Armageddon... Armageddon...

Yes, I am actually posting again. So much has changed in my life since I last posted that I don't even know where to start.

First of all, all three of my boys are healthy little (or not so little hellions). Gabe celebrated his first birthday earlier this month and he thoroughly enjoyed it. He really got into opening presents...so much so that Christmas presents couldn't be put under the tree until late Christmas eve because he was opening them. Gabe started crawling at 6 months and started walking at 8 months. He just got his 5th tooth on Friday (the 29th) but lack of teeth doesn't stop him...he even eats apples.







Joey is doing great. He loves school and seems to be my social butterfly. Somehow or another, he talked me into inviting his whole kindergarten class to his birthday party in November. Thank God only 8 of them showed up. Joey towers over most of the kids in his class and I think he could probably squash them all if he chose too. My 6 yr old wears either size 10 huskies or size 12s (which is the same size Marty wears). Joey earned his green belt in TKD and really seems to be loving it.



Marty is officially in the gifted program at school and is well on his way to earning his Webelo badge in scouts. Marty can be the sweetest most helpful kiddo one moment and can cop the biggest attitude the next. Ah the charms of an almost 10 yr old (who I think is in the early throws of puberty...ack!). Marty is a voracious reader. Between his love of reading and his passion for science, I have threatened to buy him Stephen Hawking's book and a dictionary. I think it might be the only way I could have a book last him more than a week.



The biggest change in my life is that we moved. It was a very unexpected move and, at the time, a move I didn't want at all. Now that we have moved and have settled into our new place, I can admit it was for the best. I love our new house. It is slightly smaller than our old one but has so much more character. Also, before we lived way out in the country (otherwise known as BFE). We were at least 20 minutes from anything. Now, we are only a few miles from anywhere we need to go. We are also a lot closer to our families. We have found a wonderful church and because we are so close we can be more involved. Also, the library system in Wake County is completely online. You can reserve and renew all your books through their web site. All you have to do is go by a branch to pick them up. Given how fast we all go through books, this is a very, very good thing. Financially, we are still catching up from all the expenses of our move but, once we are caught up, we will be in a better place moneywise. The only thing I still regret about our move is that I had both kids' bedrooms painted and decorated in the old house and I haven't gotten to do that yet in the new place.

My New Year's resolution is to update my blog at least once a week. If I go longer than that without posting...CALL ME ON IT!

Pics for your perusal...

we are all still sick but we are on the road to recovery. Poor little Gabey-cakes sounds hoarse. To keep you entertained until I'm better, here are some pics to looks at.


3/2/06 3 months old


3/3/06


3/3/06


3/9/06


3/20/06


3/27/06


3/27/06

We are all SICK...

Yup, even little Gabey baby. Gabe and Joey have strep with a nasty assed cold/flu on top of it. Marty and I have the nasty assed cold/flu. Gabey seems to be turning the corner faster than the rest of us...gotta love the way they bounce back...but he is still not the happy camper he usually is.

I feel like crap...my whole body aches...and I still have to be the mom. Somehow, that just isn't fair!

How did a full month pass???

Here it is a full month after my last post entry and I had sworn to myself that I would update my blog at least once a week...how in the hell did that happen?

So much has and is happening that I don't really know where to start.

First topic of discussion...the name of my blog. I started thinking about the name of my blog and was trying to decide whether I should change it or not. I mean, I'm not actively trying to have a baby right now. Our little miracle is here and thriving. Should I really keep the title of my blog as it is? I pondered and wondered and decided and changed my mind as I am apt to do these days. Then, I finally truly decided that I'll be damned if I'll change the title. The title represents a huge part of who I am and the events that have shaped my life over the past few years. While my blog won't be focusing solely on infertility or pregnancy after infertility anymore, that part of my life has left an indelible mark on my heart and soul. I am a fertile infertile...and who knows, maybe in a year or two, I can gain the courage and try for another one. Then all those thoughts and feelings will coming roaring back to the front. Until then, the fertile infertile will just be a title explaining a little bit about who I am.

