Tunneling To China

Do you remember when you were little and it seemed like the greatest thing in the world to dig a really deep hole? And, do you remember people making cracks about digging to China? Well, I think my boys are taking that as a literal challenge. Although, as they pointed out, China isn't directly opposite North Carolina. I found out (courtesy of this site) that if they keep digging straight through the earth from here in NC they would end up in the Indian Ocean Kind of near AustraliaI think the inspiration for this feat of excavation was that I got excited about the fact that all the previous holes dug by the dogs and kids had almost filled in and the ground was smoothing out. The kids saw the satisfaction on my face when I contemplated not having to dodge holes with the lawnmower and that was all the motivation they needed to start digging again. Starting in late February/early March, the boys started to dig and dig and dig...At least, I only have one hole in my yard. That won't be too hard to dodge while mowing the lawn.

Anyone planning to to put in a pool or a garden? I have an expert team of diggers available.

The Gnome in the Closet

Y'all, this really happened. An honest to goodness case of truth is stranger than fiction.

I have a good friend who works as a nurse and she works a typical nurses schedule. This lovely lady also has an autistic son. Her son is older and, although he is severely autistic, functions on a high enough level that he can be left alone during the day but she typically calls several times a day to check on him. This system has worked well for them for quite a while. No problems or issues until recently.

A few days ago, A called home to check on her son, C. She asked C how things were going. C said "Everything is fine. I'm just feeding Skittles to the gnome in my closet." Well, this statement was strange enough that A's mommy radar started shrieking "danger, danger, danger." Luckily, A has understanding bosses and she was able to leave work to go check on C.

When A got home, she found a dwarf Census Taker locked in her son's closet. Yes folks, a real live little person was the gnome in the closet. See, when the Census Taker knocked on the door and C answered, his saw the little person and his brain processed this as "OMG, a Gnome came to visit." So, C grabbed a blanket, threw it over the poor census taker, bundled him up, and shoved him in the closet. Then, C shoved a chair under the handle because everyone knows that's how you keep gnomes from escaping. C spent the time from then until his mom got home slipping Skittles to the gnome he so luckily capture. Some one was looking after C and his mom because the gnome dwarf census taker didn't even call the police.

Honestly, my heart goes out to the poor man...but, that doesn't stop me from totally losing my shit every single time I tell the story. I guess I'm just warped that way. The first few times I told the story, I made it to the point when A got home and started laughing so hard I couldn't even talk. Seriously, I had tears streaming down my face and was just screaming with laughter.

So, every time you hear a story that makes you shake your head at the sheer fucknuttery of the situation, every time you hear a story that you just swear can't be true, remember the gnome in the closet! Truth is stranger than fiction y'all.

Sometimes it's hard to get back into the groove...

I was sick last week. It was the kind of sick where it felt like someone had parked an 18 wheeler on top of me and left it there...for two days. What made this sick worse was that my hubby was sick at the same time. Like I mentioned before, I honestly don't think this has ever happened in our almost 18 years together. It really sucked not having someone to pick up the slack while I sat on the couch being pitiful.

Now, I'm trying to play catch up...do the cleaning that piled up while we were sick, do the laundry that piled up while we were sick, etc, etc. Even though everything is slowly but surely getting done, I feel kind of out of sorts...almost like there is something I'm missing and need to be doing. I don't really know why I'm feeling this way. Maybe it's just that I'm trying to re-establish a schedule. Maybe it's something else entirely.

Do you ever feel this way after something shuts down your normal schedule? Or, am I just weird?

Hershey's Better Basket Blog Hop

Wanna have some fun, raise some money for a good cause, and make someone smile? Of course you do. Then join the Hershey's Better Basket Blog Hop and help raise $5000 for Children's Miracle Network.

All you have to do is follow these easy rules...

HERSHEY’S BETTER BASKET BLOG HOP RULES

• Copy and paste these rules to your blog post.
• Create a blog post giving a virtual Easter Basket to another blogger – you can give as many Virtual Baskets as you want.
• Link back to person who gave you an Easter Basket.
• Let each person you are giving a Virtual Easter Basket know you have given them a Basket.
• Leave your link at BetterBasket.info/BlogHop comment section. You can also find the official rules of this #betterbasket blog hop, and more information about Better Basket with Hershey’s there.
• Hershey’s is donating $10 per each blog participating to the Better Basket Blog Hop to Children’s Miracle Network (up to total of $5,000 by blog posts written by April 4th, 2010).
• Please note that only one blog post by each blog url will count towards the donation.

