The Windex Warrior

Come springtime in North Carolina, I turn into the Windex Warrior. Why, oh why would I become the Windex Warrior? Well, I hate ants. No, not the ants strolling around outside. I hate the little tiny sugar ants that come through the invisible cracks and crevices and feel free to stroll across my kitchen or across the bathroom floor and they hate Windex.

Photo Credit: asobitsuchiya via Flickr

Actually, I don't know if they hate Windex. They probably don't because they keep coming. But, Windex kills ants and is a relatively non-toxic way to do it which is good because it doesn't matter how much I clean, how much I spray, those little fuckers still come. I put out ant traps. I bag any open food in ziploc bags and still those fuckers come. We hit late spring in North Carolina and it seems like someone sent out a text to the ant community saying "Party at Kristin's house. Ant crack available." BTW, for those not in the know, Fig Newtons are ant crack. Seriously, I think they can scent Fig Newtons from a couple of miles away.

I hate those little things because seeing them crawling around makes my skin crawl. They make me feel like things are dirty even when I KNOW I've cleaned less than an hour prior.

Anyone have any tips on how to get rid of them for good? Preferably, a DIY method because I can't afford to pay someone to come do it for me? If you don't have any tips, just tell me about something you hate.

Brainiacs vs The Ass Clown

Bored teenagers are a bad thing.

Bored, brainiac teenagers are worse.

Bored, slightly pissed off, brainiac teenagers can be truly dangerous.

Back in the summer of '86, I was a rising high school senior and I was being recruited by a ton of colleges including the Air Force Academy. That summer, I went to a summer science seminar for a week at the Air Force Academy. It was a blast. We got to hang out with other really smart kids. We participated in incredibly cool seminars ranging from a sort of computerized Risk game to helping with the scientific analysis of the Shroud of Turin. We also acted like all teens did and had desk chair races in the hallways of the dorms and had a kick ass toga party one night.

Most of the Academy cadets who were working with us during the summer seminar were really cool. They were fun, helpful, and all around good representatives of the Academy. There was one cadet though that was a total ass clown. He was snotty to the guys and he ignored all the girls except the one he wanted to hook up with. He acted like an entitled asshole, not a military gentleman.

They had a bunch of activities planned for us including a field trip to Pike's Peak. But, on the day of the field trip, the schedule changed last minute and a handful of us missed the announcement that moved up the field trip time by an hour. Sadly, missing the announcement meant we missed the bus so we were left with more than a couple of hours to kill and very few of the cadets were left to supervise us. We started thinking.

My friend Matthew and I decided we needed to pull a prank. We really, really needed to pull a prank on the ass clown cadet and, we used information we got from him to pull the prank. During the toga party the night before, he was in his room with the girl he hooked up with...something that would have gotten him in a huge amount of trouble if he'd gotten caught. A huge group of us tried to make sure he got caught in there with her by locking his door from the outside. Sadly, we didn't know about one feature of the Academy dorm rooms that foiled our plan...the huge wall to wall windows. Well, we knew about the windows but we didn't realize that you could slide your window open, reach to the next room's window, and slide it open. Then, all it took was a swing across about 6 to 8 inches of space and you've escaped the locked room and avoided being busted.

Now, it dawned on Matthew and I that this process could be reversed and used to get into a locked room. So, we went to ass clown's hallway and tested doors until we found one that was unlocked. We then went from window to window, going through 5 rooms, until we got to ass clown's room. Did I mention that we were more that 3 stories above the ground and that we stopped to take pictures of each other hanging out the windows?

Once we were in ass clown's room, we started looking for something we could take and hide...something that would be big enough to be immediately noticeable but not something personal. Taking something personal just felt wrong and, we knew ass clown would panic if whatever was missing was Academy property...hehehe. We decided to take his mattress. Once we decided that, one of us took the mattress out the door and the other relocked the door and went back through the windows, closing them all behind and covering our tracks. I think I was the one in charge of the mattress and Matthew took the window duty but it was over 25 years ago so I can't swear who did which job. Once the mattress was out of ass clown's room and the window path was covered, we went looking for another unlocked door. The owner of the open room was the lucky recipient of a mattress in their closet...out of sight, out of mind.

Then, we sat back and waited.I don't think the Pike's Peak group had been back for even 15 minutes before chaos ensued. Ass clown discovered the missing mattress and, as predicted, he panicked. It took over an hour for him to find the mattress and, since we weren't the only ones laughing, no one ever knew who were the masterminds behind the Great Mattress Caper of '86...until now.

I think the lesson from my time out at the Academy was don't piss off a smart kid. They will get you back in the most unexpected way.

Anyone have any stories from your high school years that you want to share?

My Not-A-Bucket List

The gorgeous, fantabulous Mo over at Mommy Odyssey prompted me to get off my ass and actually post this list which I've been working on for a while. I don't think I'd really call this a bucket list. Like Mo, this is more a list of hopes and dream and goals...some realistic, others, not so much.