Second thing on my mind...my gorgeous kiddos. Gabe is fabulous. He frequently sleeps 5 to 6 hrs to start off his night and occasionally makes it as long as 7 hrs before he decides he must eat or perish. Of course, those nights when he sleeps for 6 to 7 hrs convince me that I must have been a wet nurse or a milk cow in a previous life. After one of those glorious sleep filled nights, I have humungous milk filled boobs. Gabe can eat to his hearts content and I can still pump and fill a 9 oz bottle.

Marty and Joey continue to dote on their baby brother and his face lights up whenever he sees one of them. Last weekend, Joey was so sick. He spiked a temp of over 102 and was coughing...almost a croupy cough. The poor kid was coughing so hard his breathing was tightening up which was causing him to get panicky. Of course, the more panicky he got, the more he coughed which led to further tightening of his breathing. It was an ugly circle. I don't get freaked out by my kids being sick...my paramedic training beat that out of me...but this illness was scaring me a bit. I came really close to hauling his butt to the ER that night. I was so relieved when I finally got his fever to break and he was able to get some rest. I was also eternally grateful that this happened on a night Vic was home from work and could take care of the other two (also, thank God for the incrediboobs and all the bottles of pumped milk...I could take care of Joey and Vic could feed Gabe). Joey is still a bit tired and is still coughing some in his sleep but he is essentially better.

We are also dealing with a slightly pulled muscle in Marty's back. Marty and Joey love to play in boxes. When we received Gabe's swing a week ago Friday (THANKS KRISTI), they immediately decided it had a perfect box to add to their collection of boxes that they play in. Marty was standing in the box from the swing...he had just hopped across the living room in it...and fell when he tried to climb out. He wrenched his back and, of course has played the role of the injured martyr to the hilt.

I have a ton more to talk about but I really must go to bed. I am quite stupidly sitting here on the computer while Gabe is soundly sleeping. You would think I would learn and would go to bed shortly after he does.

Craziness, frustration, and wonder...

Yes, those three things really do go together. They describe my life over the past month or so. The craziness and the wonder are both directly attributable to having Gabe in our life. It is truly crazy trying to fit our life around the demands of a baby. Its well worth it and I never, ever regret it but, when your hubby works two jobs and they are both rotating shifts and your other kids have activities 4 days a week, it sometimes feels like you never sit down. All that said, I also have to say that I am truly filled with awe and wonder everytime I think about the fact that my precious baby boy is finally here. My two older boys are so fabulous with Gabe. They truly adore their baby brother and have gone out of their way to help me out with things. And Gabe...he is perfect, he is precious, and he is growing by leaps and bounds. He is very alert and inquisitive and he loves to be held so he can stand up. At his two month check up he weighed 12 lbs 8 oz, measured 24 inches long, and his head circumference was 16 inches. According to the charts, his weight and head are average and his height puts him in the 70 percentile for his age. Hehehehe, how my hubby and I (big heads on both of us) produced a child with an average sized head is beyond me.

The frustration in my life stems from the fact that my husband has been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. Despite the fact that he is making the appropriate dietary choices, he is having trouble getting his blood sugar down to where it should be. I am hoping and praying that they can control it with oral meds and we don't have to resort to insulin.

Marty, my oldest, is doing well in school and seems to be losing some of his fear/reservation about performing in front of people. His class is putting on a play about the Underground Railroad and he is playing the teacher. He has to dress up in a sports coat and tie. I will be sure to take a picture!

And, Joey...my little linebacker...is not so little anymore. Joey has gone through a huge growth spurt recently and I think he may have overtaken Marty in the weight department. The two of them are built soooo differently. Marty still has about 8 inches on Joey but they now wear the same size pants...and Joey's waist is slightly bigger than his big brother's waist. Thats right, my 5 year old and my almost nine yr old both wear size 8 pants! Thank God for eBay!!!

Thats all for now...I'll try to be back next weekend...same bat time, same bat channel!

For your entertainment...

I promise a real update before the weekend is over but until then...

How do you go from this...



to this...



Well, you take one mommy who needs stress relief and add one jigsaw that was still in the house instead of the shed.

