"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Friday, October 21, 2005

Can you say some prayers for Gabe?

I had another u/s and a NST on Wednesday. Gabe passed the NST with flying colors and the u/s showed him looking so big and strong and healthy and...it found a possible problem. They found fluid around his heart. This is one of those things that could be absolutely nothing or it could be big and bad. My doc says he is not overly concerned because Gabe had just passed an NST with flying colors...good heart rate, good reactivity, etc, etc. And, my doc says that none of the signs that would indicate this being on the big and bad end of the spectrum are there...other than the fluid around his heart, everything looks perfect. No inappropriate fluid elsewhere in his little body...and that is a good sign. My doc also says that if the mom (me) catches a virus, this can cause fluid to accumulate around the baby's heart...and I have been sick (bad cold and diarrhea). So, given my history and given the fluid, they have set me up for an appointment with a perinatologist next Friday. I'm not sure what all he will do at the appointment...possibly blood work...and I will have another u/s at the peri's office. Depending on what they find, they could decide to order a fetal echocardiogram to watch the blood flow through Gabe's heart. I also have a NST on Monday and one on Wednesday.

When I'm being calm and logical, I truly believe that everything will be ok...but, when emotions overtake logic, I am so damned scared. This just isn't fair. I wanted one part...only one part...of this pregnancy to go normally and now that has been shot to sh*t. Just when I had really started to relax and enjoy everything...just when I was starting to believe that everything would be ok, this happens and I have to worry again. I am so very tired of nothing going normally.

*btw, on Wednesday, I was 32 weeks 6 days and Gabe was measuring 35 weeks 2 days. His estimated weight was 5 lbs 2 oz (about the 77% for size).


Dee said...

Sending lots of wishes your way that the fluid is nothing bad. If it's any consolation (and I know it's not), miss J had choroid plexus cysts in her brain...so I can fully understand that wanting just 'one thing to be normal' feeling you're having. Please hang in there :-)

Pam said...


Sweetie, I know everything's going to be alright with Gabe. If he's anything like Marty and Joey (and I know he's already shown that side to you!), he'll fight for everything to be OK.

I love you sweetie and I know you and Gabe are both going to make it through this fine! Just remember, I'm sending vibes to Gabe to clear up this fluid and your sending vibes to Emmett to stop those silly contractions. We're in this together doll!

Hostile in Ohio said...

I'm so sorry. Sending lots of positive thoughts and good wishes for you.

Anonymous said...

Hey there!

I'm sure everything will be JUST FINE! Sending some positive vibes and prayers your way regardless. Will be anxiously awaiting an update.

Almost there!!! And boy is he growing!

Hang in there.

The Barrenness said...

I'm sure it's nothing. The peri will probably read you and say that your regular ob is a perfect moron for getting you so upset!

Interesting info about the virus thingy--I had the same thing two weeks ago. I thought I was going into labor early because of the severity of the trots. Not fun at all.

And sure I can send a prayer heavenward for you, my dear.

April said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you.