1. Go sky diving...I've always thought that this sounded like a fabulous adventure...so close to flying.
2. Fly in a helicopter...I don't know why it seems so important or so different than flying in a plane but I really want to go up in a helicopter.
3. Get my private pilot's license...the idea of flying just sings to my soul. The freedom, the grace, the beauty just calls to me.
4. Participate in a NASCAR Racing Experience...I love to drive fast but generally don't because it's not safe on the open roads and the thought of higher insurance rates and tickets is a major deterrent. Years, ago, I once took my car around 110 mph (maybe more) before I started running out of open road. I'd love to be able to go faster than that in a safe, legal environment.
5. Dogfight in military jets...there are places that civilians can learn to fly and then they go up with an experience pilot (usually retired military) and get to dogfight. Back to that love of flight...with something for the adrenaline junkie thrown in.  Of course, I'd have to dose myself with dramamine ahead of time (damn that motion sickness).
6. Swim with dolphins...Dolphins are so graceful and beautiful and intelligent. I would dearly love to swim with them. Swimming with them at Sea World would be ok but I'd really love to travel to Australia and swim with the dolphins in the wild.
7. Go to Dragon*Con and Comic-Con...the inner geek in me thrills to the idea of attending both on these Cons.
8. Drive Route 66...I love the idea of a trip across the country on Route 66. I think it would be a fabulous way to see the sites.
9. Participate in Kyle Petty's Charity Ride...Kyle Petty's Charity Ride raises money for Victory Junction, a camp for kids with chronic medical conditions or serious illnesses. Somehow, the idea of riding a motorcycle across a good part of the country to raise money for a good cause sounds like a blast.
10. Visit the Grand Canyon...I want to see it all and do it all in regards to the Grand Canyon. I want to raft down the river. I want to hike parts of it. I want to ride down into it. And, I definitely want to see the Skywalk.
11. Go on a horseback tour of Ireland...My dad's family came from Ireland. Being able to see it on horseback would feed two of my loves at once. I'd get to ride and I'd get to see where my family came from.
12. Renew my wedding vows...Specifically, I want to marry my husband all over again at the Duke Chapel. Now, the building Duke University calls a chapel is actually more like a cathedral and it has the most magnificent organ and vaulted ceiling. I truly would love to hold a ceremony there and, of course, we'd have the most kick ass wedding reception/party afterwards.
    
13. Travel a lot...I would love to show my children the world. I grew up as an Air Force brat. One of the privileges that brought along with it was the opportunity to see the world (or, at least a large chunk of it). For an idea of the kinds of places I like to take them and the things I'd like to see with them, check out my Answers post. 
14. Meet J.K. Rowling and have access to the Harry Potter backstory...I'd love to meet her. It would make my geeky heart sing. But having access to the fabled boxes and boxes of backstory that she created for the Harry Potter stories would send me to nirvana.

What would be on your Not-A-Bucket List? What do you fantasize about doing? If you answer on your blog instead of in the comments, please let me know.

Answers to Your Questions

Thanks to those of you who came up with questions to ask me. It was a lot of fun answering them...even the ones I thought would be difficult to answer.

From Mrs. Gamgee:

• Coffee or tea or neither? While I like tea, coffee is my lifeblood. Coffee deserves it's own food group. I must have coffee!
• Chicken or Ribs? Hmmmm, that's really hard. I have chicken dishes I adore but I'd take a dish of nice, tender, fall off the bones ribs any day, especially with a smoky barbecue sauce.
• When it comes to Marty and Joey, are their personalities what you thought they'd be? In comparison to who they were as toddlers/preschoolers? While I can't pretend to have anticipated it all, both boys are very much like I thought they would be. Even when he was tiny, Marty always seemed older than he was. He was the type of kid people would describe as being an old soul. Despite his goofy side, Marty always had a very serious, precise, almost ordered personality and that is him today. And, Joey...Joey always had a stubborn streak a mile wide, even as a tiny baby. That stubborn streak showed up when he taught himself to ride his bike without training wheels. He fell and got back up and fell and got back up over and over until he conquered it...and he was only 6 when he did that. Joey was also always my social kid when he was little and he still is much more social than Marty today.
• What kind of person do you envision Gabe to be when he's older? My little wild child is going to grow up into a fascinating young man. He is so smart and absorbs so much knowledge that it sometimes stuns me. I know he's going to have a hellaciously funny sense of humor. He's going to have the brains to do whatever he wants. And, I'm a bit scared of the effect he's going to have on girls. Any child who looks at you and tells you how you make his heart super happy and that you are so pretty and on and on and on has the potential to turn into a sweet talker of a major degree.
• If you could take your boys on one big trip... money being no object... where would you take them and why? I would love to take them on a trip through Europe and Asia. I'd want to both stay in fine hotels and camp and hike. Living in the US, it's hard to really get a sense of the long history of people because we are such a young country. I would love to be able to take them to all the historical sites and the modern marvels. I'd love to take them to the places the geniuses of the past like Da Vinci and Gallileo and Newton worked. I'd love to take them to see the artistic masterpieces and the sites the artists created in. I'd also love to visit historical sites related to politics, war, and religion. And, I'd love to bribe/talk our way in to see things like the CERN Hadron Super Collider. I think a trip like that would teach them both how small a single person is and, yet, how massive the contribution of that one small person can be.

From Justine:

• HOW do you DO it?! Everything you do. Which seems like pretty much everything. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water. I often don't sleep all that much (and end up having to catch up later) and my house is chaotic to say the least. I'm not trying to be modest but I really don't feel like I do anything that remarkable...but, thanks for saying that it seems like I do pretty much anything.

From St. Elsewhere:

• Do you believe in first impressions? Mostly, but I do believe (almost) everyone deserves a second chance if they get off on the wrong foot. There can be extenuating circumstances.
• If I put you on a strict diet of eating only one thing for three meals for a whole year, what would you choose, and what would you never choose? Hmmm, if I could only eat one thing for all three meals for a year, I'd want it to be something with a lot of variety...maybe a salad with chicken and fruit and sunflower seeds and a nice vinaigrette. It's something that could either be served traditionally cold or warmed and slightly wilted. The only thing I would totally avoid choosing is something with no variety, with only one or two ingredients. That would bore me completely.
• Any funny boyfriend story you want to share? Does the story about getting caught in my boyfriend's bedroom in my nightgown by his mother yet still convincing her that nothing was going on count as funny?

From Lavender Luz:

• For you, what was the first PG movie you saw? Or R?  The first R rated movie I remember seeing was Blue Lagoon with Brooke Shields and Christopher Atkins. I remember watching it over and over again on HBO and thinking how wonderfully romantic it was.

If anyone else has any further questions,  the floor is still open.

Hallowed, Heavenly Hawaii

When I was growing up, I was lucky enough to live in and visit a number of fabulous locations. My dad spent 21 years in the Air Force and I wear the title military brat proudly.