I found out about this fun fundraiser from the mucho fabulous Samantha over at And Baby Would Make 3! Thanks for the heads up Samantha.

I'm sending Easter baskets out to...

• JJ at Reproductive Jeans
• Sheliza at MOMFILES.com
• Heather at Geek By Marriage
• Erica at Diary Of An Infertile Madwoman
• Kym at I'm A Smart One
• Beautiful Mess at Life Induces Thought, Mostly Random
• Mrs. Gamgee at Hobbit-ish Thoughts and Ramblings
• Aunt Becky at Mommy Wants Vodka
  

Random Thoughts From My Almost Unfevered Mind

One way or the other, being sick screwed up Spring break. Sure, I'm almost healthy now but we will have to make up missed days of homeschooling next week during Spring break. Spring colds SUCK!

Joey's back at school. Vic is back at work. I am almost all better. But, Gabe and Marty now have the sniffles. I sure hope they don't get as sick as the rest of us did.

Joey is receiving his First Communion this weekend. If anyone is around, come join us at the 11 am contemporary service at Christ The King Lutheran Church in Cary, NC. If you promise not to look at the disaster that is my house (I was gonna clean but being sick took priority), you can even join us for chocolate pie topped with mousse(Joey's selection) afterward.

The Federal Healthcare Bill - I know we desperately need healthcare reform. You won't get me to deny that. However, I am not happy with the current bill that's about to be signed into law. If it is so wonderful, why is the President and his family, all our Senators and Representatives, and the Unions exempt? Also, a lot of people talk about how it empowers the people. I think it does more to empower the federal government. Honestly, I could discuss the mitutiae of the bill...break down all the issues and problems I think it has...but I don't feel like it. My brain is still far to fried for that depth of discussion.

I have lots and lots of yard work plans for next week. I hope I get even a fraction of it done. BTW, does anyone know when the best time to dig up and split daffodils is? And, does anyone know if crocuses can be dug up and split like you do with daffodils?


Since I obviously am not the only one with a warped and twisted mind around here (see the comments on the last post), I decided to add a poll...

What does Amigurumi Puppy's leg look like?

Instructions on how to use blogger poll widget to place poll inside post found on Dad's Battleground


And, last but not least, do you think anyone would be willing to buy crocheted animals like the dog and the pig that I made? The dog is about 14 inches tall in the sitting position and is a full 25 inches tall if you measure it standing up. Size would vary depending on what type of yarn I used. What do you think a fair price would be?

SHOW AND TELL: The Amigurumi Puppy

Welcome to our weekly expedition into the land of Show and Tell. Y'all know Show and Tell is wasted on the elementary schoolers. Join us weekly to show off an item, tell a story, and get the attention of the class. In other words, this is Show and Tell 2.0.

Last year, I made an amigurumi crocheted pig for Joey's friend. When Joey saw it, he asked me to make him a dog. I'm not quite done but I am pretty proud of the way it is turning out.



********************To see what everyone else in class is bringing to SHOW AND TELL, take a trip to visit the Miss Mel, Goddess of the Infertility Blogosphere.

3 down, no more to follow

At least, I hope no more get sick. Today, Joey woke up sneezing and congested. I really, really hope no one else gets sick.

Since my brain is fried, I don't think anything I write will make any sense. So, I thought I'd leave y'all with a joke. I laughed my ass off when I got this in my email. Enjoy...


I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 92 years old).

We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look up, and find him staring every time.

When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?'

Knowing my dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response, certain that he would have a good one. In classic style, he did not bat an eye in his response.

'Got drunk once, and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son…’

* * * * *

Don't mess with old people. They'll burn you every time.


So, do y'all have any good stories or jokes to share today?

The inmates are running the asylum.

My hubby is sick. I am sick. I don't think we have ever both been sick at the same time. The kids are all healthy. This is a bad, bad situation. Trying to function well enough to prevent total chaos is not easy. Thank God I have good kids (most of the time) or they could really take this opportunity to wreak havoc.

For all you ICLW people, I promise to try and be more interesting tomorrow.

Long distant smooches (don't want to get y'all sick).

Perfect Moment Monday: Flowers from your love

Lori over at Weebles Wobblog says that "Perfect Moment Monday is more about noticing a perfect moment than about creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between."Nothing quite matches having your little one (I still can't believe he is 4) bring you a bunch of flowers he picked and say "I picked these just for you."

Go check out the other perfect moments at this week's Perfect Moment Monday on Weebles Wobblog.

