B is for Boys

My post today was going to be B is for Boys Night Out but I haven't felt much like editing the pics and videos from last night. Last night, I felt deaf from the noise levels at the Monster Jam but this morning I woke up to a clogged right ear and a sinus headache.

So, since my lack of hearing and headache distracted me from editing the pictures, I thought I'd talk about my boys. See, I live in a *House of Testosterone and that is not something I ever imagined when I was growing up. I grew up in a house full of females and always imagined myself as the mother of daughters. When I was pregnant with my oldest, the ultrasound tech said three words that changed my life forever..."It's a boy!" My first thought other than "a baby, omg a baby" was "It's a boy...what the hell do I do with a boy." You have to understand, I wasn't disappointed. I just had no clue what to do with boys. Evidently, God thought that cosmic joke was pretty funny because I had two more boys. To make it even funnier, almost all our pets are male too. Once, I thought we were going to balance it out a little bit because my middle son got a kitten that was suppose to be a girl...it wasn't.

But, you know what. It's turned out to be pretty fabulous having boys. My boys are imaginative, creative, rough and tumble, quiet and gentle, and I can truly say there is never a dull moment when they are around. I've also learned things I never expected to learn. I can tell you the difference between front-end loaders and power shovels. I can also expound upon the differences between concrete and cement. More importantly, I've learned there is a critical problem affecting the men in our world known as Male Pattern Blindness or the congenital inability to see what needs to be picked up or put away despite it being right in front of their faces. And, even though it took me almost 2 years, I finally learned to stop saying

On my honor, I will try:
To serve God and my country,
To help people at all times,
And to live by the Girl Scout Law.

and replace it with

I promise to do my best
To do my duty to God and my country,
To help other people, and
To obey the Law of the Pack.

In a house full of boys, I never have to look for an excuse to watch basketball or NASCAR or, even on the rare occasion, watch Monster trucks. I am always assured of having someone to go to a Hockey game with. And, with a house full of boys, especially the bigfoot type I seem to breed, my fabulous shoes are safe from pilferage and unauthorized use.

Surrounded by all this testosterone means there are way to many fart jokes and belching contests being held. We also have enough Hot Wheels/Matchbox firetrucks to staff a department the size of FDNY. And, don't even get me started about the swords, lightsabers, ray guns, bb guns and other assorted toy weapons that populate my house. Some times there are so many boys and weapons running through my house that I think they are planning a hostile take over of the adjoining neighborhood. And, when they aren't planning to take over the world, you can often find them in the backyard with shovel in hand joining the ongoing excavation that will some day provide a direct route from central North Carolina to the coast of Australia.

All in all, they are wild and crazy and frequently loud and mud covered but they are my boys and I wouldn't have it any other way.




*I stole the title House of Testosterone from Sharon O'Donnell who wrote a brilliantly funny book by the same name.