I think one of my favorite places we lived was Hawaii. Hawaii is an unbelievably beautiful place to explore and having 2 years there was truly amazing. I remember walking down to the canals and going fishing, picking mangoes from our neighbor's tree, and the hours spent body surfing at Bellow's Beach.

Bellow's Beach - picture from a travel website

Bellow's Beach is a military owned beach and it was one of the best body surfing beaches on the island. For me, one of the highlights of body surfing at Bellow's Beach was taking our dog with us. Buffy would get out there in the water and, just like the people, he'd watch the waves over his shoulder. When he saw a good wave, he'd launch himself (usually at the same time as the people) and he'd ride the wave all the way into the shore.

We also loved visiting Hanauma Bay. Hanauma Bay is a fabulous snorkeling location. It is so well protected from the waves that the water

Hanauma Bay - picture from a travel website

was almost waveless and crystal clear. As long as you swam slowly and carefully, the gorgeous tropical fish living in that bay would swim right up to you and would even let you touch them occasionally. I'm really glad to hear that Hawaii has taken steps to protect this beautiful spot and preserve it for generations to come.

We also managed to take a trip to the Big Island while we lived in Hawaii. While we were living in Germany, my parents had met a lovely couple who lived on the Big Island. Since we had a place to stay over there, we got to see the black sand beach at Punalu'u before they were destroyed in the

The Black Sand beach at Punalu'u - from a computer wall paper site

never-ending explosion of Kilauea Iki. We also were able to explore some of the famous Hawaiian petroglyphs without hiking too far into the mountains

copyright Yves Rubin

because our wonderful hosts' had some practically in their back yard. It was so cool knowing that you were seeing and touching the exact spot someone touched a very long time ago.

I really hope I can share these amazing locations with my children someday.

What is your favorite place that you've either visited or lived? Or, where do you fantasize about visiting someday?

My New Favorite Snack

Y'all, I have a new favorite snack. It's sweet, it's salty, it's crunchy, and, best of all, it only takes three ingredients...triscuits, extra sharp cheddar cheese, and lingonberry jam (you can order it online).

Just slice your cheddar cheese super thin (vegetable peelers are a great way to do that), put it on a triscuit, and smear it with a little bit of lingonberry jam...yum yum.

What is your favorite snack?

A Meme By Any Other Name...

I feel like I should be getting on my high horse and expressing my righteous indignation over the bullshit that's been spewed about women's health, prenatal testing, and access to birth control. I feel like I should rage over the sheer assholery exhibited by the man who tried to scam a woman into turning over the child they conceived for adoption by he and his wife. Luckily, I don't have to rage because Cecily of Uppercase Woman and Stirrup Queen's Mel did it so well. When you're done here, go read the three posts if you want to feel righteously indignant.

Instead, I feel like answering some pointless questions and inviting you to answer them too. I found these questions at HumorThatWorks.com...

1. Have you ever had something happen to you that you thought was bad but it turned out to be for the best? When I first found out we were going to move here (to Cary) I was pissed at the world. I didn't want to move. However, it turns out to have been the best thing for our family. Truly, I wouldn't change it if I could.
2. What was one of the best parties you’ve ever been to? My answer to that question right now is so different than what my answer would have been 15 years ago. I went to some awesome parties when I was a member of the local Rescue Squad. I could tell you tales of fake chalk body outlines and people chasing cows on tractors and other bizarre occurrences. Now, I can truthfully say that one of the best parties I've been to was my son's military ball last Friday. I had a blast and it was so much fun watching the kids have a great time.
3. What was the last movie, TV show or book that made you cry or tear up? I bawled at the end of The Story of Beautiful Girl. It was a good cry.
4. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done? The two hardest things I've ever had to do were telling my kids when their grandpa died and, just last month, telling them their Uncle Jose had died.
5. What was the last experience that made you a stronger person? Surviving infertility.
6. What did you do growing up that got you into trouble? Cursed beneath my breath when I was ticked off at my parents.
7. When was the last time you had an amazing meal? I had an absolutely amazing meal last summer when I was in San Diego for BlogHer. It was memorable for both the food we had at Fisherman's Wharf and for the amazing company I dined with.
8. What do you miss most about being a kid? Being able to sleep in to ridiculous hours on the weekends.
9. What is your first memory of being really excited? I can remember the unbearable excitement of one of my early Christmases...lying awake for what seemed like hours.
10. What was the first thing you bought with your own money? A 1991 light blue Ford Escort. She was a good car and lasted for almost 300,000 miles.
11. When was the last time you were nervous? Honestly, I don't know.
12. What is something you learned in the last week? I learned that crocheting doesn't really use more yarn than knitting.
13. What story does your family always tell about you? Hehehe, there are too many too tell right here. My sister likes the story of when the bird flying overhead shit on my shoulder.
14. At what age did you become an adult? Am I really an adult? Do I have to claim that status?

If you decide to join in the fun, let me know. I'll be sure to stop by and check it out.

Boo-beez

There are stories in our past that we each try to forget. Stories we try to pretend never happened. But, for you my friends, cause I love you and want to make you laugh, I'm going to tell you one of those I can't believe it's happening to me stories.

A number of years ago, about a year after Vic and I moved into the first house we bought together (ya know, the house featured in HouseBuyingFucknuttery), we had finally bought the riding lawn mower I'd been lusting after. Don't judge...when you have over and acre to mow, it does strange things to your desires. It was such a sweet looking lawn mower...red and shiny and it had a cup holder.

Friday finally came and I was up on my lawn mower taking care of the yard. It was just amazing how much faster I could finish mowing the lawn. I hadn't been out there long enough to even get a sun burn and I'd already finished the flat area around the house and I was headed up the hill so I could mow the upper part of the yard. I had completed two laps around the upper part of the yard and I heard the engine of a large truck in the distance. As I started the third lap around the yard, I had to make a detour around the swing set.

That detour did me in.

See, this was the first time I had mowed the yard with my beautiful new riding mower. I didn't quite have a handle on the turn radius of that beautiful red machine. As I rounded the slide, I turned a bit too sharply and clipped the bottom corner of the slide.

