"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

I'm still here...really I am.

It has been a crazy month. Marty missed a full week of school when he was sick with the flu. We had to (unexpectedly) put new tires on Vic's car. And Vic's diabetes is proving very, very difficult to control.

Marty is healthy now...so that is good.

However, tires are expensive and that has made money gawd awful tight. We had everything caught up. We had a teensy bit of breathing room (HAH) and then we had to pay for tires. It really, really sucks when something that little wreaks havoc with your budget. *But, when you live on a government employee's salary, that happens.

And, poor Vic, before being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, he had lost 70 pounds. He worked so very hard at it and was rightfully proud of his achievement. Then, he was diagnosed with diabetes. Unfortunately, he seems to get every side effect that goes with the meds that are suppose to control the diabetes. One of the more sucky side effects of the meds is that they can cause a person to gain weight. Does that seem wrong to anyone else?...a disease that is aggravated by weight gain and the the meds to control it can cause you to gain weight. How f***** up is that? Vic's docs have been having trouble finding the right combo of meds to control his diabetes since the very beginning but, as the weight has come back on, it has gotten harder to control. He can eat the same thing two days in a row and one day his blood sugar is great and the next it can be through the roof. **Hell, the other day, it spiked to over 300 for no apparent reason at all. Vic's doc has told him if this combo of meds doesn't control it, the only other option is insulin shots...ugh. Vic is thinking seriously about lap band surgery because, without weight control, the diabetes could have dire effects.

With all this going on, I have found it very hard to be positive about things. I guess thats why I avoided posting...I didn't want to see it all in black and white.

On the positive side of things, Gabe is growing and achieving new things on a daily basis. He is such a miracle and I am awed by him every day. Joey is reading like a champ now and is proving himself to be as smart as his big brother. And, Marty is doing great in school and is really close to being able to test for his black belt in Tae Kwon Do. I really am trying to focus on those things and not the negative.

* For those of you who don't know, my hubby use to be a full time firefighter until he suffered a career ending knee injury in 2001. Between a lawyer who royally screwed up our workman's comp case and having to leave employment with the city to get the miniscule settlement, my very hardworking hubby ended up with a salary cut of 33%. That is hard as hell to recover from.

** I am sure there was some reason but none that we could conceivably isolate.