difficult time for you all, there must be some comfort in knowing he lived a good life.

Thank you for checking on me. :) I'm still home with my parents, returning next week. Nausea and exhaustion have over-taken my life, but if this means the babies are well, I will gladly take it. The 8 week u/s is in a a week, and I'm anxiously awaiting it. I will be updating after it. Thank you again for dropping by to see how I'm doing. :)

Silver said...

With tears I send you a big hug.

wiccanstitcher said...

I am just sitting here with tears running down my face. Bless your children and your entire family. Sending you big squishy hugs your way.

Ken's choice said...

Kristin, what can I say, ?
memories came back to me !!

So good of you and Vic to let the boys be there and that they have been able to say goodbye to a very much loved Granddad.