I had so much fun it may become a yearly tradition.

And, I found a site that allows you to upload small video files for free. So, if y'all want to see Gabe playing just click on this link Gabey baby

PS...the tree was taken down in a timely fashion...I just forgot to post the pics.

Happy 1 month to Gabe and Happy 100 posts to me...

Gabe's been here for a month and it still doesn't seem real. He eats like a champ and its getting easier to burp him so we don't have the long screamfests at night anymore (YAY!). HIs first check up with his pediatrician was on Dec 7th and, on that date, he was already back up to his birth weight of 8 lb 1 oz. He had his second well baby visit on Dec 27th. He weighed in at 9lb 14.5 oz, his height was 22.5 inches (a gain of 1.5 inches since birth), and his head measured 15.25 inches (grew .75 inches since birth). I knew he had grown but I was shocked at just how much.













I must once again thank all of you for your support. Without the support I received, I might not have been able to stick with it long enough for my miracle baby to make it here.

Merry Christmas...

and Happy Holidays to all my wonderful friends. I hope you are all blessed with your heart's desire this upcoming year.

Also, please take a moment to remember all those lost in the tsunamis last year...and all those they left behind. This is a very tough time for those left behind and greiving.

The promised birth story...

First of all, sorry its taken so long for me to write this out. I had truly forgotten how having a baby in the house sucks up all your time and then some.

On Thursday Dec 1st, I went and checked into L&D at about 7:30 pm. They wanted me to come in early so they could run bloodwork and make sure the heparin was completely out of my system. They also put me on the monitor so they could keep an eye on Gabe all night. Since I had stopped the heparin 24 hours previously, they wanted to make sure there weren't any last minute complications. So, although being on a monitor all night was a royal PITA, I was more than happy to do it. I guess we scheduled my c-section for a good day because I started having the first contractions of my pregnancy that night in the hopsital. They weren't strong or productive contrax but they were happening.

The next morning, they came in at about 5:30 am and started prepping me for surgery.

I was a lot more stressed about the delivery than I had thought I would be. I guess I was still afraid to let myself believe I would really have a baby at the end of all this. Once they had me prepped, I had to have my hubby add some decoration to my belly...

Unfortunately, we didn't get a picture of my OB's face when he saw it because they hadn't brought my hubby into the OR yet. I can tell you that finding that "note" had my OB and the rest of the OR staff laughing out loud. Once they got my spinal in and the drapes in place, they brought my hubby in. Once they started the c-section, we got the second sign that we picked a good time to deliver. Despite being 39 weeks 1 day, there was already some meconium staining in the amniotic fluid. Luckily, there were no complications from that.

Gabe was delivered at 7:56 am on Dec 2nd and started screaming immediately after being suctioned. As soon as her started screaming, I started sobbing. I couldn't (and still can't) believe that my miracle baby was really here and ok. Gabe screamed until Vic was able to talk to him and hold him and then he quieted right down. I was able to hold my beautiful boy while still in the OR. Gabe was a healthy 8 lbs 1 oz and 21 inches long at birth.

They took Gabe to the nursey while I was in recovery. Thankfully, my time in recovery was short...I was able to move my legs only 45 minutes after my c-section was complete. Once I went to my room on the maternity floor, Gabe was brought to me and he roomed in with me the whole time we were there.

Gabe has been nursing like a champ the whole time. Before my milk came in, he lost 8.6 oz. However, my milk came in less than 2 days after delivery and, by the evening of the 4th, Gabe had already gained back an ounce. By the time of his first appt. with his pediatrician (Wed Dec 7th at 9 am), Gabe had already gained back all the weight he lost. My two older boys have been the best big brothers...

and the best helpers a mom could ask for. I have also been blessed with friends who have showered Gabe with gifts and love...

Just look at this beautiful quilt that was made for him.

I couldn't be happier than I am right now!

He's here...he's here...GABE IS REALLY HERE...

Got home earlier this evening. I will post details later but wanted to ge the pics up. Pics are in order from right after birth through today. He was 21 inches long and 8 lbs 1 oz at birth.

Marty and Joey's room...

