When I cave in, I do it in grand fashion...

Yup, I caved. I made it 4 days past when I was suppose to start not the 7 I was aiming for.

The cave in started 2 days ago. I was still avoiding hpts but on Friday I had a momentary lapse of sanity and calculated my potential due date (12/8...2 days after my 36th birthday). Why was I able to avoid hpts but I couldn't avoid the temptaion of those eeeevil due date calculators? Well, getting hpts involves at least a 20 minute trip to the store and the ability to make the trip without the company of my 8 yr old. Those two things made hpt purchase relatively easy to avoid. But due date calculators, those evil, insidious things are all too easily available online and, even worse, I have always been able to calculate that in my head. There was no avoiding it.

I knew I was sunk this morning though. My kiddos were exhausted and I decided to go to church without them.* I also offered to make the run to Wal-Mart to pick up a few essentials. While I was at Wally World, not one, not two, but three boxes of hpts crept into my cart. Before you scoff at my extravagance, be assured that each box contained a second free test. Then, the young twit....couldn't have been more than 20...checking me out felt the need to comment on my purchase..."You're going to make sure, aren't you?" And proceeded to tell me that the health clinic gave out free tests on Wednesday....ummmm, I don't fricking think so! Ther same previously mentioned tests then had the gall to set off the theft alarm at the exit because the twit checking me out was too busy commenting on them to REMEMBER to fucking swipe them and deactivate the theft protection strips. The poor old man at the exit had to look at my 3 boxes of hpts...hehehehehe.

The cave in continued when I got home this afternoon. Despite the fact that is was in no where close to fmu and despite the fact that is had been less than two hrs since I peed, I tested. Thats right folks, I tested.



The second line showed up less than a minute after I peed on the stick. Not bad for a mid afternoon test.

For any of my friends from the cross stitch board, I'm obviously not keeping this a secret. However, I am not ready to discuss it on the board yet. I'll be happy to chat about this via email but I'm not calling anyone to tell them or posting anything about this yet. And, I'm not sure when I'll be ready to. I couldn't have made it this far without you but I just can't take it beyond my blog or email yet. Its too new and way too uncertain.

*the kids stayed home with Vic...his knee was/is acting up and trying to sit in church with the pain wouldn't have been good