Despite all my reproductive issues, the one thing I could always count on was having a normal, regular cycle. This last cycle was NOT normal for me. I always have a 28 day cycle and I ovulate on day 13 or 14. This last cycle was only 23 days. I ovulate on day 12 but that still makes my cycle fucked up this time.
Oh shit, I thought we had finally solved the problem. Why does my fucking body have to throw me a curve ball now? Why? Maybe it was a fluke...thats what I'm trying to tell myself...but the infertile part of my mind is screaming at me. Its screaming ugly words like perimenopause and worsening LPD. I know its not rational but then what about this whole process is.
My lack of rationality is extending to other areas too. The idea that I won't get successfully pregnant unless I give away all our stored baby supplies has become firmly entrenched in my brain. Its so entrenched that I felt like panicking when my husband said we should hold onto the crib matress a little while longer and not give it away. It feels like keeping a major item like that is waving a red flag in the face of Hope (that bitch)...just asking her to slap me down.
Can any of you talk any sense into me? Please