"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Friday, July 18, 2008

Have I really been blogging for almost 4 years?

I first started blogging about 3 months after we lost our Eva. I was hurting so badly and wasn't sure that pain would ever go away. Now, almost 4 years later, I have my miracle baby (OMG, he is 2 1/2). I have a host of wonderful friends I would have never found without blogging. I truly am blessed.

I still miss the babies I never got to know. I will always wonder about them and part of me will always grieve for them. Infertility put me in a dark place for a long time. Yes, I still went on with life. I laughed and loved with the children I had but it seemed there was a giant, dark, empty place within my soul. There were some days that the darkness and emptiness were overwhelming. My friends, mu hubby, and a short term visit with mommy's little helper (lexapro) helped me get a handle on the depression. Once I was back in control of the depression instead of letting it control me, it was much easier to deal with the continued efforts to have a baby.

Now, I have living proof that my efforts weren't in vain. We have a beautiful little wild child who brings so much joy to Vic, Marty, Joey, and me. In addition to the blessing of our third son, my husband has been blessed with a wonderful job that he truly loves. My family is thriving.

Despite the pain it caused, I can't regret the journey through infertility. That journey has proven to me that my hubby and I can survive anything. Its also shown me how important it is to savor every little moment you have with someone. As a result, I think I appreciate what I have so much more.

Thank you for coming with me on this journey and I hope you stick around to see everything else that's coming. At this point, even I don't no what the next step will be in our journey.

Its not how deep the sea
Its not how wide the sky
Its how sweet the time
From hello to goodbye