No, I didn't tear the slide off the swing set. It was nothing that simple. The wheel of the lawn mower hooked on the bottom edge of the slide and lifted it up out of the ground. That wouldn't have been too bad except the local yellow jacket gang had used that slide to disguise the entrance to their gang headquarters. Yup, I tore open the entrance to an underground beehive. The gang swarmed and went up my pants leg and under my shirt. I threw that bitch into park, jumped off my shiny red machine, and went tearing across the yard shaking my pants leg and flapping my shirt wildly. As I got near the house, I pulled the shirt up over my head. I figured I was safe. We lived way out in the country. Our neighbors were at work. And, dammit, the desperate need to get the bees out of my clothes overrode any sense of modesty.

I was wrong. I wasn't safe. Remember that large truck motor I heard. It was the motor of the UPS truck. And, you'll never guess whose house he was coming to...mine. That day will go down in Cruz family history ads the day I stripped for the UPS man. I bet the UPS guy didn't know he was going to get his very own peep show when he came to work that day.

Tales from the Dark Side

Earlier this week, I opened the floor to any and all questions. I promised to answer anything asked and, since my brain is too addled by kid cooties to think straight, I decided today would be the day.

The first few questions come from Mrs. Gamgee from Hobbit-ish Thoughts and Ramblings...

1. What are some of the keepsakes you've kept from when your boys were small? I have the favorite rattles each of them used, a couple of night lights they've outgrown, and I have almost all their baby clothes. I plan to make little quilts out of the baby clothes and blankets I saved.
2. If you had to give up one, either fabric based crafting (quilting, sewing, crochet, etc) or cooking, which would you give up and why? Oh, I'd give up cooking, no question. First of all, my husband is a kick ass cook. Second, my crafting has saved my sanity on more than one occasion. It's a hella cheaper than therapy.
3. I've been craving a margarita lately, but since I can't have one, what kind will you have on my behalf? (if you don't like margaritas, what other grown up drink do you prefer?) I adore traditional frozen margaritas but I also love Piña Coladas.
   

The next few questions are from Bloggers for Hope...

1. I'd love to hear more about the books you like to read.... For me, the type of books I read are truly dependent on the mood I'm in. I can and will read just about anything. I've read amazing biographies about Walt Disney and Gene Roddenberry. I have a book high on my too read list that was written by a young man who has autism about what it's like to live with it. I adore scifi and fantasy (I use to read almost every Star Trek book out there). But, my biggest literary obsession are Romance books. I think the reason I love them so much is that there is almost always a Happily Ever After and they can fall into almost every genre...romance with fantasy, romance with mystery, romance with thriller.
2. and what kind of crafts do you like?  I don't think I've met a craft I dislike. I tend to favor the fabric/fiber based ones like sewing, quilting, cross stitching, crocheting, knitting. That's why I really need to win the lottery...so I can sit around and craft all day. I'll pay someone else to clean my house and I'll craft the days away.
3. Do you have a favorite or one you'd love to do in the near future! I've never tried it but I'd love to make a Temari Ball someday.

   

   Photo courtesy of Rainy Bay Arts

The last question is from Alana of Alana-isms...

1. How do you dye your hair? Where/how do you purchase purple dye, or create it on your own? I bleach it and color it with products from Manic Panic. I use the colors from their Amplified line because, even though the colors are still made with all natural ingredients, it lasts significantly longer. Last time, I went for a peacock look and used Ultra Violet and Atomic Turquoise. I desperately need to redo my hair. It currently has barely a trace of the color in it. What color do you think I should use this time?

Thanks for indulging me. If y'all have any other questions, fire away.

20(ish) Questions - Christmas Style

I am stealing this from Stacie, who stole it from Danifred, who in turn stole it from Rebecca. I think I'll also steal Stacie's idea and think of this as sharing instead of stealing!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? I really prefer wrapping paper. I truly love carefully wrapping a present and doing fancy wraps with the ribbons.

2. Real tree or Artificial? REAL...I honestly tried to talk myself into a pre-lit artificial tree a few years back and I just couldn't do it. I love the smell and feel of a real tree. I don't even mind cleaning up the needles after the holiday. I have too many memories tied to a real tree.

3. When do you put up the tree? We usually put up the tree between the 10th and 15th...not any earlier because it's a real tree.

4. When do you take the tree down? We take the tree down around January 7th. Epiphany (or the end of the 12 days of Christmas aka when the three wise men visited the baby Jesus) is always on January 6th and we leave our tree up until then.

5. Do you like eggnog? Yes, I love eggnog. I love it by itself. I love it in coffee. I also love it spiked...yum yum.

6. Favorite gift received as a child?My parents were always great at picking out gifts. I remember loving my Barbie Townhouse and the full set of the Black Stallion books I got.

7. Do you have a nativity scene? I do. It's not my ideal set but I like it.

8. Hardest person to buy for? I honestly don't have anyone that is hard to buy for. Guess I'm lucky that way.

9. Easiest person to buy for? My sons are all easy to buy for.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Snail mail cards

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Dunno, I'm such a sappy sentimentalist that Something about every gift has made me smile.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? I really love White Christmas and Miracle on 34th Street

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? I always mean to start early but I usually don't.

14. Ever recycled a Christmas present? Nope

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? cookies and fudge and stuffing...just not together


16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Colored everywhere and I really want some of the new LED lights.

17. Favorite Christmas song? I have a soft spot for all Christmas music...just not until Thanksgiving. One of my favorites is "Mary, did you know?"

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? depends on the year.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Sure can - Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donder, and Blitzen...Rudolph cam later

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? an angel - beautiful, lacy, and lit

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Christmas morning

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? I get annoyed when the music and the decorations start in the beginning of November.


23. Favorite ornament, theme, or color? I have no theme. My tree is decorated with everything from imported Italian ornaments to paper ones made by the kids.