Quickie Time

Oh come on now...get your minds out of the gutter (you know who you are and that I'm talking to you...LOL). It's time for a quickie introduction for ICLW (if you don't know what ICLW is, click on that little green rectangle with the doggie on the right).

1. I have a warped, twisted sense of humor. It saved my sanity when I was a paramedic and it definitely saves my sanity as a parent.
2. I'm a registered independent who wishes I could register as a Libertarian.
3. I am not politically correct. I will never be politically correct (see #1)
4. I really want a fourth child but we've been battling my husband's diabetes and related issues so it hasn't happened yet (and might not happen).
5. I'm a voracious reader. I've already finished 20+ books this year. Come join my 2010 Book Challenge. We have a totally kick-ass group this year (and there will be prizes).
6. I like curse words and try very hard to censor myself in front of my kids. It doesn't always work.
   
7. My friend who inspired the Fuck Cancer post got her MRI results back. The skin cancer on her temple has NOT spread at all. The headaches were caused by something else...woohooo!
8. If you feel the burning need or desire to learn more about me, click on any of these links...my family building/IF history and personal trivia (ABCs of me, show and tells, etc)

I have a few questions left to answer from the last time I offered to answer any and all questions. If you have any questions to add to the list, post them in the comment section.

HAPPY ICLW Y'ALL!

News and Questions and Updates...Oh My!

I'm so proud of my mommy. She got appointed to the NC Governor's Teacher Advisory Committee. The head of the NCAE recommended her for this appointment. I'm so glad she is getting the recognition she so richly deserves.

I am so excited. I have found a super cheap yet nice way to get to NYC for BlogHer. I did a search for bus fares to NY and found a site called GotoBus. They deal with charter bus services and I can get a round trip ticket from Raleigh to NYC for only $60 and travel time is only 9 hours one way.

I finished my first knit project. It's just a simple garter stitch scarf done with two strands of yarn but, I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out.
If any of y'all are on Ravelry, can you tell me what your Ravelry ID is? You can find me under the user name dragondreamer.

What's going on in your life right now?

The Fever Has Hit!

No, not spring fever. It's basketball fever. In the rest of the country, they refer to it as
but, here in North Carolina, that doesn't come close to explaining it. Basketball fever has the state in its grip year round. At that bastion of higher education, my alma mater, students camp out for weeks on end, we brave the bitter cold, all for the opportunity to see Duke stomp on our bitter rivals, the UNC Tarheels Tarholes. Honestly, I can't even begin to explain what it was like to be a part of the infamous Cameron Crazies. We had so much fun and even got covered by ESPN. Ya know, North Carolina may be right in the middle of the bible belt but, every spring, the whole state undergoes a religious conversion and we start to worship at the altar of the almighty roundball. Yes, come spring time, basketball reigns supreme. We don't even wait for the NCAA tournament. The religion of basketball reaches a fever pitch when the ACC tournament starts and isn't completely shaken loose until the last ACC team bows out of the NCAA tournament. I honestly believe it would save the state and certain businesses money if they shut down during the ACC tournament. Every break room has a t.v. tuned in. Thanks to blue tooth technology and online radio stations, people even listen while they pretend to work. Hell, I even remember teachers finding excuses to have t.v.s in the classroom during the ACC tournament. God I loved those high school days.

Duke plays their first game in the NCAA tournament tonight as a #1 regional seed. Forgive me if I'm a bit incoherent in the weeks to come. Basketball fever is raging here in the Cruz household.

GO DUKE!

Duke beat Arkansas-Pine Bluff 73-44

The 10 Promises Of A Stitcher

All of you who are crafters of any sort will get a good giggle out of this. Crafting has a way of taking over your life and your house. If you do something other than cross stitch, just substitute in your craft of choice.

The 10 Promises Of A Stitcher (with thanks to Robin for posting this list on Facebook)

* I will not stuff embroidery supplies in every corner of my house. I fail at this.

* I will not keep 14 projects going at one time. I do not fail at this. I have many, many more than 14.

* I will not buy more threads, patterns, or books when I have a ton at home. I fail at this.

* I will not let my stitching space look like a condemned area. I fail at this.

* I will not relegate the kitchen table to needlework. I fail at this.

* I will not stock up on more stitching supplies just because they are on sale. I fail at this.

* I will not let my embroidery distract me from making dinner. I fail at this.

* I will not stay up all night stitching. I fail at this.

* I will not buy every embroidery magazine I see. I fail at this.

* I should not make promises I cannot keep.

