The Gnome in the Closet

Y'all, this really happened. An honest to goodness case of truth is stranger than fiction.

I have a good friend who works as a nurse and she works a typical nurses schedule. This lovely lady also has an autistic son. Her son is older and, although he is severely autistic, functions on a high enough level that he can be left alone during the day but she typically calls several times a day to check on him. This system has worked well for them for quite a while. No problems or issues until recently.

A few days ago, A called home to check on her son, C. She asked C how things were going. C said "Everything is fine. I'm just feeding Skittles to the gnome in my closet." Well, this statement was strange enough that A's mommy radar started shrieking "danger, danger, danger." Luckily, A has understanding bosses and she was able to leave work to go check on C.

When A got home, she found a dwarf Census Taker locked in her son's closet. Yes folks, a real live little person was the gnome in the closet. See, when the Census Taker knocked on the door and C answered, his saw the little person and his brain processed this as "OMG, a Gnome came to visit." So, C grabbed a blanket, threw it over the poor census taker, bundled him up, and shoved him in the closet. Then, C shoved a chair under the handle because everyone knows that's how you keep gnomes from escaping. C spent the time from then until his mom got home slipping Skittles to the gnome he so luckily capture. Some one was looking after C and his mom because the gnome dwarf census taker didn't even call the police.

Honestly, my heart goes out to the poor man...but, that doesn't stop me from totally losing my shit every single time I tell the story. I guess I'm just warped that way. The first few times I told the story, I made it to the point when A got home and started laughing so hard I couldn't even talk. Seriously, I had tears streaming down my face and was just screaming with laughter.

So, every time you hear a story that makes you shake your head at the sheer fucknuttery of the situation, every time you hear a story that you just swear can't be true, remember the gnome in the closet! Truth is stranger than fiction y'all.