24. What do you want for Christmas this year? if my Christmas fantasies came true, I would be the proud owner of a Kindle and either a smoking fast laptop or a tablet computer.


So, can I talk any of y'all into joining me in my Christmas thievery sharing? Pretty please.

My Secret Girl Crush

When you blog about your family, there seem to be certain days you are almost obliged to blog about...birthdays, anniversaries, blogoversaries, and more. Monday was one of those days for me, my 17th wedding anniversary. I had really intended to write about my husband today but then I read something about Michelle Obama (thanks Reader's Digest) and decided I had to write about that instead. After all, my husband knows how madly in love with him I am...one blog post wouldn't make a difference. Sometimes, you just have to break protocol and write to the mood of the moment.

I know many of you have been reading this blog for a while and you know that I was solidly in Obama's camp during the last election. I have been sorely disappointed by many things that have happened during this administration but one thing I haven't been disappointed or disillusioned about is the character of the Obamas. I may disagree with many of their political actions but I truly admire them as people...and I kind of have a girl crush on Michelle Obama. She's smart, savvy, has a truly amazing sense of style, and supports causes that are near and dear to my heart. I love that she is such a strong supporter of military families. I absolutely LOVE that she shows girls and women that it's ok to be strong, opinionated, and independent and still be deeply in love with your partner.

I think my all time favorite quote from Michelle Obama has nothing to do with politics. Back in 2009, she was interviewed for Glamour magazine and she was talking about picking a partner. Mrs. Obama said

"Cute's good. But cute only lasts for so long, and then it's, Who are you as a person? That's the advice I would give to women: Don't look at the bankbook or the title. Look at the heart. Look at the soul. Look at how the guy treats his mother and what he says about women. How he acts with children he doesn't know. And more important, how does he treat you? You should never feel less than."

That really and truly says it all.I got lucky and found that all in one package...the heart, the soul, the charmer, and the looks (I love you Vic).

Who do you admire? Tell us a little about why they earned your admiration.

Happy Blogoversary To Me

Holy shit y'all...in only about 14 minutes or so (on the 11th), I will have been blogging for 7 years. 7 YEARS. Wow. Looking back at where I was then and where I am today just blows my mind. Back then, we were in the throes of repeat pregnancy loss and I was wondering if I'd ever have my third child. Now, that little miracle is in kindergarten and shows no fear in tackling anything the world throws at him. I was so lucky and blessed to find a solution to my infertility issues and I've been so blessed to have all of you go on this journey with me.

I wish I had a more profound or moving post to celebrate this 7th blogoversary but, honestly, I've been too busy and too tired to come up with something deeper and more meaningful. Let me tell y'all something...trying to manage a group of 5 year olds at a pumpkin patch is like herding cats. It's a hella bunch of work, you don't get very far, and you end up exhausted...hence, no deep and meaningful post. Instead, I'd like you to comment here and tell me something about you and me...maybe how you found my blog, why you keep coming back, stories you've heard about me, something you've always wondered about me. It would mean the world to me.


in a very off key voice
Happy Blogoversary 2 Me
Happy Blogoversary 2 Me
Happy 7 yrs 2 Me
Happy Blogoversary 2 Me

Ask and Ye Shall Receive...answers that is

Jessica of Too Many Fish To Fry
asked...

• If you were stuck on a desert island and could only have five books, what would they be? The Story of Beautiful Girl by Rachel Simon, one of the Harry Potter books, Bitten by Kelley Armstrong, The Lost Quilter by Jennifer Chiaverini, The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
• And: what's the best place you've ever visited? I think it's a toss up between Venice and the big island of Hawaii. I'd love to go back and see Venice with adult eyes but, the sheer natural beauty of the big island of Hawaii is hard to beat.

Mrs. Gamgee of Hobbit-ish Thoughts and Ramblings asked...

• If Vic were in the doghouse for something, and he brought you flowers as a way of trying to get back into your good graces, what kind of flowers would he bring you? And would they actually be flowers you like? Honestly, I don't hold a grudge. If Vic says I'm sorry, that's all it takes to get out of the doghouse. However, I'm a sucker for sweet smelling roses.
• And along the same vein, what has been the most romantic gesture that Vic has ever made? Once, in passing, I mentioned how much I would like to have a family bible. That year, he searched one out and found me the most gorgeous family bible and it has space to enter everyone's info.

Lavender Luz of Write Mind, Open Heart said...

• How about the old Babwa Wawa question: If you were a tree, which tree would you be? a dogwood

Quiet Dreams of Dreaming of Quiet Places wants to know...

• How did you get your name? Is there a story? My mom and her sister both had the first and middle initials K. A.  My parents picked the Scandinavian spelling of Kristin (in instead of en) because my mom's heritage is Scandinavian and I share my aunt's middle name.

Barb of Fertility Challenged in Florida asked...

• How would you describe your fun times with each child? With Marty - cooking together or just hanging out and shooting the shit; With Joey - I love camping with him or doing something artistic; With Gabe - playing a game or reading to/with him

St. Elsewhere of My Lady of the Lantern asked...

• Who is that person in world history you would like to meet? Margaret Thatcher - she was such a smart, strong, powerful woman
• Is there someone in your family you totally dislike and why? (Family - cousins, uncles, aunts or such) Yes there is. The person is not a blood relative and they are a two-faced, hypocritical bitch/bastard who has accused me of being willing to work my husband into an early grave.
• Between Dalai Lama and Mahatma Gandhi who would you be more excited to meet? probably the Dalai Lama

Ms. Dreamer of The Dreamer and the Realist said...

• When did you decide that you didn't give a shit any more and started dying your hair fun colours? Do you get shit because of it? When I turned 40, I decided I needed to celebrate that fabulous milestone and decided to dye my hair purple. There are a few family members who are a bit bemused at the whole thing but, over all, I receive more compliments on my hair/appearance when it's dyed funky, fun colors than when it's normal.

Well, I had fun. Hope you enjoyed the weird random tidbits I shared. We'll have to do it again soon.

