"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Once Upon A Time...

Once upon a time, a major dipshit screwed over my friend. Correction, twice upon a time, a major dipshit screwed my friend over twice...more twenty years apart. A little over 20 yrs ago, my dear friend Kristi was dating this guy who went by the name Corey. Now Kristi is smart, funny, beautiful, and will bend over backward to help her friends. In other words, she is fabulous. And, Kristi was deeply in love with this guy Corey. She thought he could be the one. She thought he was the one until the day she found out he was a scum sucking bottom feeder who would fuck just about anything that offered it up to him. Like most women in her early twenties, Kristi didn't deal well with being fucked over. So, as she left, she took it out on something near and dear to his heart...his motorcycle...fed it a whole engine full of sugar. Sadly, despite striking out at him, his betrayal affected her for many years to come.

Fast forward to earlier this year...Kristi was having a major problems with her car. Her normal go to car guy wasn't available so she posted a query to her friends on facebook asking about it. Now, Corey had shown up a few months before on facebook and, when she asked about her car issues, he told her to contact him with the details of the car problems. Well, one thing lead to another and Corey started calling and "sniffing" around. His life was still entwined with another woman and Kristi told him to stay away until his life became uncomplicated.

Turns out it wasn't too long until Corey supposedly "uncomplicated" his life and was free to pursue Kristi. And, pursue her he did. He called. He came around. He talked the talk. He said the reason he cheated on her years ago was that with everyone else he could see the end and with her he couldn't and it scared him to death. He actually owned up and apologized for what he did to her. That boy kept talking the talk and appeared to be walking the walk which would prove he was a grown up, a real man. Kristi held back for a while. She was trying to be smart and protect herself but the rat bastard finally broke through her defenses. He convinced her he had really learned from his past mistakes. He even called her when his ex contacted him...told her he wanted complete transparency...said he wanted nothing hidden. And, then the bastard did it again. Kristi was confronted with irrefutable proof that the scum sucking bottom feeder was playing around in one too many sandboxes.

Now, Kristi told me that she isn't going to lower herself and strike back at him. But, she forgot (bwahahahahaha) to tell me not to get him back. She is a fabulous woman and I want to make him sorry for the way he treated her. I have all his contact info and he doesn't know me from adam. I thought I might start out with a text saying "OMG honey, I'm sooooooo excited. The test was POSITIVE." Then, I thought I'd wait a day or two and send a message saying "Oh shit. Oh fuck. My life is over. It was positive." He's been doing enough scummy things that I'm sure his mind will go to the worst possible scenario. I foresee mailing lists and postings on sites like Don't Date Him. The beauty of this is a can stir up a shit storm without doing anything illegal. This bastard will learn not to fuck with women (especially women that are my friends) that way...or, he won't and I'll just have fun letting my inner bitch out to play. Either way it's a win/win situation.

Let the games begin!...and, Kristi, I love you.

Comments (9)

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St. Elsewhere's avatar

St. Elsewhere · 707 weeks ago

Corey is such a LOSER!

And I am so sorry Kristi got duped twice....so much for our trusting hearts.

I played mafia for a friend once. And I am just thankful that whatever I did, did not reach my parents' ears. You so reminded me of that.

He sounds like a psycho. Maybe staying away would be better.
1 reply · active 707 weeks ago
I'd love to hear your story some day St. Elsewhere.
Seriously. Why do men NEVER figure out not to piss off a woman. That we can far out do them, out think them, and out revenge them making their lives a miserable pile of shit if they do? Hope you enjoy the hell out of this and if you need help, let me know. It could be fun.
1 reply · active 707 weeks ago
I'll forward you his info. The more people that want to play, the better.
What a douche. No wait that's not cruel enough. Asshat. Nope. Jerk-off. Rat Bastard. Douchasshatoffbastard!

Totally do that! Do you want me to send him an international text message and really eff with him? Let me know, I will help out gladly.

Douche.
(seriously, that does not do his assholery justice!)
1 reply · active 707 weeks ago
I will definitely get you his info. It's on my agenda for the weekend.
Bawhahahhaha! Now I have to google Don't Date Him. Have you posted him? Can you email the name?
1 reply · active 707 weeks ago
I will get you the name. My campaign against the douchebag starts in earnest this weekend.
Once a player, always a player I say. I doubt if he'll stop what he's doing, he'll just wonder who you are.

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