In preparation for Gabe's arrival, my two older boys combined room so we would have a bedroom for the nursery. I painted 3 of their walls eggshell white and added a red accent wall. I also painted a chalkboard on one wall and painted the closet door in chalkboard paint. We had a loft built so their beds wouldn't swallow all the floor space. And, yes, that is a loft and not bunkbeds. That is a separate free standing bed frame on the bottom.

I finally finished Gabe's Nursery last night...

Nothing like waiting until the last minute, is there? I still want to paint pics of fishies, turtle, dolphins, shell, seaweed, etc...but that can be done after he is born. Just don't ask me who moved the furniture...I already got that lecture from my hubby...LOL.

I think pregnancy has really warped my sense of humor...

for those of you who are long time friends, I know this statement has you scratching your head and saying "But it was warped before." I think pregnancy has made it even more warped than normal...or maybe its like gallows humor...it is what allows me to cling to the small amount of sanity I have.

You may ask why I think my sense of humor is warped. Well, I don't know what hit me the other night but I decided that I need to take a washable marker with me when I check into the hospital. Right before they wheel me to the operating room to do the c-section, I am going to draw an arrow pointing to my old c-section scar and label it INSTALL ZIPPER HERE. I think I will have to let one nurse in on the joke so she can get a pic of the look on my OB's face...ROFL!

And, a miracle occured today. I was actually able to shave my own legs and paint my own toenails. Not bad for someone over 38 weeks pregnant.

New Belly pic and an update...

First of all, here is the latest belly pic. I look and feel huge...LOL.


Gabe is still as contrary as ever...during my NST yesterday, he was hiding from the monitors in L&D. I don't know how a kiddo as big as he is manages that but he surely did. At this point, I am not having any contrax and there is no dialation or effacement. I finally made it back up to the wieght I started this pregnancy at...LOL...not bad for being 37 weeks. My BP was 138/65...not wonderful but definitely acceptable.

And....I now have a time for my c-section in addition to having a date. My c-section is scheduled for 7:30 am on Dec 2nd. That means I have to be at the hospital between 5:30 and 6 am...UGH. My parents and my sis are going to come up the night before...my parents will be going to the hospital with us and my sis and her girls are going to take care of the boys until they can all come tot he hopsital (around lunch time probably).

I think thats about all the update I have :)

Only 3 weeks left!!!

Had my weekly appointment and non-stress test today. Gabe did great on the NST but he was being particulary contrary. He was moving around soooooo much that he even disappearred off the monitors in L&D...ROFL. My belly is measuring at 40+ weeks (no wonder I feel huge) and I am still 2 1/2 pounds below the weight I started this pregnancy at. My blood pressure was behaving fairly well today and, after lying down for the NST, it dropped all the way to 122/53. Had to have that lovely internal exam today so they could do all the necessary cultures (test for group B strep, etc) before I deliver. Cervix is high, long, and completely closed (could have predicted that since I am having NO contrax...LOL).

I can't believe my baby boy will be here in only 3 weeks.

3 weeks 5 days until Gabe arrives...

and I truly can't believe it. As much as he moves around in there, I know he's doing well. However, I still have trouble believing there will really be a happy, healthy baby at the end of all this. I truly am enjoying every little bit of this...even the movements and flips that are strong enough to make me catch my breath.

As of my appointment last Wednesday (Nov 2), I am still 2 pounds below the weight I started this pregnancy at. However, I think I like the scale at the perinatologist's office better. It measured me a full 3 pounds lighter. My blood pressure still is up a bit at the beginning of my appointments but its not too bad. But, after lying on my side for the NST, my BP was only 105/54. As long as it still drops like that, neither my OB nor I will worry.

Also, my OB talked to the doctors in the hospitals anesthesia department and they do not see any reason to admit me a day early. Because I don' have a classic presentation of a clotting disorder and because it has never affected my health, they are sure it will be more than enough to just discontinue the heparin 24 hrs before surgery. And, they do not see any reason I would not be able to have a spinal for the c-section. My next appointment is on Friday the 11th and I will be filling out all the paperwork for my c-section that day.