A Deeper Look

Last month during ICLW, I opened the floor to questions. Sadly, only one person took me up on the offer. Happily though, it was the brilliant and wonderful Mrs. Gamgee from Hobbit-ish Thoughts and Ramblings who asked the questions. Strap yourselves in, the wild ride begins now...


1 - Were your boys named after people in your family or did you choose their names for other reasons? a) My oldest was named after my husband and my grandpa...Victor Martin. We actually picked his middle name first (my grandpa's name). My grandpa was a man beyond compare and I felt a need to include his name in my son's name. My husband and I couldn't agree on a first name for the longest while. Names I liked, he didn't and vice versa. We finally decided to give him my husband's first name. Since he has the same initials as his dad, we call him by his middle name.
b) My second son was named after my father (his middle name) and my father-in-law...Joseph Sigifredo.
c) My youngest son is Gabriel Michael. Those names belong to no one in my immediate family. I just knew, in my heart, my soul, that those were the names that belonged to him. When I told my husband, he initially expressed reservation. I looked at him and said "I really believe those names came from God and I'm not going to argue. If you want to, you take it up with the man upstairs."
2 - What do you consider to be your geekiest guilty pleasure? Ummmm, I wear my geekdom proudly so it's hard to think of a geeky guilty pleasure. I guess the closest I get to a geeky guilty pleasure is my deep and undying love of sci-fi television. I've probably seen close to 90% of all the Star Trek series (the original, Next Gen, Deep Space 9, Voyager, and Enterprise). I've seen and own every single Babylon 5 episode. I watched both versions of Battlestar Galactica. I adore Warehouse 13 and Eureka. I'm going to end this list before I start waxing poetic about something.
3 - What is your least favourite food that you end up cooking anyway because your family likes it? Hmmm, I have to admit, it's my tastes that tend to be catered to. For example, we didn't buy peas until very recently. When I was little, I hated peas with a passion. I was known to line them up on the little ledge under the table to avoid eating them. Since I hated them, my hubby didn't buy or cook them. I recently rediscovered peas and found out that frozen peas were pretty damned good.
4 - Have your kids ever come across your 'toys'? How did/would you handle the situation? Luckily, my kids have yet to discover my toy drawer. I imagine that once I got past the initial embarassment, I would tell the older ones that the toys were adult toys and leave it at that. Once they were out of the room, I would promptly find a new hiding place. If it was Gabe, I'd give him a fluff answer and immediately find a new hiding place.
5 - If you ever popped over for a drink, should I have beer, wine, or coolers in the fridge for you?I would never turn down a Guinness Stout or a Sam Adams. I also love a good bottle of almost dry white wine.

So, once again I make the offer...ASK ME ANYTHING...personal, trivia, literally anything.

Random Fucknuttery for ICLW

Welcome,welcome to the monthly fun and insanity of ICLW. I want to have something new up to greet everybody with so I found this cool meme. I have a content worthy post I'll be putting up later so make sure you drop back by. Happy ICLW and I hope to see you back here again.


The Random Question Meme
stolen from Sunday Stealing (edited a few questions that didn't make sense)


1. When showering, do you start the water and then get in, or get in then start the water? start the water and then get in

2. Have you ever showered with someone of the opposite sex? yup

3. Were you ever been forced to shower with one of your siblings? no

4. Have you ever dropped your soap on your foot? not that I remember

5. How old do people say you look? I've been told early to mid 30s...not the almost 42 I can really claim.

6. How old do you act? Bwahahahahaha...depends on who you ask. According to my teenager, I definitely don't act my age. Other people are under the mistaken impression that I'm a good example for kids and act like a proper grown-up.

7. What’s the last song you sang? Meredith Brooks' Bitch

8. Have you recently become a member of anything? yup, a facebook group for book addicts um, readers


9. What are your plans for next weekend? The boys, Jennifer, and I are heading down to join my mom and do some school/clothes shopping. Well, that and hang out with Vic at home.

10. Do you kiss with your eyes open or closed? usually closed

11. Whats the sexiest thing about Sarah Palin? ummmmm, ignoring politics, she is a beautiful woman but I've never analyzed what makes her sexy

12. Who’s the sexiest famous woman alive? Angelina Jolie

13. Who’s the sexiest famous man alive? Oooooh, definitely my tv boyfriend, John Barrowman...hot, hot, hot

14. Does your family have a crazy uncle? I think we are a family full of crazies (in a totally good way)

15. Have you ever smuggled something into another country? no

16. Do you live in a city with a good sports team? sort of, Cary is directly adjacent to Raleigh which is home to the Carolina Hurricanes...Go 'Canes!

17. What is the most unusual thing you covet? I want the Zombie of Montclaire Moors (saw it in the Skymall magazine) for my yard for Halloween...

18. How do feel about the Goth people? I think everyone is entitled to pick their own style even if it isn't one I would embrace.

19. Can you or your significant fix your own car? basic maintenance, sure...anything else, hell no

20. Would you want to kill Casey Anthony yourself if you were guaranteed to get away with it? Nope, for me to kill someone, there would have to be a direct threat to me or my family. I'd make sure she got thrown into the general prison population and had to wear a big sign saying "I killed my daughter." Let the other inmates take care of her.

If you decide to play along with this meme at any point this week, please leave the link in the comments...or you can just answer in the comments.

Also, I opened the floor to any and all questions earlier this week. If you want to ask me something, anything (literally),  leave the questions in the comments.

(Almost) 25 and counting

Did you know that next year is my 25th high school reunion? I know...it shocks the shit out of me too. When I think of myself, I don't think of someone who has been out of high school nearly a quarter of a century (is it just me or does that sound even worse?). I simply don't feel that old. I know my body isn't nearly as skinny as it once was and I know I have a 14 yr old going  into the 9th grade. What I can't figure out is how that many years have passed.