So, tell me, do your crafts take over your life and your house? Have your supplies morphed into a stash and your stash morphed into *S.A.B.L.E. ? It's confession time...come on, it's good for the soul.


*S.A.B.L.E. = Stash Above and Beyond Life Expectancy

SHOW AND TELL: It's A Small World After All

Welcome to our weekly expedition into the land of Show and Tell. Y'all know Show and Tell is wasted on the elementary schoolers. Join us weekly to show off an item, tell a story, and get the attention of the class. In other words, this is Show and Tell 2.0.

I got the coolest email today. I don't know how many of you remember my show and tell post about my Grandpa last year...SHOW AND TELL: my first Marty. Well, today I got an email from the daughter of Salvatore Patrissi, the pilot of the plane my Grandpa flew on. Evidently, her sister was searching the web and stumbled across the pics on my blog. I was so excited about the email that I called my aunt to tell her about it. Not only was she excited about the contact too but she told me a story about my Grandpa that I'd never heard before. My aunt told me that as long as the original crew flew together, none of them got injured. The often limped back with the plane all shot to hell but they were ok. It's like that original crew were each other's good luck charms. Then Mac, the regular co-pilot, got pulled to fill in on a crew that had people out with injuries and Mac got injured during that flight.

England 1944
Celebrating the completion of 30 missions
Patrissi, Swede (my Grandpa, isn't he handsome!),
and replacement copilot (Mac was in the hospital)While Patrissi passed away within 2 yrs of my Grandpa, his wife and kids are still around. I can't wait to exchange pictures and stories with them.
********************To see what everyone else in class is bringing to SHOW AND TELL, take a trip to visit the Miss Mel, Goddess of the Infertility Blogosphere.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Fuck Cancer

First(years ago) we lost our friend Don, then Mary (she's healthy now) fought breast cancer, then my FIL beat cancer but died due to complications from the surgery, then Velda got her terminal diagnosis, then JJ found questionable moles...

Another person I know found a spot that might be cancer...and it was.

This spot was on her face near her temple.

This spot appeared about the same time she started getting wicked headaches.

They are worried the cause is the same.

She has to undergo a lot of tests and is scared.

FUCK CANCER...I'm tired of it hurting people I love.

Evil Mom Strikes Thrice

Did you know I was being mean and horrible because I wouldn't let him use the calculator to figure out percent equations during our math lesson today? Well, according to Marty I was. See, he had problems like...

Julius writes novels and receives 12% of the price of each book sold in royalties. To the nearest cent, find the royalty Julius receives on a book price of $7.99.

The equation used to solve these problems is simple... n = % x total or, in this case, royalty = .12 x $7.99

Those are not that hard but, from all the bitching and whining and moaning I got, you would have thought I was torturing him.

When he finally accepted I wasn't going to let him use it, this ensued...
MBMS: But, why did we even buy it?
EM: Because the school required it.
MBMS: They would have at least let me use it to check the work. Why can't I do that here?
EM: I don't know how they would have used the calculator in school. I'm not a teacher there. I am your teacher here. Writing everything out drills the facts into your head. Checking your work by hand does the same. DO YOUR WORK!
MBMS: But, Mooooooooom, if I make a mistake in one and I don't check it with the calculator then I won't know it's wrong and I'll make the same mistake on other ones.
EM: How can you think that? A multiplication mistake in one does not guarantee a multiplication mistake in the other problems. If you are having problems with the formula, a calculator won't catch that.

OMG, you wouldn't believe the pouting, the huffing, the puffing, and the moaning that followed. I came so close to saying we weren't allowed to use calculators in math class when I was younger, you don't need it either.

Then, EM followed it up by refusing to allow MBMS to print out a 6+ page walk through for a video game. I mean, my god, EM let him do it in the past. How dare she change her mind. I told him that if he wished to sit in front of a glowing screen, he could at least use his own brain power to figure out the game. I said that all having a walk through proved was that he could follow someone else's instructions. Of course, he continued to argue so I finally snapped and said he had a choice between almost non-existent glowing screen time with a walk through or more time without a walk through.

Then, MBMS argues with me about what he would eat for lunch. All he wanted was "rice with sauce. That's the only thing that sounds good." But damn, EM said no again. MBMS could not have just rice and sauce. EM insisted he have something else to help balance his diet...and, miracle of miracles, MBMS was in a much better mood after he ate the other things that EM insisted on him having. He went from being an argumentative pain in the ass to saying "You know mom, I think I was so grouchy just because I was hungry."

ARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH...maybe on days like today, I can video tape the days and sell the DVDs as the best source of no-hormonal birth control available.


