"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Monday, February 28, 2005

I'm baaaaack...

we are finally all healthy (at least for the moment)...my knee is almost 100 % again (I only need physical therapy once a week now)...and I made it through my oldest son's birthday party.

Next month we will be back to trying to conceive. To be honest, I'm feeling a bit conflicted about it at the moment. I'm really feeling good about my life and my family right now and I am so scared that, if we do get pg again, there will be another loss. I so desperately want another baby and I truly believe there is suppose to be at least two more members of our family. On the other hand, I am desperately afraid that another loss could really send me into a bad depression.

Ugh...don't know why I'm stressing about that. I know we are going to try again. One way or the other, we will deal with the results. I just hope and poray they are good results.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

I try not to be too much like my mom...

but, at moments like this, I know I have a lot of her in me. See, my mom has what I describe as an "Earth mother to the world" complex. My mom thinks she should be able to fix every problem for every person. She thinks she should be able to do anything someone needs. She thinks she should be able to be there for everyone...all the time. Basically, my mom thinks she should be Dr. Phil and Martha Stewart all rolled into one (now thats an ugly picture).

Why do I bring this up now? Well, we are still sick here in the C household. My youngest is recovering from pink eye and seems to have a bit of the stomache bug going around. My oldest is recovering from walking pneumonia. My husband has the same head and chest cold that gave our son pneumonia only hubby got a sinus infection. And me, I have a mildly sore throat and a bit of a cough. I have sort of taken a step back from my computer time to try and nurse us all back to our normal healthy state. And instead of just contentedly doing that, I am fretting that I haaven't been able to read my friends blogs or respond to posts on message boards and offer my support.

Excuse me now while I go beat down my earth momther tendencies and begin chanting my mantra..."I am only human. I am not superwoman."

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

I hab a code...

my oldest son. had the same thing and it morphed into badbronchitis/walking pneumonia. Presuming it doesn't do the same thing to me, I should be back around in a few days. Please don't be upset if I don't comment or update. I just don't have the energy.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Thank God for computer geeks...

I am eternally grateful for people who know enough to write programs. Today, I found a program called PHOTORECOVERY®for Digital Media. This allows you to recover digital pics that are stuck on a damaged memory card or disc. I had taken a whole bunch of pics this weekend because my oldest son was testing for his purple belt it Tae Kwon Do. When I went to download the pics to my hard drive, the card wouldn't read. With this program, I have been able to recover all the almost lost pics.


Sunday, February 06, 2005

How sad is this...

Last night I had a dream about being pregnant. But it wasn't that simple...no, why would anything pregnancy (even dreams) be that simple. I dreamed I was 11 week4 days pregnant and was going in for an u/s. I dreamed the same terrified feelings I've had the last few times I've been pregnant and going in for an u/s. But, in my dream, the u/s was perfect (unlike the last few times I've been pregnant). In my dream, my baby measured right on track and was moving around so much it looked like a dance club in there. The only thing missing was the disco ball.

God I hope I can experience that again...only in real life not in dreamland.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

I'm educating a future doctor about infertility...

A dear friend of mine is about halfway done with med school. Currently, he is doing his OB rotation. I decided that even if it wasn't going to be his specialty, he needed to know and understand all the ins and outs of infertility. I think I managed to shock him with the level of knowledge I possess in this area and I definitely know I shocked him with the comments about the wand monkey. I swear I could hear him blushing across the phone lines. I think I'll consider this little foray into education my good deed for the month.