It's a funny thing though. Being 41 and rapidly approaching 42 doesn't bother me. I am comfortable in my own skin. I'm more confident. I'm more secure. I really like the person I've become and I love the people I've surrounded myself with. Sure, if I could reclaim my high school (or college) body tomorrow, I would. But, I wouldn't go back to being younger (even when I wonder how I got to be old enough to be the one in charge). My teenage years were filled with the typical angst and insecurity and I don't want that feeling back.

• Then: I would have been to scared about what people would think and say to do something really unique with my hair or body.
• Now: I rock my purple hair and love it.

• Then: I felt a desperation to belong.
• Now: I am secure in who I am. I embrace my idiosyncrasies and eccentricities.Fuck anyone who doesn't like it.

• Then: I had truly deluded notions of what would make me happy in life.
• Now: I know how little it takes to truly make me happy.

• Then: I'd look at the Duke Basketball players and think "OMG, they are so hot."
• Now: I look at them and think "Boy, they'll look really good when they grow up."

So, share it y'all. How many years since you graduated from high school? Does being older bother you? How have you changed?

A Rose By Any Other Name

Day 21
What names would you NEVER name a child or pet? Shakespeare said "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." I know the Bard had a finger on human emotions and motivation but I beg to differ with him on this idea. Marty, Joey, and Gabriel are all perfectly wonderful names for my boys in my book. And, I love the names (even the goofy ones) that all our pets have. While there are many other names I considered when choosing names for my children, there was one name I told Vic we could never, ever use if we had a boy. I could NEVER name a boy Ralph. Why is the name Ralph taboo in my house? I bet you'll be surprised by the reason. It actually has nothing to do with the fact that ralph is slang for puking (although that would have moved the name way down the list). No, the name Ralph was stricken from my list because of a book. I was in 6th grade when I read Judy Blume's book Forever. Forever is the coming of age story of Katherine and includes her relationship with Michael, the boy she lost her virginity to. Michael has a name for his penis and that name just happens to be Ralph. Since then, I have never been able to hear that name without thinking of the book and the connotations therein.

What name do you wish you had been named? Honestly, I have never wished to have a different name.I love my first name and my middle name is the same as my aunt Kathy's middle name.

Do you like the name of your blog? Way back in the beginning of 2009, I gave my blog a makeover. It gained a new look and a new name but kept the same url. The more geeky of you might have noticed that my blog url is very different from the name. The url stems from the original name of my blog, The Fertile Infertile. When I first started my blog, we were in the hell of secondary infertility and repeat pregnancy loss. Even after we finally had Gabe, I left the blog name alone. Part of that was because I wasn't blogging that often and part of it was I just didn't have a better idea. By early 2009, I had been back to actively blogging for about 6 months and I knew it was time for a change. You can read a little bit about what the name change meant here and here (question 2).

Weigh in with your thoughts on these questions and join the fun of Calliope's Bloggity Summer Camp.

Day In And Day Out

Hey y'all. It's me, the slacker camper here. Still trying to catch up with my Blogging Summer Camp schedule...but, I'm beginning to think it's hopeless..well, maybe not hopeless but it's taking a hell of a lot longer than I thought it would.

Camp Counselor Calliope posed this question for Day 19...How do you (and your partner if applicable) feel about PDA? Does your husband/wife/partner know that you blog and, if so, are they involved? I'm not a big fan of PDAs. Hugs, little pecks, walking arm in arm, all those things are ok but I find it extremely distasteful when people go at it in public...totally without class. My husband does know I blog and reads off and on. In fact, I got him blogging (sporadically) at The Warped Musings of My Inner Self.

Day 11
How are you different from your parents? How are you the same? Well, except for my curly hair, I look very much like my mother. I am a little shorter and probably (sadly) a bit heavier than my mother. I got my skin coloring and lack of height from my dad's family. My sense of humor is a lot like my mom's and sometimes it drives my dad off the deep end (he doesn't appreciate our risque humor). Politically, I seem to fall in between them. My mom still thinks she's a raging liberal democrat but, when you can get her to talk issues and not parties, she isn't quite as liberal as she thinks she is. My dad is a dyed in the wool Republican. The joke in our family is that the only time he voted for a Democrat for president was when JFK ran and he only got my dad's vote because he was Catholic. I definitely consider myself a Libertarian which means I'm stuck being registered as an Independent.

Do your parents and/or family know that you write on-line? Even though they all know I blog now and probably all have the link, it didn't start out that way.

Day 9
What is the most important lesson you learned from your own mother (or other primary caretaker)? I have learned more than I could ever begin to explain in one post. I learned compassion and I learned how to help others in any way possible. I learned that a woman can be the strong one when it's needed. I learned from my parents that "For Better or For Worse" means exactly that and you don't cut and run when you run into trouble. I learned that giving of my time is just as important if not more important than giving of my money. I was truly blessed to have the parents and family that I have.

What do you imagine the name of your Grandmother’s blog would be and what would she write about? I think my maternal Grandma's blog would be called The Military Wife and she would talk about the experiences she had being married to a career military man and volunteering with the Red Cross during war time. I think my paternal Grandma's blog would be called The Butcher, The Baker, and the Newspaper Taker. During their life together, she and my Grandpa had a small butcher shop, she baked for her family, and they delivered newspapers to the entire community. I think she would write a little bit about everything.

Day 8
If you had to teach something, what would you teach? (If you DO teach, when did you discover your love for teaching/the subject?) I think if I ever went into teaching, I would love to teach a hands on art class and maybe venture into sewing, quilting, crocheting, and cross stitch. It would be so much fun.

Do you think blogs can play a role in education? I definitely think blogs can play a role in education as long as kids are taught to question and research everything they read. Blogs can also be a great place to practice writing skills.

Soooooo, to wrap it up, PDAs - thumbs up or thumbs down? Similarities and differences from your parents? Lessons learned and Grandmother's blog names? And, finally, tell me about teaching? Pick something and spill it!

Catch Me If You Can

I have been a bad, bad summer camper. My attendance has been haphazard and I'm going to try and do a little catch up today. I hope head counselor Calliope will forgive me.