EM = eeeeeevil mom
MBMS = much beleaguered middle schooler

Answers

A couple of days ago, I threw the door open and offered to answer any questions you had. Since WiseGuy sounds like she might explode if she doesn't get answers, I figured I'd answer the questions I have so far and, if I get anymore, I can update this post.

What would be a dream vacation?(thanks Meari) Hmmm, I guess this wold depend if we were vacationing with or without the kids. With the kids, I would love a vacation at an all services included resort (or a Disney cruise) where they have all kinds of activities and things for the kids to do round the clock. For just the hubby and me, I would love to go on a "world tour"...visit a lot of places, wander through the non- touristy areas, see the great museums, eat at the quirky little restaurants that only the locals know about, and spend the nights in a great hotel.


Are you actively TTC at the moment?(thanks Mrs. Spock for your 3 questions) well, sort of. Yeah, I know you can't be sort of TTC but that's where we are. I have never had a problem getting pregnant (my problem was staying pregnant) as long as we manage to hit that magic window of opportunity but, right now we are fighting complications of diabetes along with the sheer chaos that is our lives. While we have "enjoyed" each other, we haven't hit that magic window in months.

Who is the bloggy celebrity that you would squeal about if you got to meet him/her in person? Honestly, I don't tend to to get starstruck (at least not publicly). While I might internally be thinking "OMG, I can't believe I'm meeting her" or "OMG, OMG, I can't believe she reads me", externally I am pretty calm. I am far more likely to squeal over meeting people I've gotten to be friends with online but have never met in person...people like Mel or Kym or you or WiseGuy or Wishing4One or my friends from the cross stitch group or... Well, you get the picture. Meeting my bloggy and online friends would definitely make me squeal.

What is the WORST thing you have ever done? I lied to someone dear to me about why something happened. I screwed up badly and caused something negative to happen when I was in my early 20s. I was so upset and ashamed by what happened that I lied about why the negative event occurred. To this day, I hold that secret deep within me. Telling might make me feel better but it wouldn't change anything so why inflict pain on someone else. That major fuck up on my part is why I am such a stickler with myself and others about owning up to your mistakes.

Which 'three people' would you like to recall back from the heaven? (thanks WiseGuy for your 2 questions) My first thought was my daughter. But, if that pregnancy had succeeded, I probably wouldn't have Gabe. And, I can't imagine life without that precious boy.

So, skipping that option, I would bring back my FIL. His death was tragic and unnecessary. We miss him every single day. After that recall, I really don't know. All 4 of my grandparents are gone and I couldn't chose one set of them over the other. There aren't any other celebrities I value enough to recall. Hmmm, could I bank one of those recalls. I'd like to save one for when that bitch cancer finally takes my friend Velda(who is doing well right now, thank God).

What is that one invention by mankind that you believe has completely messed up the human race? Honestly, I think it's the human race that has messed itself up, not any invention. Even something invented with the best of intentions can and has been perverted from its original use (think about the story of Alfred Nobel and dynamite).

I'll still take any questions you want to ask. No topic is taboo.

Kitchen 101: Cooking lessons gone wrong

13 yr olds take you literally. Remember that. If you tell them to drop something in the crock pot, they will DROP it in...even if it's 6 lbs of frozen roast. 6 lbs of roast + a ceramic crock pot liner = disaster

When you can see through the bottom of your crock pot
and the interior of the heating portion looks like this
it is time to change your cooking plans and to go shopping for a new crockpot.

I'm swimming in books!

It's return of the contest slut, part 3...

I am so excited. It the last two weeks, I have won a boatload of books. First, I enter a contest hosted by two fabulous romance authors, Roslyn Holcomb and Lisa G Riley. I won 3 books from Ros, 3 from Lisa, and a $20 giftcard to Amazon. Man did that thrill me!

Then, last week I was reading all the Show&Tell entries and PandaBox 33's blog had a review of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls. She had a link to the contest being held by Quirk Classics. They were giving away 50 prize packs consisting of

• Pride and Prejudice and Zombies Journal
• Pride and Prejudice and Zombies Postcards
• Audio Books of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters
• An advance copy of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls
• A password redeemable online for sample audio chapters of Dawn of the Dreadfuls
• Dawn of the Dreadfuls Poster

Only 50 prize packs, 60 pages of entries, and I WON ONE! I am totally excited by this.

Now y'all, if you like romance novels, you HAVE to go check out Lisa's and Roslyn's books. They rock as authors and you won't regret picking up on of their books.