As promised, here are some belly shots...



You can see more belly pics taken at the same time at this link http://home.earthlink.net/~chfdcpt/SIGNATUREPICS8.html

I know, I know...

I've been slack with the updating. I will post more extensively tonight (and, yes, that will include a belly pic Penny). Right now we have a friend's birthday party to get ready for and this afternoon we are meeting with the other kids in Marty's first communion class to bake the communion bread for tomorrow.

Love you all and I appreciate the support more than you can possibly imagine.

GABE LOOKS PERFECT...

he is big, healthy, and, most importantly, whatever extra fluid was around his heart is GONE! Thats right...NO MORE EXTRA FLUID AROUND HIS HEART! The peri is really pleased with how well we are both doing and says there is nothing to worry about.

I am 34 weeks 1 day and his estimated weight is 6 lbs 7 oz...somewhere around the 78% for size.

Hehehe, you know how last week we didn't get a good face shot because he was transverse...

Well, this time we didn't get a good face shot because his head is so far down in my pelvis. I guess he is playing hide and seek already.

The "Peg Bundy" pregnancy look...ROFL

Back in the summer of '04, I got these pants off of eBay...my faux leather maternity pants. The thought of them amused me too much to not buy them, so I snatched them up. Pair them with the animal print shirt and you have a Peg Bundy pregnancy look (for those of you who remember Married With Children).


BTW, I have decided not to be worried about Gabe. Any baby that has a heart rate of between 150 and 160 and a kick count of 20 in only 15 minutes HAS to be okay!

New Belly pics of me and ultrasound pics of Gabe...

Gabe's face...half of it is in a shadow because the little twerp is transverse.

Gabe's profile...the little letters on the pic are labeling the nose, lips, and chin

Gabe still isn't shy...LOL

Gabe's leg, foot, and toes.

Can you say some prayers for Gabe?

I had another u/s and a NST on Wednesday. Gabe passed the NST with flying colors and the u/s showed him looking so big and strong and healthy and...it found a possible problem. They found fluid around his heart. This is one of those things that could be absolutely nothing or it could be big and bad. My doc says he is not overly concerned because Gabe had just passed an NST with flying colors...good heart rate, good reactivity, etc, etc. And, my doc says that none of the signs that would indicate this being on the big and bad end of the spectrum are there...other than the fluid around his heart, everything looks perfect. No inappropriate fluid elsewhere in his little body...and that is a good sign. My doc also says that if the mom (me) catches a virus, this can cause fluid to accumulate around the baby's heart...and I have been sick (bad cold and diarrhea). So, given my history and given the fluid, they have set me up for an appointment with a perinatologist next Friday. I'm not sure what all he will do at the appointment...possibly blood work...and I will have another u/s at the peri's office. Depending on what they find, they could decide to order a fetal echocardiogram to watch the blood flow through Gabe's heart. I also have a NST on Monday and one on Wednesday.

When I'm being calm and logical, I truly believe that everything will be ok...but, when emotions overtake logic, I am so damned scared. This just isn't fair. I wanted one part...only one part...of this pregnancy to go normally and now that has been shot to sh*t. Just when I had really started to relax and enjoy everything...just when I was starting to believe that everything would be ok, this happens and I have to worry again. I am so very tired of nothing going normally.

*btw, on Wednesday, I was 32 weeks 6 days and Gabe was measuring 35 weeks 2 days. His estimated weight was 5 lbs 2 oz (about the 77% for size).

Me, myself, and my kids...

Guess I should included the hubby too, huh?

My week of insanity started last Friday (don't worry...Gabe is fine)...and it better end this Friday. It started off with my going to my doc (primary care NOT OB)...my breathing had felt tight for a few days and it just wasn't getting better. Turns out I had a mild case of bronchitis that caused an asthma flare up. I think if it had happened when I wasn't preggo, I probably wouldn't have even noticed. So, I am on antibiotics and an 8 day course of prednisone (standard course of treatment when dealing with an asthmatic). I am so glad I went in because I feel sooooooo much better (even after only one dose of each).

