"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Friday, May 04, 2012

When Vic Finally Stopped Being Stupid

Back when I wrapped up Vic's Story, I promised you our story and stories from the wayback machine. Life got it the way of my story telling. Between our extended house guests, Marty's medical crises, and all the other random shit life threw at me, my story telling mojo was wrapped up tight. Sure, I've been writing a lot but there have been a lot of times I've struggled with what to write about. Now that life is getting back to normal, the inspiration seems to be coming back. Have I got a story for you...

Some women have wonderful stories about their proposal. One of my friends from back in my rescue squad days has a story that will make you melt. On the day her husband proposed to her, he had set the stage. He had arranged for a picnic lunch after a hike in the woods to one of their favorite spots. He got down on his knee to propose to her with a ring he had custom designed. Its truly one of the most romantic proposals I've heard of...and, it really happened. My proposal was nothing like that. My proposal was better.

It was October of 1994, only about 5 months after Vic pissed me off enough to make me wanna kill him for the second time, and Vic had just gotten home from a 2 week stint at the National Fire Academy. He was telling me all about the different people he'd met up at the Fire Academy. He told me how a couple of the guys had come from a department somewhere up north and they'd recently lost a fellow firefighter in a fire. This firefighter who'd been killed in a fire had a common law wife. He had lived with here for more than 7 years but they'd never gotten married. When he died in that fire, she wasn't eligible to collect any of his benefits because she wasn't his wife. She didn't just lose him, she lost everything.You could hear in Vic's voice how badly this story affected him. Then, Vic looked at me and said "I can't let that happen to you. That's why we have to get married." We got married about a month later in a small civil ceremony.

Now, I know a bunch of you have to be thinking "How could she possibly think this proposal was better than her friend's proposal?" I don't just think it was better. I know it was better. Vic got over his sheer terror of marriage and commitment because he loved me. Vic decided it was more important to take care of me than it was to indulge his fears. Vic decided the love really does trump everything else. And, that perfect proposal I told you about in the beginning, they didn't last. But, the two warped, twisted people who could appreciate a proposal like we had, we're still going strong. In August, Vic and I will have been together for 20 years and, in November, we will celebrate 18 years of marriage. My proposal kicked ass.

Anyone else wanna share your story?