Day 18
Our question today is How do you feel about astrology? What’s your sign, baby, and do you think it matches your personality? I don't take astrology seriously but I do have fun with it. I'm a Sagittarius and, baby, I'll claim all the good qualities of a Sag...

"Sagittarians have a positive outlook on life, are full of enterprise, energy, versatility, adventurousness and eagerness to extend experience beyond the physically familiar. They enjoy traveling and exploration, the more so because their minds are constantly open to new dimensions of thought. They are basically ambitious and optimistic, and continue to be so even when their hopes are dashed. Their strongly idealistic natures can also suffer many disappointments without being affected. They are honorable, honest, trustworthy, truthful, generous and sincere, with a passion for justice. They are usually on the side of the underdog in society they will fight for any cause they believe to be just, and are prepared to be rebellious. They balance loyalty with independence."

and I'll just avoid the bad vibes given off by the negative qualities. Definitely don't want to harsh my mellow.

Day 17
What is your favorite thing about the weekend? Do you take a break from blogs or is this when you catch up? I love getting to sleep in. I love that, on weekends, we usually don't have a set schedule and we just get to go with the flow. Sadly, with my husband's work schedule, the weekend is not a guarantee of us having more time together. As for blogging on weekends, I don't necessarily take a break then but I guess that I'm a bit more likely to take a break on the weekend.

Day 15
What was your college experience like? Were you involved in any clubs, groups, etc? If you did not go to college what was your experience like after high school? College was a really incredible experience for me. I think I finally came into my own during college and really gained a lot of self-confidence. Since I was willing to talk about anything and everything, I somehow ended up giving sexual advice to the people on my floor. I ended up gaining a reputation as the Dr. Ruth of my freshmen dorm. I also helped re-establish the Duke Democrats (I'm an avowed Libertarian now) with a dear friend...who I get to see in San Diego when I''m there for BlogHer (Hi Mike!). I also hung out with my friend Mike and his fraternity brothers. I got to go to most of their semi-formals which was incredible. I was vice-president of the Duke Equestrian team and spent one year as the treasurer for my dorm. I also was a member of the Lambda Nu chapter of Alpha Phi Omega - a co-ed service fraternity. And, speaking of dorms, I lived in the coolest dorm on campus. I guess the "popular" groups might have considered us a group of weirdos but we always had fun. We hosted a yearly "Come As You Aren't" party. We were a bunch of sci-fi geeks and Duke basketball fanatics. We hosted High Tea & Croquet on The Lawn. It was a fucking AWESOME place to live. And, OMG, DUKE BASKETBALL...getting to go to games in Cameron Indoor Stadium, camping out in Krzyzewskiville, face painting, and screaming ourselves hoarse.  Can you tell I loved my college years?

Sigh, I was going to try and catch up all the way but I have truly been a slack ass camper. I guess I'll have to do a few more multi day posts.

So, thoughts on astrology, tell me about your weekends, and what was college like for you? Spill it y'all. Inquiring minds want to know.

What I Like About Me

Over the past few weeks, I've noticed a lot of beautiful women being angsty. They're worrying about what to wear and will what they wear be good enough and "OMG, what if I get there and don't fit in with anyone" and what if I don't get an invite to the party. What it all boils down to is they are wondering "What if I'm not good enough?" I think watching all these fabulous women stress over an event (BlogHer '11) that's suppose to be fun is what has made me want to participate Ciao Mom's Things I Like About Me even though I'm sneaking in just under the wire.

So, while you are reading my list of things I like about me, I'm going to challenge each and everyone of you to think of at least 2 things you can truly and genuinely say you like about yourself. Women tend to be far to harsh on themselves. It's time to stop that and time to start celebrating the fabulousness of us.

1) I like my fabulously curly hair. There was a time in my life that I didn't like it. In fact, I could safely say I hated it when I was younger. I desperately wanted hair like everyone else. Now, I love that I have a head full of ringlet curls that never ever go away. They curl, they twine, they bounce, and I love them no matter what color they happen to be.

2) I like that I'm secure enough in myself to have fun with my hair. I no longer limit myself to normal colors. Manic Panic is my friend.

3) I love that I can talk to anyone. I've struck up conversations in some of the unlikeliest locations and some of those people are friends to this day.

4) I love that I look and sound like my mother. Until a few years back, I wasn't aware how alike we look. Now, I can't see how I missed it. I think I am very lucky because at 66, she can pass for someone much younger.

5) I love that not only do I look like my mom but I've inherited her wonderfully witty sense of humor, her brains, and her desire to help anyone she can help. I was raised by an incredible woman and, if I grow up to be even half as wonderful, I'll be in good shape indeed.

6) I love that I am honest and open about how I feel. You will never doubt where you stand with me.

7) I love that I can tell someone to go to hell in such a manner that they don't even realize what they've been told and gladly do it.

8) I love that I see the good in people. I give my love and loyalty freely and I will bend over backwards to do something for someone I care about.

9) I love my eyes, my lips and my boobs. Yup, I have a pretty fabulous rack and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

10) I love that my artist's eye can pick color combinations that may seem unlikely at first but look fabulous once put together.

11) I love my artistic nature. I've never met a craft I don't like or one I can't at least become competent at. There are quite a few crafty things I excel at and a host of things I'm at least passably good at.

It's amazing how hard it is to be complimentary to yourself. I found myself questioning and second guessing my words. Will I sound like I'm bragging? Will I sound obnoxious about it? But, damn does it make you feel good when you finally put those words on the screen...These are the things I like and love about myself.

Take a moment and spread the love...share the warm fuzzies. Tell me my dear friends, what do you like about yourself? I challenge each of you who read this post to chime in in the comment section with something you genuinely like or love about yourself.

Since it will probably be too late for you to join in CiaoMom's wonderful event (entries close the night of the 18th), I'm going to offer a prize of some sort...created by my crafty fingers...to one of the brave women who step forward and tell me what she likes about herself.


Thanks to my dear friend Kir for bringing this to my attention.