Then, I ran home to get Marty so I could take him to get the new lenses in his glasses. That was easy but I was sooo tired at that point because I was a bit sick. When we left there, we were going to run to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things. I started down the ramp to the highway and got caught in the traffic from this wreck (btw, just heard the UPDATE on the news and found out there were 70 cars involved in the accidents...not just 40). It took me an hour and a half to get one mile down the highway to the next exit...and, of course, I had both boys in the van...UGH. Before I got caught in that traffic, I had beautiful, polished fingernails...it frazzled me so badly that by the time I got off the highway all my fingernails were bitten off. Traffic was sooooo bad on the secondary roads that I knew there was no way to get to Wal-Mart. When I told the boys we weren't going to get there to get their treats, they went into a meltdown...understandable given the circumstances but certainly NOT acceptable. I was sooo frazzled that I went into my own crying meltdown...can we say HORMONE hell? Of course, Joey started sobbing and saying they didn't mean to make me cry which made me feel like crap. We all survived it though and I made it home to feed them and finish the cleaning before the baby shower on Saturday.

The baby shower was a bright spot. My family and my inlaws were all here...even my hubby's cousin's wife (my cousin-in-law?) and her son. The wonderful Miss Margaret and her family were able to come (YAY!!!!). Also, my bestest friend Jennifer and my friend Lisa from down the street and her family were all here. I think it was a total of 11 kids and 11 adults (12 once Vic was able to join us). My nieces were soo cute when I told them Gabe could hear them if they talked to him...they both introduced themselves and were talking to him. Everyone was so sweet and brought the nicest gifts even though I had tried to tell them gifts were nto necessary...that I just wanted to celebrate Gabe's imminent arrival (ONLY 7 WEEKS AWAY!!!!!!!!). Obviously, with all the kids and the men here, this was not a traditional shower and I think that made it MUCH better. We all sat around chatted, ate yummy snacks (thanks mom!), and had cake. The kids ran rampant through the house and played outside despite the fact that EVERYTHING was still wet from the rain. Between having a delivery date and having gotten a crib, pack and play, and the stroller/car seat today, I think I am really beginning to believe I am having this baby. I am still in a bit of disbelief over all this.

My hubby is back on night shifts this month (it started this past weekend) and I have the worst time making myself go to bed when he is on nights. It also seems that I have hit an insomnia stage with this pregnancy (boy I hope it ends soon...the insomnia that is). This all joins together to mean I have been up until a gawdawful hour many nights this week.

And, there are a few nasty bugs going around here and poor Marty caught one of them. He came home from school on Tuesday doing ok but, by dinner time, he was complaining that his tummy hurt. Initially, I thought "oh, this will pass" but that thought disappearred when his dinner didn't stay down. He got sick again Wednesday night. He didn't get sick today but it wasn't until the late evening that we got anything except chicken noodle soup into him. I may keep him home tomorrow just to be on the safe side. He has completed all his school work for this week so it wouldn't be a big deal.

I had a non-stress test today and Gabe did not cooperate at all. I should have been in and out of the office in no more than an hour...maybe a few minutes more. But nooooooooooo, the little shit let us get a good heart tracing for about 10 minutes and then decided to play hide and go seek with the monitor. Despite the fact that we could sit there and watch my belly jump, we tried for about half an hour and could not reacquire his heartbeat for more than a few beats at a time. Since my OBs office is literally attached to the hospital, they had me go over and had the NST done on the really powerful machines in L&D. Gabe passed his NST with glowing results...lots of movementand a nice variable heartrate. I got out of there a full 2 hours later than I had planned. Oh yeah...I regained anpother 2 1/2 pounds. That leaves me 3 1/2 pounds below my starting weight.

That delay meant that I had an hour and a half to get lunch, deposit a check, get some necessities from the grocery store, and make it to Marty's school to pick up his homework before the teacher's left. Believe it or not, I managed to get it all done.



Also, I have finally added a section to my web page for Gabe. The link is http://home.earthlink.net/~chfdcpt/thehatchery.html I've got all the belly shots, shower pics, and other stuff in one location now.